Love The Unloved
by TattooShadow
Summary: Rewritten! Hermione Granger has a crush on her Potions Master and as she is trying to get close to him, she discovers his horrifying childhood. Can she help him to learn what love is?
1. Prologue

_This story was posted once before and I have since rewritten it. For anyone who hasn't read the original, this is a graphic adult story containing child abuse, trauma, and violence. Although I will be cutting out some of the more severe parts of the abuse, the story will still have a great deal of detail. I will be giving people an alternate website to visit if they wish to read the unedited versions when it comes to those chapters. **If you are offended by this, DO NOT READ IT! You have been warned!**_

**Love the Unloved**

**Prologue**

One of the most important times of a person's life was childhood. The manner in which a child grows up affects him or her for the rest of their lives. Parents imprint a child from a young age with the way they discipline and raise them. They can mold a child into becoming a well grounded and good adult or they can turn them into a hateful bastard.

Hermione Granger was a child from a good family. Her parents were both successful dentists with a decent income. They were kind, loving people, and they raised their daughter to be the same. They taught her right from wrong. They raised her to be independent, generous, and kind. Hermione Granger was a young woman who cared deeply for her family and her friends.

Her parents had never been abusive. Although discipline was a part of child rearing, it should never be anything harmful. Hermione wasn't a spoiled child nor was she considered a 'brat'. She was well grounded and conservative in some respect. She wasn't concerned with petty issues or public images. She was always very studious; striving to be the best _she_ could be. Hermione was a good person who wore her heart on her sleeve. She wasn't ignorant to how some children were raised, especially after hearing about how her best friend Harry Potter had grown up. Hermione knew that some children get abused, but she had never met anyone that had so it wasn't something that deeply affected her. She was even a little naïve to believe that although some parents weren't the best, they would never truly try to destroy their child.

However, not everyone could have a life so perfect. What if a child went through the exact opposite. What if that child was abused, beaten, and hurt in the most malicious way? What if that child was subjected to constant beatings? How would they turn out? What if a member of that child's family had done the most unspeakable things? A child raised in a home that was unwelcoming and cold would turn out to be just that when they reached adulthood.

That child would be shunned by others because of their withdrawal from the outside world. They would be socially inept and well guarded if not terrified. That child would form a protective barrier around themselves to keep everyone out because there was no trust. If a parent or family member couldn't be trusted, then who could?

Hermione Granger had never experienced a life of torment and hatred. Sure, she had people she disliked, but she had never been filled with complete and utter hatred. She had never been in a situation where she might have forcefully lost her innocence. Hermione Granger was unaware that she would come across someone that had the most horrible childhood and darkest secrets. Her naïve view on life would be turned upside down. She had no idea that someone, who terrified everyone around him, was in fact scared to death of the memories he held of his childhood. She would never have imagined that Severus Snape of all people had once been subjected to the kind of abuse that no child should ever have gone through.


	2. Chapter 1

**Love The Unloved**

**Chapter 1**

Hermione Granger was happy to be going back to school with her friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. The school had closed for one year because of the damage done to it by the battle that was fought on its grounds. Death Eaters had attacked and Voldemort had made an attempt on Harry's life, but was unsuccessful. Voldemort had not realized that Harry and his friends had searched for the Dark Lord's horcruxes and destroyed all of them but two. One was Voldemort himself and the other was at their best guest, Nagini. It had been a difficult year for Headmistress McGonagall who not only had to help repair the school, but also fight for Severus Snape who had turned out to be innocent in the death of Albus Dumbledore.

It was shocking to discover that the man was under orders to kill the Headmaster but many people still hated him for it. He did, after all, kill the greatest wizard alive. Hermione had kept up with the Daily Prophet to see how the trial was going and when he was exonerated for his crime, there had been uproar in the Wizarding world as well as at Grimmauld Place. Harry had been furious to find out the man was not going to be going to Azkaban for what he did. The proof of his innocence didn't seem to concern Harry at all because he didn't care if Dumbledore had ordered him to kill him, he believed that Snape should have found another way.

The Gryffindors jumped out of the train excitedly and looked up at the school in the distance. They were quick to get into the carriages and be off, anxious to see the repairs and old friends again. As they got closer to the castle, they could see that much had been done to repair it and bring it back to near perfection but there were still a few areas that were blocked off and undergoing extensive work.

"It looks almost like it did before," Hermione said, smiling.

"It's getting there," Ginny said happily.

Once everyone was gathered in the Great Hall, Hermione felt a sense of relief and comfort. Students were talking happily as if war hadn't come to Hogwarts and nearly destroyed the east side of the castle. It was almost as if some of the students hadn't been injured while others killed. Perhaps, it was a good thing that for the time being everyone was so happy especially in the darkest of times.

Hermione looked up at the Head Table to see the Headmistress talking to the staff and then she noticed Remus Lupin and smiled. He seemed to know that someone was looking at him and glanced at the Gryffindor table and waved to her. It was then that Harry and Ron noticed him too.

"Blimey! It's Professor Lupin! I didn't know he was coming back!" Ron exclaimed happily.

"I'm glad to have him back!" Harry said with a smile and waved to his favorite Professor.

"I wonder where old Slughorn is," Ron said as he looked around.

"Professor Slughorn retired indefinitely. Someone else will be teaching us," Hermione said already having a suspicion as to who it was.

"Really? I wonder who replacing him," Ginny cut in.

"As long as it ain't Snape," Ron said. Hermione swallowed and looked at her friends.

"Honestly, I think it is," she said softly. Harry narrowed his eyes.

"Professor McGonagall wouldn't bring him back…would she?" he asked, his eyes betraying fury.

"I don't know. She worked so hard to prove his innocence so she just might," Hermione said with a shrug.

"You act like it's not a big deal," Harry accused.

"It's not. Professor Snape is innocent no matter how much you hate him or how sour the man is. Besides, he _is_ an excellent teacher," Hermione said, ignoring the fiery rage that was sure to explode at anytime.

"He's a murderer!" Harry snapped catching the attention of some of the other Gryffindors.

"He's also saved your ass on more than one occasion!" she retorted. Harry was about to reply but the Headmistress called for their attention.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts for those who attended previously and welcome to those who are new. As you have probably seen, the damage to the school has been almost completely repaired, but there are still repairs going on in the east corridors so they have been blocked off. Please stay clear of these areas until they are finished. Now, I would like to welcome back, Professor R. J. Lupin who will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts," she announced and watched as the students cheered loudly causing the man to blush.

"I'm so happy he's back," Hermione said looking at the kind man.

"I would also like to announce that despite the controversy this decision has caused, Professor Snape will be taking back his post as Potions Master," McGonagall continued and heard the Hall yell in protest. Some of them gasped in surprise and held a look of absolute fear while a few of the younger students started to cry.

"He's a murderer!" Harry yelled.

"SILENCE!" The entire Hall went quiet and they looked at the Headmistress uncertainly. "I understand the reasons for your protests but let me be clear. I personally witnessed the evidence that exonerated him. He _is_ innocent and you will do well to remember that he is a Professor here and demands respect. I expect all of you to treat him as you would treat your other Professors. Do I make myself clear?" she said and looked at Harry pointedly. There was a murmur of solemn agreement before the Headmistress announced that dinner was served and the food appeared.

"Are you happy now, Hermione?" Harry asked. The girl looked up at him and chewed her food slowly in confusion. Once she swallowed she spoke.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You're murdering Professor is going to be teaching again," he said icily, glaring at her. Hermione raised a brow and shrugged.

"If you want to be angry with me because I like the fact he knows how to teach his subject, then go ahead. I never said I liked the man. I honestly don't like the way he teaches or how he treats everyone but he is intelligent and someone that I could learn a lot from," she replied casually and continued to eat.

"Why don't you just go out with him?" Ron asked sourly. Hermione snorted and shook her head.

"Ok, we went from teaching ability to something completely inappropriate and not in the picture. Either you are sickly perverted or mental," she said, sipping her pumpkin juice.

"What's the matter? You never entertained the idea of fucking such an _intelligent_ wizard?" Harry snapped, catching the attention of several students.

"No, I have not and if I did it would certainly rule the both of you out," she said, this time lacing her tone with venom.

"Harry, stop it!" Ginny snapped angrily. "I happen to agree with her on his intelligence for the subject he teaches! So what are you going to do? Accuse me of wanting to have sex with him too?" This time Harry did stay quiet but he glared at them angrily.

Hermione was grateful for Ginny standing up for her, but she knew why she had done it. Ginny didn't like Professor Snape, but she knew that Hermione did. In fact, Hermione's liking for the dour man went beyond the usual student and teacher relationship. The girl had developed a crush on the man in the latter half of her second year. She had also had a crush on Lockhart, but once she saw just how unintelligent the man was, that quickly dissipated and she began to like Professor Snape. The man was such an enigma that she couldn't help herself. He was tall, dark, and to her he was handsome although Ginny did question that. Hermione was sure that her crush would go away during the summer but when she came back for her third year, she found that she was wrong. The fourth year wasn't any better and by the fifth year, she was sure that her feelings were more than a mere crush. She began to think that she was obsessed with the man and was becoming a little concerned. She had told Ginny about it during fifth year and even after what he had done during their six year, her feelings had remained the same. The year that they were not in school and out hunting horcruxes, she was sure that she would get over this infatuation, especially because she hadn't seen him in that time, but it didn't happen. It didn't help that she had some pictures of him from the Yule Ball as well as newspaper clippings with his image on it. Now that she was coming back for her seventh year, she felt that her feelings had not changed and if they had they were much deeper than they had been before. Hermione's insane use of the time turner now meant that she was technically nineteen years old and convincing herself that this was a mere crush was becoming less likely now that she was older. It took an extreme amount of effort to keep her hormones under control and remain focused when it came to him. Hermione's one hope was that he never found out because she was almost positive that he would Avada Kadavra her on the spot.

Hermione couldn't deny that she was anxious to see the man again but she was also dreading it. Every second she was around him was a chance for him to notice that she viewed him as more than just a Professor. At night, she dreamt of him and during the day, she thought of him. She wondered if there was a good reason for his cruelty. Now that that he had been discovered as a traitor by Voldemort, she wondered if he would be a little more mild tempered now that he wasn't a double agent. Unlikely.

"I wish Snape had died instead of Dumbledore," Harry said waspishly, snapping Hermione out of her thoughts.

"That's a horrible thing to say!" she said icily.

"You would rather have Snape than Dumbledore?" he asked accusingly.

"I didn't say that! I just wouldn't wish death on someone who was forced to do what he did," she growled before she softened a bit. "Not only that, but Dumbledore was dying. The poison was killing him and I'm glad that his misery ended before it consumed him."

"Mione', I think you're hiding something," Ron said, red-faced and angry.

"Like what? I just told you what I thought. Dumbledore was dying. Can you imagine what it was like for him to go through that?" she snapped.

"That may be true, but you are defending Snape an awful lot lately," Harry hissed. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"I am defending an innocent man! To hell with who he is! You did the same thing with Sirius!" she spat.

"He _was_ innocent!" Harry snapped back.

"So is Professor Snape!" she retorted and threw down her napkin and stood up, getting looks from some of the other students. "Grow up, Harry!" With that, she grabbed her bag and stomped out of the Great Hall.

"You really need to leave her alone, Harry!" Ginny spat, glaring at him angrily but he only returned the glare before resuming dinner.

Hermione was muttering obscenities all the way down the corridor until she rounded a corner and ran into something hard causing her to fall back onto her bum. Cuirsing loudly, she looked up to see a very irate Severus Snape standing before her in his formidable black with a nasty sneer on his face. Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock and fear, not knowing what else to do.

"So I do have the serious displeasure of seeing you and your friends again. I was hoping that you would not be attending this year. Apparently, that was too much to ask," he said coldly ignoring the flicker of hurt that cross her face before she tightened her jaw and looked at him defiantly.

"We're not that bad," she replied evenly.

"Really? You are truly not the brightest witch of your age and you will also do well to watch where the hell you're going!" he said nastily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run into you," she said, her tone becoming softer.

"Well, you did and don't do it again! It might also be in your benefit to get off the floor considering that I can see your knickers," he sneered, looking at her as if she was disgusting. Hermione hadn't even realized that her skirt had rode up to reveal her thighs and a hint of the blue knickers that covered her sex. Her faced flushed crimson and she felt her cheeks become extremely hot as she quickly scampered to her feet and fixed her skirt. Now she was truly mortified.

"Um…sorry," she said meekly.

"Shouldn't you be in the Great Hall with those idiot friends of yours?"

"You don't have to call them names," she said softly.

"I will call whoever I want, whatever I want you silly child," he said coldly. Hermione lifted her gaze to meet his cold black eyes and narrowed her own.

"I'm not a child!" she said evenly.

"Yes, you are," he replied in disgust.

"I am nineteen years old! I am an adult!" she snapped angrily.

"Watch your tone with me!"

"Then stop being a-" she stopped herself and wished she had bit her tongue. He raised a brow and looked at her with a menacing smirk.

"A what, Miss Granger?" he asked silkily.

"Nothing. I'm sorry!" she blurted.

"Oh, I'm sure," he replied and stepped closer to her before bending down so that his nose just barely touched hers. Her eyes were wide and she was trying desperately to control her breathing as her heart beat rapidly in her chest. "You, Miss Granger, are nothing but a silly know-it-all that doesn't know when to shut your mouth. It is a wonder that you have friends at all, but then again, your friends are not much better."

"Professor, I-"

"Shut up!" he snapped, his face still incredibly close to hers and his eyes like cold daggers. "I am not going to coddle you and let you get away with everything that the others do. For your cheek, you will serve detention with me tomorrow night at seven o' clock and ten points from Gryffindor."

"That's not fair," she said softly, unable to stop the pool of desire that formed in the pit of her stomach.

"Miss Granger, what ever made you think that I was fair?" he asked coldly, his breath touching her face. He was unaware of how much she wanted to inch up a little closer to him and touch his lips with her own.

"I said I was sorry," she said, her eyes staring into his, searching for anything but they looked dead. It scared her and she wondered if Dumbledore's death is what caused them to lose their life. If she were being honest with herself, she would say they always looked that way long before the Headmaster died.

"Your apology means nothing to me, you insufferable chit," he said coldly and stood up straight.

"Do you have to call me names?" she asked, trying to hide the pain.

"Like I said, I do whatever I want to do," he sneered. "Now get out of my sight!"

Hermione picked up her bag and walked around him, part of her angry and the other part of her hurt. She chanced a glance back to see that he was watching her with a hateful expression. In fact, it was so hateful that it shocked her. Turning away, she walked, wide eyed, down the corridor until she turned and was out of his sight before she leaned against the wall and took some deep breaths. She had never been that close to the man before and now that she had she couldn't stop the intimate thoughts that ran through her mind. The way he had looked at her was frightening but his close proximity had made her want to grab his lower lip with hers and suck on it greedily. She licked her lips and tried to push the thoughts away as she slowed her breathing and resumed her walk to the Gryffindor common room.


	3. Chapter 2

**Loved The Unloved**

**Chapter 2**

Professor Snape was well aware of what everyone thought of his returning to Hogwarts but it didn't seem to bother him. He really didn't seem to care what people thought of him but it did give him the excuse to be even nastier than he ever had been before. Everyone dreaded when they had to attend his class and took extra care to avoid him in the corridors.

Hermione was no exception. During her first day of class she made sure she avoided eye contact with the dour man but she did sneak glances at him while he lectured the students on certain potions they would be covering for the year. She was afraid that he might look into her thoughts and see what she had been thinking about him. Hermione kept her head down but raised her eyes to watch him as he glided around the classroom. She couldn't help but notice the elegance and grace in his walk and the way he presented himself.

The class got to work on their first essay once he finished his lecture. Hermione glanced up at him every once in a while between writing her essay and watched him sit behind his desk, marking essays. She unconsciously licked her lips and let her eyes travel from his elegant spidery fingers to his face only to find that his black eyes were boring into her cinnamon colored ones. Hers eyes widened in shock and she quickly looked back down at her essay, feeling her face burned. Inwardly, she was cursing herself for not being more careful. She could still feel his gaze burning into her as she tried to focus on the rest of her essay. Hermione didn't dare look up at him again for fear that he would catch her. Relief flooded her when class ended and she quickly stuffed her book in her bag and put her parchment on his desk before turning to leave.

"Miss Granger." Her blood ran cold at the sound of his voice. She slowly turned to look at him as the class began to file out.

"Yes, sir?"

"Stay," he said coldly, his eyes glittering dangerously. Hermione nodded slowly and set her bag down on her desk as she willed her heart to stop beating painfully in her chest. Harry and Ron saw the terrified expression on her face and looked at each other before taking a final glance at her and leaving. Once the class was gone, Hermione turned to look at him to find that he was sitting back in his chair, tapping the tip of his quill against his dark mahogany desk and watching her with an unreadable expression. Her expression would have been hilarious if not in the current situation since she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Hermione waited for him to say something but he didn't. Instead, he just stared at her with a cold and calculating gaze. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought she might actually have a heart attack and die on the spot. After another minute of agonizing silence she finally spoke.

"Sir, did you…want to speak with me?" she asked uncertainly. He tilted his head ever so slightly, still glaring at her before he responded.

"Tell me something, Miss Granger, do you normally stare at your Professors or is that a habit you have reserved for me?"

"Um…I…I didn't mean to…" she stammered.

"That does not answer my question," he said coldly.

"I…no…I don't stare…at my Professors," she replied uncertainly.

"Then why were you staring at me?" he hissed.

"I don't know…I was just thinking about what to write…and I got lost in thought…I didn't mean to stare at you," she lied, but the look on his face clearly showed that he did not believe her.

"I don't believe you are being honest with me. If you are planning something with your little friends, Miss Granger, you will be sorry," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"I'm not planning anything," she said, her eyes fearful. "Are you threatening me?"

"What do you think?"

"Um…yes," she said meekly.

"You have seen what I am capable of. Do not cross my path," he warned icily. Hermione was shocked and stared at him in disbelief.

"Sir! How can you say that?" she gasped.

"I can say whatever I want because nothing the authorities do will make a difference," he hissed. "Now get out of here and be here at seven for your detention."

"Sir, I-"

"GET OUT!" he bellowed suddenly, scaring Hermione and sending her fleeing from the classroom.

Hermione was dreading her detention by the time 6: 45 pm came around. She picked at her dinner and barely said a word as she thought about what Professor Snape had said. She couldn't help but wonder if he was serious about his threat or if he was just trying to scare her. Either way, his attitude towards her wasn't exactly what she had hoped for.

"What did Snape want earlier?" Ron asked, eying the girl.

"To yell at me and tell me that we better not be planning anything against him," Hermione said, sounding convincingly angry.

"So much for great teacher," Harry said and glared at her. Hermione snorted.

"His knowledge of Potions is incredible, but the man is so cold! His personality is certainly nothing to be fond of," Hermione said sourly, shaking her head.

"At least you see that much," Harry said, his tone relenting a bit.

"Believe me, Harry, I have no delusions about his attitude," she replied. "I also have to get to detention or I'll be late."

"You got detention already?" Ron asked, flabbergasted.

"Yeah…right after I left the Great Hall yesterday I literally ran into Professor Snape and he gave me detention," she said and stood up. "I guess I better try to avoid another one and get there before he blows a gasket."

"Good luck, Hermione," Ginny said, but Hermione could see the gleam in her eyes.

Hermione practically ran to the dungeons in order to avoid being late and quickly approached his desk. She had made sure that she wore her muggle clothes so she wouldn't ruin her school clothes with the disgusting tasks he would probably have her doing.

"You're late," he growled from behind his desk.

"What?! No, I'm not!" she blurted and received an icy glare. Hermione turned and looked at the clock he had on the wall and saw that she was one minute late. "A minute? Are you serious?"

"Miss Granger, you will serve another detention for your tardiness and another two over the weekend for talking back to me," he seethed, his expression hard and cold.

"I was one minute late and you're making a big deal out of that?" she screeched, not caring about the warning look he was giving her. It was utterly ridiculous that he should punish her for so small a thing.

"You just earned detention on Monday as and ten points from Gryffindor as well," he sneered and locked his classroom door with the wave of his wand.

"I can't believe you!" she snapped.

"Excuse me?" he growled softly, his eyes glittering dangerously. She didn't bother looking at him and instead looked at the contents on the lab table in front of her.

"You weren't this bad throughout my previous years. I thought after being exonerated for killing Dumbledore you-"

Hermione didn't get the chance to finish as she was cut off by the sharp pain of a wand tip pointing into her jugular. She looked up wide-eyed as his face came dangerously close to hers and his eyes displayed a sense of manic anger. She had never seen him like this or known him to quickly lose control of his temper to this extent.

"Don't ever talk about what I did again!" he hissed, spittle hitting her cheeks and lips.

"I didn't think-" She was cut off again by him pushing her up against one of the tables and pushing his wand harder against her throat.

"That's right. You didn't think. Do not mention that man in my presence again. I am not afraid to hurt you, little girl," he said in a low voice laced with venom.

"You could get into trouble for this," she whispered, her lips only mere inches from his.

"Do you think I care? I am a _murderer_, remember?" he asked softly. Hermione looked into his eyes to see the same dead expression that she had seen before. What was wrong with the man?

"I never said you were a murderer, sir. I always said you were innocent," she whispered, desperately wanting him to understand. She felt his wand withdraw from her neck, but his expression was still cold.

"I don't care what you think. You are not my little angel who is going to save me from my own personal hell," he hissed. "I don't need your pity, nor do I need your Gryffindor valiancy."

"Sir, why do you do this?" she asked softly, searching his eyes again for something…_anything_.

"Do what, Miss Granger?" he sneered, backing a few steps from her.

"Push people away. Don't you want someone to care about you?" Then she saw it. The barest flicker in his eyes before it was gone so fast she thought she might have imagined it.

"I do not need anyone to care about me! That time has long past and I do not need the companionship of a silly little girl who thinks she can save everyone from their problems. I am not a house elf!" he snapped. Hermione felt hurt and confused. Should she still try or should she just give up and hope these feelings go away? It had already been five years and her feelings for him only got stronger. Then she thought about the flicker in his eyes that she thought she had imagined.

"I never said you were a house elf, sir. I just don't understand how someone like you can push everyone away? Don't you want to be loved?" she asked softly knowing that she was pushing the wrong man. His eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth slightly.

"Someone like me? What exactly do you mean by that, Granger? A murderer? A bastard? Is that what you mean?" he hissed, clenching his fists.

"No sir, I meant someone so…lonely," she said softly. "You're just always alone and I don't understand why you want to stay that way."

Hermione saw his adam's apple bob up and down for a moment, but his face remained the same with its usual harshness as he glared at her. His knuckles were white from clenching so hard and he looked positively murderous.

"First of all, Miss Granger, I do not appreciate you speaking to me in a manner of familiarity. You do not know me and I do not want you to know me. Second, I do not need your pity. Third, do not ever presume that I need to be…_loved_. It is a meaningless word used by people who have delusional views on how the world really works," he seethed.

"You don't believe in love?" she asked, aghast.

"No."

"How do you know someone doesn't love you and you don't know it?" she asked in disbelief. This time, he surprised her by laughing outright, but his laugh was bitter and cold, without any humor.

"Love _me_? Miss Granger, I never realized you had such a sense of humor. No one loves the _Greasy Bat_ of the dungeons. I know exactly how people feel about me," he laughed coldly.

"Not everyone thinks of you that way, sir," she said with a frown.

"Miss Granger, you have managed to step way out of line in the ten minutes you have been in here, but enlighten me…who do you think _loves_ me?" he asked, a cold smirk on his face.

"Professor McGonagall, Dumble-um…well you know who else…um your parents," she said uncertainly. This time, she noticed his eyes become cold instantly at the mention of his parents.

"Headmistress McGonagall had an obligation to the Headmaster to exonerate me. The Headmaster himself used me to get information for the Dark Lord and I think this discussion is over," he said icily.

"You didn't mention your parents," she pointed out and instantly regretted it when he loomed over her before she could move.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, and you step out of line again I will make you regret it," he hissed.

Hermione felt her heart ache for the man as she realized that he did not want to answer her about his parents probably because they had not shown him affection as a child. He probably hadn't meant to reveal so much, but now she knew and she couldn't stop the thought of her helping him from crossing her mind. She wanted to be his angel, but would he ever open up enough to allow it?

"I want you to organize my personal stores and clean the bottles. I am sure that by your next detention I will have plenty of things for you to clean. Now get to work and do not take anything from my stores," he snapped.

"I wouldn't take anything!" she protested.

"Really? Don't forget I had to deliver the antidote to your _misfortune _with the Polyjuice potion you brewed in second year with my _stolen_ ingredients," he said, looking at her pointedly. Hermione looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed.

"I only did it once," she mumbled.

"Once is enough. Get to work," he replied and watched her go into his personal store room. Detention was just the beginning.


	4. Chapter 3

**Love The Unloved**

**Chapter 3**

Hermione was aching by the third hour of her detention. Her arms were sore from reaching for the vials and bottles on the top shelves, cleaning them, and then putting them back in alphabetical order. She still had two more shelves to go and was steadily growing tired. Professor Snape hadn't bothered to check on her so she assumed that he was waiting for her to announce when she was done.

Hermione thought about what her Professor had said and wondered if the reason for his cold and callous personality had something to do with his parent's treatment of him. She slowly polished one bottle at a time as she thought about what it would be like to get through to him. Her thoughts quickly turned intimate as she imagined him opening up to her before kissing her on the mouth. Hermione felt her face burn as she began to feel extremely hot, picturing his body pinning her against the wall and kissing her with a passion. Hermione wondered what it would be like to have his long fingers sliding in and out of her.

She hadn't realized that she was now working on autopilot as she wiped down the bottles and set them on the shelf, hardly paying attention to what order they were in. Her eyes were on the shelf in front of her, but they were unfocussed and unseeing as she imagined her dour Professor sucking her hard nipples hungrily. Hermione also hadn't realized that Professor Snape had walked into the store room and was leaning against the door, watching her.

Severus watched the girl with narrowed eyes as she polished the bottles and set them on the shelf without thought. It was then that he noticed the flush in her cheeks and the glaze over her eyes. Her breathing was a tad faster than normal and he could smell the sweet scent of her arousal. He glared at her, knowing that he was probably thinking about the Weasley boy. His blood boiled for the simple fact that she was thinking thoughts she shouldn't be with a less than adequate male and in his storeroom where she was supposed to be focused on her work.

"Granger!"

Hermione was just imagining Professor Snape kissing his way down her belly when she heard him yell her name. Startling out of her inappropriate thoughts, she dropped the bottle of frog eyes. It smashed against the stone floor and she stared at it for a moment before looking up at Professor Snape with a fearful expression. She wondered if he had looked into her mind at all. His eyes met hers and he stared at her with a dark expression.

"Now, I know what you'll be doing in your next detention," he said sourly.

"I-I'm sorry…I didn't mean…you scared me," she stammered and bent down to pick up the pieces of the glass bottle.

Severus didn't say anything for a moment but instead watched her pick up the pieces. It wasn't so much what she was doing that caught his attention but rather what she was wearing. He hadn't been paying attention when she had removed her cloak to clean his stores, but now he wished he had so he could have told her to change. Her hair was in a ponytail exposing her slender neck and shoulders. The girl was wearing a loosely fit beige tank top with black filigree designs all over one side of it and tight blue jeans that rested a good few inches _below _her navel. He was rooted to the spot for a moment as he watched her clean because as she leaned forward, her top opened enough to allow him a view of her medium sized pert breasts. He clenched his jaw as he looked at her pink nipples which stood erect from her breasts. Severus hadn't bothered to look at a woman naked in quite some time but now he couldn't help it. When he was younger he had looked at magazines and sometimes peeked in on woman, but never had he done more than that. Grinding his teeth, he cleaned the mess with a wave of his wand and watched as the girl sat back up and looked up at him.

"You are a witch, are you not?" he asked coldly.

"I thought I was not allowed to use a wand," she retorted.

"Not to do your task, but to clean up the mess you just made, a wand would have been much less hassle," he snapped.

"Oh…well…I didn't know," she said uncertainly and stood back up.

"Didn't I tell you to put these in order?" he ground out.

"I did!"

"Really? Take another look," he sneered. Hermione turned to look at the shelves and frowned. All of them were in order until she got to the last one she had been working on before he had frightened her. Her face flushed red as she figured out why they were not in order.

"Oh…um…sorry, sir," she said and quickly began rearranging them in order. She didn't feel her dour Potions Master sneak up behind her until she felt his arms on either side of her, bracing against the shelf. She turned around quickly and gasped when she found his body nearly flush against hers and his face a mere inch from her own. She instinctively put her hands against his chest as if to push him away.

"Take your hands off of me," he growled softly. She immediately did so. "No one is permitted to touch me." His voice was deadly soft and washed over her causing her to swallow hard.

"W-what are you d-doing?" she stammered.

"Tell me something, Miss Granger, what were you thinking about?" he asked in his deep velvety voice. The shiver that went up her spine didn't go unnoticed and his gaze bored into hers.

"Nothing," she lied.

"I know you're lying. I was watching you," he said.

"I wasn't doing anything," she whispered, afraid of what he might already know.

"You were thinking inappropriate thoughts, hence the reason for the unorganized shelf. Your face was flushed and your eyes were dilated," he said smoothly noticing the blush deepen in her cheeks.

Hermione couldn't think of what to say to the man. She looked at his face, noting that he had beautiful long eye lashes and soft lips. She did notice that he seemed to have small scars around his mouth, mostly around his bottom lip. His skin didn't look as rough as people assumed it to be and she could tell that he used magic to shave because he had no stubble at all.

"Miss Granger, you're staring again," he said in a deceptively soft voice.

"Sorry…it's just…" she trailed off.

"Just what?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, there's nothing else to look at," she replied softly.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked again this time with a bit more bite in his tone.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

"Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley?" he asked.

"What? None of them!" she replied.

"Are you sure? The way you were panting gave me the impression you picturing Mr. Weasley fucking you senseless," he said and saw her swallow hard.

Hermione had never heard her Professor say such a word and she was completely unaware of how much of a reaction she would get from it. It shocked her, but at the same time it excited her beyond reason and she tried to clench her legs together to keep herself under control.

"No…I wasn't," she choked out softly.

"I can tell that your thoughts were sexual even without looking into your mind," he said harshly.

"How?" she asked in fear. Snape smirked and leaned in close to her ear, his lips grazing the crest. Hermione felt herself becoming hotter as she felt his breath tickle her.

"I can smell you," he whispered.

"No…" she gasped softly.

"Oh yes. I can smell your cunt from the door," he said and felt her shiver against him.

"I have to go," she choked and tried to push him away before she lost control. Her body was in overdrive as her mind tried to process what he had just said. It wasn't just the embarrassment but also the erotic way he said 'cunt' that was causing her to lose control. He gripped her and pushed her back against the shelves, pulling back so he could look at her face again. Her cheeks were scarlet and she was trying hard to avoid looking at him.

"Miss Granger, I do not appreciate you bringing your hormonal fantasies to my classroom or my detentions. You will do well to keep your mind on your tasks and keep your fantasies in your bedroom," he said coldly, glaring at her. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes…sir," she whispered feeling almost ashamed. He then let her go as if she had burned him and backed away.

"Get out of my sight," he said in disgust and watched her scamper out of his storeroom.

Hermione didn't know if she had ever felt so embarrassed in her entire life. She quickly left his classroom and ran from the dungeons to Gryffindor tower. Once inside the portrait hole, she went straight to her room to find Ginny sitting on her bed.

"Hey, Hermione. Are you ok?" she asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the girl said and plopped down on her bed.

"No, you're not. What's wrong?" Ginny asked and came over to sit on the bed with her. Hermione told her friend everything that had happened while she was in detention. Ginny's eyes were practically bulging from her head by the time Hermione finished.

"He said 'fuck' and 'cunt'?" Ginny gasped.

"Yes," Hermione replied.

"Oh my god! How did you react?" Ginny asked, her eyes shinning.

"How do you think?"

"I bet you about creamed yourself! I don't find him attractive like you do but he's got a voice like the gods and for him to say those words…mmm…I can't imagine the agony you went through," Ginny said.

"You have no idea," Hermione acknowledged and then thought about what the man had said about his parents.

"Ginny, remember what I said about my conversation with him…when I mentioned his parents?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Does your parents know anything about him?" she asked curiously.

"Um…not that I know of. If they do they have never mentioned it," Ginny said.

"Oh. I wonder if his parents treated him badly," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"It would explain a lot," Ginny replied.

"Yeah really! I don't know what I'm going to do."

"About what?"

"About my crush on him. I can't help it. I'm trying to ignore it, but every time I see him it all comes back. I can't stop thinking about him," Hermione said in frustration.

"Hermione, you have had a crush on him since second year and honestly, I think you're beyond that stage now. I think you have fallen head over heels for the man," Ginny said.

"Yeah…maybe. It's just so useless though."

"Why do you say that?"

"Ginny, come on. This is Professor Snape we're talking about. He will never see me as anything more than a stupid little know-it-all," Hermione replied, getting up to change into her pajamas.

Hermione pulled her shirt over her head and rummaged through her draw for her cotton pajama shirt. She never really cared if Ginny saw her naked because the girl was her best friend and had also gotten undressed in front of her before.

"You know, you should go to the rest of your detentions without a bra on too," Ginny said looking at her friends pert breasts.

"Why?"

"He probably noticed that you weren't wearing a bra. Your nipples stick right out. Besides, it's not like you need one. Just go without one to the rest of them too and give him a reason to pay attention to you. I would also recommend wearing tighter tops. The jeans you wore today were good, but you should wear a thong so when you bend over it peaks out of your jeans," Ginny suggested.

"I'll keep that in mind," Hermione said and pulled her purple and white shirt over her head before slipping out of her jeans and knickers. She pulled on her matching pajama pants and sat back down on the bed.

"Did you buy the knickers I suggested?" Ginny asked. Hermione smiled and bent down to open her trunk, revealing a pile of different styles and colors.

"Nice."

"I really like the lace ones," Hermione said.

"My favorites are usually the silk," her friend replied. "I think those are a good start to impressing the evil Potions Master of Hogwarts."

"Right. As if he would ever see my knickers," Hermione said, shaking her head.

"Give it a chance and he just might," Ginny laughed.

"Gin, why are you alright with this? If Harry and Ron found out they would probably kill me and then try to kill Professor Snape."

"Honestly, I want you to be happy and although I don't understand your love for him, if that man makes you happy then so be it. I honestly don't know if the boys would ever accept that," Ginny said sincerely. "But who the hell cares. If they don't want you to be happy then that's their problem." Hermione smiled at her friend gratefully.

"Thank you, Ginny," she said softly.

That night, Hermione lay in bed and thought about the man in the dungeons and wondered what he was doing. She couldn't help but think of how close they were in the potion's storeroom. The feel of his breath against her ear and his voice saying those dirty words sent chills down her spine. Hermione couldn't help but pull the photo of Professor Snape from the Yule Ball out from underneath her pillow and stare at it. The man in the photo scowled at her blackly until she slipped her hand into her pajama bottoms. The portrait then dropped his jaw and stared before it began to magically repeat itself as Hermione rubbed herself while picturing Professor Snape pinning her to the storeroom wall and ravaging her.

Severus Snape sat on his leather chair staring into his fire place and watching the flames while sipping his fire whiskey. He held the glass in one hand and his old switch blade in the other. As he raised the glass to his lips, blood trailed down his arm from the freshly cut gash. He licked his lips and casually looked down at his bloody arm, not bothering to stop the blood from trailing to his fingers. His wrists and forearms were laced with scars from years of self mutilation. It was one of the reasons, Severus never wore short sleeve shirts nor did he work in his lab with his sleeves rolled up when someone was there. He took another sip of his whiskey and stared bitterly at the amber liquid.

"Love me…Granger, you must be truly naïve. No one has ever loved me…" he laughed bitterly. "Stupid girl…if only you knew…" Severus felt his eyes becoming heavy and he dropped his glass to the floor as he fell into an uneasy sleep.


	5. Chapter 4

**Love The Unloved**

**Chapter 4**

Minerva McGonagall had noticed the amount of detentions that her best student had been given and was almost positive that Severus was giving them to her unfairly. After the first two weeks of classes she decided to approach Severus about his behavior. She walked briskly down the steps that led to his classroom, knowing that he would be furious about what she was going to propose. Minerva opened his classroom door just as his last class was being dismissed.

"Severus, I would like to speak with you in private," she said and walked into his office without waiting for him.

Severus watched the class file out before he entered his office to see what the Headmistress wanted. He noticed that she was already sitting in front of his desk waiting for him to take his seat.

"You wished to speak with me, Headmistress?" he asked, sitting in his chair.

"Yes, I've noticed that the students have been much more terrified of you lately. I have also heard that you have been giving Miss Granger an unusual amount of detentions lately. Why is that?" she asked.

"The little wench likes to talk back to me and invade in my personal life, Headmistress! She talks about my needing to be happy and be…_loved_. She has no business asking such personal questions!" he snapped.

"Well, I have to admit she has a point. You do need to find happiness and love otherwise you're going to be a miserable git for the rest of your life," Minerva said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Very funny, Headmistress," he sneered.

"For the last time call me, Minerva. You're not a student anymore nor have you been for quite some time," she replied. "Now, I want you to be a little more compassionate…" Minerva had trailed off when she saw the look of severe un-amusement on the man's face.

"Perhaps _compassionate_ is the wrong word," she sighed.

"Indeed."

"Alright, try being a bit more tolerant to the students. I do not need anymore trouble from parents just because you terrify the children until they actually _want_ a psychiatrist," she said disapprovingly.

"Is that all?" he drawled in obvious disinterest.

"No, it isn't. I've thought this through carefully and I think you need more time to yourself." This time, Severus's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you are going to have more time for your own potions experiments and time to relax," she said and saw his brow rise in slight interest.

"How are you going to achieve this?" he asked.

"You are going to get an apprentice," she said and saw his expression darken. "Or I should say an assistant."

"Hea-Minerva, there is not one student that I would want playing in my labs not to mention no one that I can trust to handle some of the potions I am required to make for the Hospital Wing," he said.

"There is one student capable of being completely unsupervised to make these potions and she is quite trustworthy," Minerva said.

"She?" he inquired before his face drained of color. "No! No! No! No! Absolutely not!"

"Well, it's obvious you know who I am referring to," Minerva said having already expecting this kind of reaction.

"I will not have Miss Granger here with me any more than necessary!" he snapped, glaring at the woman.

"You have already kept her here more than necessary with your insane amount of detentions, Severus," she pointed out calmly. "Besides, it should be good for you. You haven't had female company in…well probably never."

"Excuse me, Minerva, but I have had female company before and I hate it! Not to mention that the way you speak of the matter is highly inappropriate," he said sourly.

"That's because your former Death Eater associates were never good company. After being around Bellatrix I understand why you hate it," she said crisply.

"I've never-"

"Severus, stop being so difficult. Besides, Hermione Granger is an adult. She is nineteen years old and can make decisions for herself, but either way I was not implying that you shag her, I was saying that you need the company. You're such a recluse."

"You are crossing the line," he warned.

"Young man, do not be telling _me_ I am crossing the line or so help me I'll make you sorry! I know part of the reason you are so reclusive and there is no reason for it. You are an adult now and your father is no longer able to hurt you," she said.

"Do not mention that man! You know nothing about me!" he yelled, his eyes blazing. The sudden change in attitude caught her a bit little of guard but she glared at him and held her own.

"I know enough, Severus and don't you raise your voice to me again or I'll hex you," she warned and watched his nostrils flare angrily, but he didn't say anything else. "I know you are a very personal man and I respect that, but perhaps you should try talking to someone about it. If you ever need to talk, Severus, I am here for you. I care about you very much." Severus didn't reply to that but instead quickly changed the subject.

"Does it have to be Miss Granger?" he asked.

"Yes, and I insist that you tell her tonight and get started with her apprenticeship. The sooner she helps you with your work the sooner you can start learning what it means to relax," Minerva said sternly.

Once the Headmistress left, Severus angrily stalked into his room and slammed his fists into his coffee table, cracking the skin on his knuckles. He sat down in his chair violently and pulled his knife from his pocket. Without a second thought, he flipped the blade out and rolled up his sleeve, slicing angrily at the already marred skin. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at his bleeding arm and tried to calm himself.

"Insufferable know-it-all," he hissed as he thought about the different ways he was going to make her life miserable.

Ron watched Hermione as she sat in the common room reading her Charms book. He was sure that over time she would have noticed him as more than just a friend, but it seemed that she was completely uninterested much to his chagrin. He was determined to make sure that she noticed him. Ron went over to the sofa and sat down next to her, putting an arm on the back of the sofa behind her shoulders.

"Hey, Mione," he said.

"Hi, Ron," she replied without looking up.

"I was wondering if maybe we could maybe go…out sometime," Ron said, his face turning slightly red.

"We go out to Hogsmead all the time together," she said, again without looking at him. Ron felt his temper flare now.

"Mione', can't you stop for a minute?" Ron asked sourly.

"I have to finish this, Ron," she said in frustration, completely oblivious to his flaring temper. Feeling completely embarrassed and angry, Ron stalked out of the common room leaving Hermione to finish her work.

Once dinner had come, Hermione had finally noticed that Ron seemed to be angry with her. She watched him stab his food and glare at her from across the table, but he wouldn't speak to her. Harry had noticed the tension and looked at Hermione questioningly, but she shrugged not knowing what to say.

"Ron, what's the matter, mate?" he asked.

"She's what's the matter," he snapped pointing to Hermione and catching the attention of a few other students.

"Me? What did I do?" she asked in disbelief.

"I tried to talk to you earlier but you just ignored me! You always have your nose stuck in a book," he snarled surprising the people around them. "It's no wonder no one ever wanted to go out with you." Several of the students at Gryffindor table gasped including Ginny who wanted nothing more than to slap her brother.

"Leave her alone, Ron!" she snapped.

"You stay out of this, Gin!" he retorted. Before anymore could be said a shadow fell over the table.

"Ten points Mr. Weasley for disrupting dinner," said the silky voice from behind them. Everyone turned to look at Professor Snape and Lupin standing there.

"What is going on, boys?" Professor Lupin asked.

"I don't know…I think Ron is mad at Hermione about something," Harry said uncertainly.

"Mr. Weasley, what's the problem?" he asked.

"Nothing, sir. Nothing I want to talk about," Ron replied, eying Hermione sourly.

"You didn't seem to mind sharing it with the entire hall a moment ago," Professor Snape sneered. He received a nasty glare from the red-head but no further comment.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Lupin asked.

"Yes, sir. I'm just finished here so I'll go to my common room," she said, glancing at Ron.

"Bloody frigid wench," Ron mumbled but several people heard it, including Hermione who ignored him and stood up to leave.

"Mr. Weasley, I'd like to talk to you after dinner," Lupin said sternly.

"Miss Granger, the Headmistress wishes for me to address an important matter with you. Come with me," Professor Snape said and walked out of the hall with the girl behind him.

"Where are we going, sir?" she asked.

"To my office, where else?" he snapped. Hermione rolled her eyes at his attitude and continued to follow him in silence.

Once they were in his office, she set her bag down and waited for him to begin. She watched as he sat down behind his desk and pulled a scroll from one of the drawers, eyeing her contemptuously.

"Sir, if you do not want to speak with me, I'll leave," she finally said irritably.

"You have become quite bold this last year. I do not recall you speaking back to your superiors in such a way before," he sneered. Hermione had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't remark on that. He was right though. She had never been so rude or disrespectful toward her teachers before until now.

"Sorry, _sir_," she said, trying to control her temper but the incident with Ron was still fresh on her mind and not helping. Professor Snape pursed his lips and glared at her, but held out the scroll to her nonetheless.

"What's this?" she asked, her anger temporarily forgotten.

"There is this thing you do called 'reading', perhaps you should put those skills to use now," Snape replied coldly. Hermione ground her teeth and took the scroll, breaking the seal so she could read it. After a moment, her eyes went wide and she looked at him in shock.

"This is an apprenticeship agreement?" she asked in disbelief.

"I do believe that's what it says," he said sarcastically.

"But…why? You hate me," she blurted.

"That is beside the point. Headmistress McGonagall has _ordered_ me to give you this apprenticeship," he replied snidely.

Hermione knew this was a perfect opportunity to be close to him and achieve success in the potions field as well. The problem was that she wasn't sure that she could work efficiently with him in such a close proximity. Part of her thought that she would be making a mistake if she accepted. Swallowing and rolled the scroll up and set it on his desk.

"You're supposed to sign it," he snapped.

"Tell the Headmistress I'm not interested," Hermione said, feeling her stomach plummet as she said those words. For the first time, Professor Snape looked completely shocked. His mouth had even dropped open as he stared at her in disbelief.

"You must be joking," he finally said, eying her suspiciously.

"No. I do not believe I am capable of being an efficient apprentice to you," she replied, picking up her bag. He narrowed his eyes.

"If this is a sly way to get me to compliment you, you are going to be disappointed," he growled.

"Sir, I am not seeking compliments from _you_. I am not capable of the task. Please inform her to find someone else. Can I leave now?" He stared at her face to see that she was serious, yet he could tell that she didn't truly want to deny the offer.

_Strange…_

"Why do you find yourself incapable?" he asked finally.

"I'm not good at potions, sir. I only know how to recite a text book. You've said it yourself," she replied and walked toward the door, desperately wanting to get away from him but he shut the door and locked it with a simple wave of his wand.

"You're not leaving until you sign this," he said angrily.

"You cannot force me," Hermione said.

"Do you have any idea how much nagging I have had to endure about this? The Headmistress will have my head if you do not sign this and I do not wish to be badgered by her any longer! There is no reason why you cannot accept! You're certainly capable of following text instruction to make simple healing potions for the infirmary so I do not want to hear any more nonsense," he yelled.

"I cannot work with _you_!" she snapped back and saw his eyes narrow dangerously.

"Really? Why is that?" he asked, prowling toward her slowly. Hermione backed away as he approached, feeling her stomach churn uncomfortably.

"We don't get along," she said weakly.

"I don't get along with anyone. That's beside the point. What do you know of me that makes you so clearly want to avoid me?" he asked suspiciously. Hermione didn't understand what he was implying by that, but the look in his eyes was the same manic expression he had held before.

"Nothing. I don't know what you mean by that," she said uncertainly.

"Then sign it!" he snapped, quickly losing his patience.

Hermione didn't know what else she could do to deter him from making her sign it. She certainly wasn't going to tell him the real reason for her not wanting to apprentice under him. It was obvious that he thought she had discovered some secret about him and that's why he thought she wanted to avoid the apprenticeship. After debating with herself for couple of minutes, she sighed loudly and set her bag down. Walking over to his desk she opened the scroll and picked up his quill, signing her name at the bottom of the parchment. The entire thing turned gold and disappeared with a pop.

"Alright, so when am I supposed to begin?" she asked.

"Next week. However, you will have to move your belongings to your new quarters within the next few days," he sneered.

"My new quarters?" she asked in alarm.

"Didn't you read the entire contract?! You are now my apprentice for two years. An apprentice is supposed to live with or within close proximity of their master and since I will not permit anyone to live with me, you will have quarters next to mine," he said coldly.

"Oh…I must have missed that part," she said weakly.

"Clearly. You are dismissed."

Hermione didn't want to anger him anymore so she quickly grabbed her bag again and left the dungeons. She had to tell Ginny what was going on. She wasn't exactly sure if she was terrified or thrilled to be living so close to the man and working with him for two years. She knew the boys would probably be furious, but in reality she knew that this was a great opportunity to achieve academic success.

She walked into the Gryffindor common room and instantly spotted Ron sitting on the sofa arguing with Ginny and Harry. She knew that it was about her and what happened at dinner. When she walked in, several Gryffindors looked at her wide-eyed.

"Hermione, where have you been?" Ginny asked.

"In Professor Snape's office."

"What for?" Harry asked suspiciously. "Did he give you another detention?"

"No, nothing like that. Headmistress McGonagall wants me to take an apprenticeship and Professor Snape was discussing the terms with me," she replied, glaring at Ron.

"Oh…well, Ron has something to say to you," Harry said, glaring at his friend who was quickly becoming red in the face.

"I'm sorry, Mione'. I shouldn't have called you any names," Ron said, looking at her but she could see the steely glint in his eyes.

"It's alright. I'm sorry I might have ignored you earlier. I just get into my work, that's all," she said uncertainly and walked over to Ginny.

"Right then," Harry said after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "So, what are you apprenticing in?"

"Potions."

"So you have to work the Greasy Git?" Ron asked in disgust.

"Yes, I have to work with _Professor_ Snape," she said firmly.

"Why?" Harry asked unhappily. Hermione looked at him and shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't know. He said he didn't want to take an apprentice but Headmistress McGonagall wanted me to be his apprentice. She wants me to start making the potions for the Infirmary," she replied.

"So this was McGonagall's idea?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Yeah."

"You sure you didn't ask to work with the, Git?" Ron asked earning a slap from his sister.

"No, Ronald, I did not. If you want to know the honest truth I originally told him 'no'," she said tiredly. Several people gasped.

"You told him 'no' to an apprenticeship?" Neville asked from across the room.

"Yes. I told him I didn't really want to work with him, but he said that the Headmistress is insisting that I do," she replied, knowing that they wouldn't guess the correct reason as to why she wanted to avoid the man.

"Oh," was all Ron said.

"I can't believe you were unwilling to take the offer at first," Harry said in disbelief.

"Yes well…Professor Snape is not exactly the easiest person to get along with it," she admitted. A couple of the students snickered in agreement while Hermione gave Ginny a glance before heading up to her rooms. The red-head knew that she wanted to talk to her.


	6. Chapter 5

**Love The Unloved**

**Chapter 5**

_Looking Deeper_

Harry and Ron had found out about Hermione having to move her quarters close to Professor Snape's in the dungeons and were not happy about. The three of them quarreled for quite some time about it until Hermione got fed up and screamed at them both that she had no other choice. Although they were angry, they didn't bring it up again.

Hermione noticed that she and her friends, with the exception of Ginny, were seemingly growing apart. She had been Professor Snape's apprentice for a little over a month now and she hardly had much time to do anything with her friends. Ginny was the only one that came to her rooms through a portrait passage connected to the seventh floor corridor.

It was now winter and the dungeons were becoming colder and colder. Hermione had to cast warming spells on herself, especially at night, just to walk down the corridor. The one thing she liked about her room in the dungeons however, was the view of the lake. It was quite relaxing to look out the window and see the water creatures swim by. She was also thrilled to know that she had a door that led right into Professor Snape's living room. He had made it clear that she was not permitted to use it, but it excited her to know that she could simply open the door and be in his rooms. The knowledge definitely gave her plenty to fantasize about.

The young Gryffindor was currently relaxing in her tub full of warm water and bubbles as she pictured the dour man bending her over his desk. Her hand caressed each nipple slowly before sliding down her flat stomach and between her legs. Hermione let out a soft gasp as she touched the delicate skin lightly, wishing it was her Potions Master.

Severus Snape glared at the clock and then the unfinished potion that Miss Granger was supposed to come back and work on. It had already simmered for its two days and was supposed to have the second half of ingredients added to it in the next twenty minutes.

_She should be here by now…_

Grinding his teeth, he stood up and walked through the passage that led to his rooms since her door was further down the dungeons corridor. He strode straight over to the door that connected to his, in which would lead to hers, and walked through without so much as a knock.

"Granger," he called in annoyance, but received no answer. Frowning, he walked to her little kitchen only to find that she wasn't there either. Severus moved toward her room warily and noticed that the door was open, but when he peaked inside, she was no where to be found. "Where the bloody hell is that silly girl?"

Before he had time to fully comprehend the situation, the bathroom door opened and a very wet and very nude Hermione Granger stepped out with her towel in hand. They both froze and stared at one another in shock. Hermione felt her face burn with embarrassment as Professor Snape stared at her nude body without saying a word. Before she could say anything he turned and left her rooms without so much as a whisper. It was another full minute before she had any kind of coherent thought and was able to move to her closet to get dressed. It was only when she was completely clothed did the reality of the situation come to her in full force.

"Oh god…he saw me naked!" she hissed. Her stomach was flipping as she left her rooms through the main entrance, not daring to go through his quarters, having never been allowed to, and walked to the lab entrance. To her surprise, Professor Snape was there at his desk marking essay's like nothing had happened.

"Your potion is about ready for its next ingredients," he said stonily.

"Sir?"

"What, Miss Granger?" he asked icily.

"I-I…um…well…" she stammered, not knowing what to say in her embarrassment. She watched the Professor sigh loudly, but avoid looking at her.

"Miss Granger, I assumed that you had forgotten about your potion so I went to your rooms to look for you. I did not intend to walk in on you in such a state of undress," he said. "Believe me, it is not an image I wish to have." Hermione couldn't help but feel a little hurt by his last statement.

"You don't have to make it sound like I'm disgusting," she said uncertainly.

"Seeing you nude is disgusting you silly child," he snapped. This time, her temper flared.

"After what you saw, it should be pretty clear that I am _not _a child!" she snapped viciously. This time he looked at her angrily.

"I did not intend to see you nude!" he sneered.

"I understand that but you don't have to insult me about it! If you think I'm disgusting, keep it to your bloody self! I know I'm not fucking pretty but you don't have to rub it in my face!" she about screamed, her eyes burning with tears as she turned and went to her potion leaving Professor Snape shocked and staring after her. Her feelings were hurt and she believed it justified her using foul language so she didn't bother to apologize for it.

Severus stared at the girl in disbelief, not knowing what exactly he should say. He had meant that seeing her naked was disgusting in the sense that she was his student, not in regards to her physical appearance. If he were honest with himself, he'd have to admit that the girl had the most beautiful body he had seen in who knew how long. She was as close to perfection as one could get in his eyes. Severus had to leave the room abruptly because of the reaction her nudity has caused his body.

"Miss Granger," he said as he stood up to approach her.

"Just leave me alone, you miserable man!" she snapped as she continued to work on her potion. After the last ingredient was added, she wiped her face of the tears that had fallen and turned the fire down to simmer again.

"Listen here! I am not a man whom you can talk to in such a manner," he snapped. Hermione whirled around to face him.

"So you can insult anyone you want but they can't say anything back, is that it?" she snarled.

"I did not insult you!"

"You did!"

"I did not! When I said 'seeing you was disgusting', I was referring to the fact that you are my student and it's inappropriate for me to see you in such a state. I in no way meant that you are not attractive," he snapped.

Hermione looked at him in silence for a moment, thinking over what he had just said. In some round about way, he admitted that he did not find her appearance to be disgusting. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she turned around to look at her potion list and see what needed to be made next.

"Do you want me to start these potions tonight?" she asked, changing the subject.

"No. Bottle the draught you finished tonight and you are dismissed," he replied, eying the curves of her body. He had to admit that the girl had filled out rather nicely since the last time he had seen her. Her breasts were certainly not big, but rather perfect handfuls and pert at that. Her hips flared out nicely giving her an hourglass figure and the neatly trimmed patch of hair between her legs clearly displayed that she was _not_ a child.

Hermione bottled her potion and cleaned her station before leaving the lab. She made sure to stay in her living room and wait to hear when Professor Snape would be entering his rooms.

It was a good two hours later before she heard his door open and close to his quarters. Her heart leapt into her throat as she set her book aside and crept to the door. She had done this on occasion to see what he would be doing but she never heard anything of interest. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she lay down on the floor and peeked under the door. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't help it. She saw his feet as he walked over to his chair and sat down with what she guessed was a glass of his usual fire-whiskey. Hermione frowned when she heard the click of something opening and then his low hiss. She heard it often, but never knew what it was.

_What is he doing?_

It wasn't long before she heard his snoring. Hermione felt her heart beating wildly in her chest as she stood and debated on what to do next. She knew that she should just go back to reading her book, but she wanted to look at him. Biting her lip, she swallowed down the lump in her throat and quietly turned the handle to her door. As she held her breath, she pushed the door open slowly.

Hermione listened to his soft snoring as she slowly crept into his quarters. The back of the chair he was sitting in was facing her so she couldn't see him unless she got within a foot or two of him. Licking her lips, she slowly approached him and with each step, her heart slammed in her chest. Once she got within a foot of the chair, she held her breath and peaked over the top of his chair. It took everything she had not to gasp aloud and she covered her mouth to make sure she didn't. His class lay empty in his hand with his sleeve rolled up. His arm was laced with scars and a fresh slice across his wrist. The dried blood trailed down his arm and to onto his hand and fingers. The blade he used to cut himself lay lifeless in his other hand.

He shifted in his chair, causing Hermione's heart to jump into her throat. She was about to back away when she heard him mumble under his breath. Frowning, Hermione crept a little closer to listen to him.

"Stop it…" he mumbled. Hermione's frown deepened. "Leave me be…father…please stop…" It was obvious that the pleading in his voice was one of agony. She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps his father used to beat him. He gasped suddenly and dropped the glass causing it to shatter. Hermione bolted for the door as her Professor startled and awoke. She was as silent as possible as she closed the door while watching through the crack as he looked around and stood up.

Hermione closed the door silently, but knew he had heard a faint click. She quickly raced to her trunk and opened it, pretending to be rummaging through it for something. She heard her door open, but didn't dare look toward him. Instead, she mumbled to herself to appear as though she was unaware of him.

"Where the hell are those pajamas?" she cursed as she pulled out several pairs of knickers and socks. Hermione picked up a pair of blue lace knickers and smiled. "I thought I'd lost these."

"Granger!"

The girl whirled around with her knickers in hand and stared at him wide-eyed. She noticed that he had rolled down his sleeve and now stood in her doorway, glaring at her suspiciously. She looked down at the knickers in her hand and felt her cheeks burn as she quickly put them behind her back. Hermione then narrowed her eyes.

"Don't you ever knock?" she asked sourly. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What were you doing a moment ago?" he asked.

"Looking for a pair of pajamas," she replied.

"You were not in my rooms?" he asked coldly as he eyed her with suspicion.

"No! I've been reading since I came back to my rooms and I was going to change for bed," she lied. "Why?" He seemed to think about it before drawing himself up to full height.

"No reason," he replied and left her rooms.

"Sir?" He stopped and turned to look at her.

"Are you alright?" she asked worriedly, stepping toward him.

"Why?" he hissed, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"Well…you're…you're…" she stammered, knowing that she was approaching a dangerous subject.

"Spit it out!" he snapped.

"You're bleeding, sir. Are you hurt?" Hermione pointed to his hand where the blood on his fingers was still evident. He seemed surprised that he had overlooked it, but quickly masked his expression to one of indifference.

"I merely cut my hand on a broken piece of glass. It is of no consequence," he said.

"Are you sure you don't need Madam Pomfrey?" she asked and saw his expression darken.

"No, I do not! Miss Granger, I warn you to tread carefully with me. Do mention anything that happens to me or in my life to anyone," he said dangerously.

"Oh…right…ok. I'm sorry…I didn't mean anything by it…I was just concerned," she said uncertainly and once again saw the faintest flicker of emotion in his otherwise dead expression.

"Don't be," he said and left her room.

Hermione felt her knees buckle and she collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath as she tried to get a hold of herself. She wondered what he would have done if he would have found out that she had seen what he had done to himself. Just the thought sent chills down her spine. It took her a couple of minutes before she could stand again and go to her room. She knew that her room was right next to Professor Snape's and she wondered if there was any way she could hear him through the walls.

"I am so stupid…" she mumbled as she walked into her room and placed her ear to the stone wall, but nothing could be heard. "This is madness…" Hermione walked back over to her bed and sat down, burying her face in her hands. It was hard to get rid of the image she held of his arms, marred by years of self-mutilation. She just couldn't understand why someone would do that to themselves, especially when that someone was Professor Snape.

Severus Snape pulled his journal out from underneath his bed and lay back against the headboard. Picking up his quill, he wrote the day's entry making sure to include the events of earlier with seeing his student naked. The journal was old and tattered from years of ownership. It was a magical journal that refilled its own pages and there were entries from the time he was eleven. The journal that he had kept before that when he was a little boy had fallen apart so he had magically inserted the pieces into the book he now had when he had learned the spell. The journal had his life carefully written out in detail right down to the last painful memory. It was his most valued possession aside from his wand because of the secrets it held. There were other things that he kept secret, but the journal was his greatest concern because it held emotion and detail. The _other_ things he had, he kept in a trunk beneath his bed to remind him of why he would never be worthy of love or a woman's touch. His self hatred was all he believed he had left.

_October 15__th __2005_

_ Today was like many other days with idiot children destroying cauldrons and ruining valuable school ingredients. I tire of students who are incapable of following the simplest instructions. The only student remotely capable of passing my class is Miss Granger. The girl can be annoying but strangely she has not pestered me with insane amounts of questions of blabbering thus far in her apprenticeship. I wonder what's making the girl keep to herself so much… She probably realized finally that I am not a social and talkative person like her ridiculous friends. I have also noticed that her friends seem to be drifting apart from her. Perhaps it is for the best. On another note, I did have a bit of an incident today. I thought perhaps Miss Granger had forgotten about her potion so I went to her rooms to find her only to walk in on her coming out of the shower. I must admit that I was speechless. The woman is absolutely gorgeous with wide hips and perfect breasts. I couldn't take my eyes off of her for quite some time before I walked out of the room. I haven't reacted to any woman in such a way before. The strange thing is, when she came into the lab to finish the potion I said that looking at her nude was disgusting in the sense that she is my student and a child and she became extremely angry with me. I call her a child to disassociate myself from her, but even she pointed out that from what I had seen, she was obviously not a child and she assumed that I was insulting her appearance. I actually made the girl cry and for once it was not my intention. She believed that she was unattractive and she told me that I shouldn't rub it in her face. I was shocked to discover that she actually thinks herself unattractive at all when she has such a beautiful figure and angelic face. I don't see why my opinion matters so much anyway when I am nothing more that a bitter old man with a horrifying past that I cannot seem to let go of. For once I didn't cut myself out of anger or because I was thinking about the past, I did it because after I looked upon Miss Granger's nude body I realized that I will never have a woman at my side who will love me as I am. There is not one person who would be able to see past the disgusting acts forced upon me by my mother and father. I had never really thought of it before but as I think about my young apprentice I realize that I will never be able to touch or taste her or anyone like her for that matter. I've always said 'love' was something I never believed in, but sometimes, on rare occasion, I wish I could experience it. I suppose I must be drunker than I thought to be writing such utter nonsense and wasting this page of parchment…_

_Severus Snape_

The Potions Master set the journal back into the drawer of his nightstand and looked around his room, wondering for a brief moment what Miss Granger was doing. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head, trying to clear the image of the girl from his mind. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to hate and be hated because that was all he knew. He had already tried having a friend once with Lily Evans and that had been disastrous once the red-head had found out what he had done to Sirius Black. It had been against Severus's will but Lily wouldn't believe him and after that fight, Potter and his mongrel friends had held him upside down, exposing his naked body to everyone. It was a part of him that he had always been ashamed of because of physical damage and it had been exposed to everyone and they had laughed and made fun of him. When Lily had made a feeble attempt at stopping Potter, Severus had called her a 'Mudblood' and that was the end of any continuing friendship. Since then, Severus shut the world out and he had made it his life goal not to let anyone back in. Ever.


	7. Chapter 6

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter6 **

Hermione couldn't help but be concerned for Professor Snape as days went on. Halloween had just past and it was now November and she had yet to tell Ginny about it. She didn't want to because if would be intruding on her Professor's personal life and also because of the threat he had given her. She wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Professor Snape had become nastier toward her during classes and even in her time in the lab so it made Hermione even more leery about voicing her concerns. However, she couldn't shake the horrible image of those scars from her mind and her overwhelming affection for the dour man weighed heavily on her decision.

She decided that she would ask Remus Lupin about his time in school with the Potions Master and see if he knew of anything useful. Hermione walked in to Professor Lupin's office and made sure that he was alone before daring to talk to him.

"Miss Granger or Hermione, if you prefer," he said warmly.

"Hermione, please, sir," she said politely and sat down across from him.

"Alright, Hermione, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"Well, sir, I have a couple of questions about someone but I cannot say why I am asking without the possibility of getting hexed by the person I am asking about," she said uncertainly causing Remus to raise a brow. He nodded his understand and locked his door and cast a silencing spell around the room.

"Who are you asking about? Ron? Harry, maybe?" he asked curiously.

"No…um…Professor Snape," she said and saw his face pale slightly.

"Hermione, I'm not sure I can answer personal questions about him not only because he is a Professor here but also because I don't know him that well," Remus said. Hermione nodded and bit her lip in thought before speaking.

"I know that I shouldn't be asking about him, but…in all honestly, I'm worried about him," she admitted.

"You are worried about him?" Remus asked in surprise.

"Yes…well…he's my…teacher and all…" she stammered and after a moment of him looking her over suspiciously and noticing the red tinge in her cheeks, understanding seemed to dawn on him.

"You…you have feelings for him," he gasped. Hermione's face blushed even further and she finally sighed loudly and slumped in her chair.

"Yes. It started out as a crush in second year and now…well now…it's more than that. A lot more," she conceded and looked up to see Remus staring at her wide-eyed. "Professor, I know that he is my teacher and it's inappropriate but it started out innocently enough. I thought it would go away but it hasn't. I'm nineteen now and at this point I've come to realize that these feelings are not going to go away easily if at all." There was a long period of uncomfortable silence before he spoke again.

"Wow," was all he said.

"I know. It's shocking. The only other person that knows about this is Ginny," she said looking up at him.

"He doesn't know?"

"I bloody hope not," Hermione blurted. Remus gave a small smile and nodded.

"I am a bit surprised. I have never had anyone tell me that they like Severus in such a way," he replied.

"I can't help it."

"So why are you concerned about him? Does he seem ill to you?" Remus asked curiously.

"No…not in the way of being sick," she said uncomfortably.

"Then what way do you mean?" Remus asked, folding his arms on his desk and leaning forward to look at her. Hermione took a deep breath and licked her lips, feeling that she was in a way betraying the man's trust. She told Remus about what Professor Snape had said when she had mentioned his parents and saw his expression darken.

"Please don't say anything to him about this, but our rooms are connected and…well…I snuck into room his while he was passed out in his chair…"

"Hermione! Are you crazy?" he gasped.

"I know! I know! It was wrong…"

"It's not just that but if he would have caught you…I know him well enough to know that he is a dangerous man and I can't even begin to imagine what he would have done if he caught you," Remus said, shaking his head.

"I don't want to picture it…look, he doesn't know what I saw or heard. He was bleeding, Remus and I can't tell you why, but he was also mumbling in his sleep," she said. Remus nodded and sighed.

"I take it when it comes to the bleeding, you're referring to the self-mutilation he does," he stated rather than asked.

"You know?" she gasped in astonishment.

"I know of some of it. Lily had told me about seeing some of it once and even then he denied it to her. I have also seen some of the scars he has, but he is not aware that I know anything. I didn't think he still did it, however."

"Well…yeah…I guess he does. It's just that he was mumbling in his sleep about his father. He kept saying 'stop it' and he looked like he was in a lot of pain," Hermione said, feeling the tears burn her eyes as she remembered the agony in his expression. "I've been trying to keep it to myself but I'm so worried about him. I can't get it out of my head."

"You really care for him, don't you?" he asked softly, watching as she brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"Yes. I think…I think I'm in love with him…and I know it sounds silly because I don't know him, but I don't know what else to call it unless it's an obsession," she said.

"I don't think love is silly, Hermione and I do not doubt you care very deeply for him. You have always been very level headed and the kind of person who thinks things through so I know you are not using the term lightly," Remus said kindly, looking at the young woman before him in a new light. It wasn't everyday you met someone that would be willing to brave having affections for the bitter Potions Master.

"I don't want to intrude into his personal life, but I can't deny what I saw and I want to know how to approach him. He won't talk to anyone," Hermione said quietly.

"No, he won't. I do not want him to know that I am talking about him like this, Hermione, but I will tell you the little that I know. I trust you will not speak about this to anyone, including Ginny," he said pointedly.

"I understand, Remus, besides _I_ don't want Professor Snape to know either because I am sure he'll kill us both."

"Most likely," Remus conceded. "Well, from what Lily had told me once, Severus had a habit of cutting himself. He had denied it to her, but she had seen the marks on his arms."

"Did…did Harry's mum and Professor Snape have…a romantic relationship?" she asked, feeling a tinge of jealousy.

"No, they didn't. Severus and Lily were good friends and at one point I thought he might have held some affection for her, but Lily never felt that way about him. Don't get me wrong, I love Lily and she was such a compassionate woman, but she did have her flaws as most people do. I do not know exactly what happened, but something occurred between Sirius Black and Severus that Lily did not approve of."

"Do you have any idea what it was?" she asked and saw a pained expression on his face.

"I do…but I do not feel comfortable discussing it," he said and she nodded in understanding. "I know that whatever it was it made Lily distance herself from Severus. Then of course, you might have heard from Harry about how he had called her a 'mudblood' and that was the end of that friendship."

"Yes, I heard about that," she said softly wondering if that was how Professor Snape viewed her.

"The thing is…Lily had told me once that she suspected that Severus's parents were abusive. He may appear to be a strong and callous man but that is his defensive mechanism. Severus has never been close to anyone except for Lily and even then, she did not know everything about him. When James held him upside down and…removed his trousers for everyone to see…he became violent after that and more withdrawn from everyone around him."

"Well, I can understand that he was embarrassed…"

"Oh yes, Severus was embarrassed and ashamed. It is not just the fact that everyone saw him exposed, Hermione. Severus has a disfigurement that several students made fun of him for and that was another thing that caused him to be so reclusive," Remus said seriously.

"A disfigurement?" Hermione asked uncertainly.

"Yes. He was injured somehow and he had a scar that runs down his abdomen and onto his…well you know. Anyway, everyone saw it and being a man of pride it shames him. Men tend to be very subconscious when it comes to their…manhood," he said, turning scarlet.

"Is the scarring bad?" she asked curiously.

"Yes. I assume that he is still functional, but I do not know for sure. Still, it's probably one of the main reasons he has never had any sexual relationships," Remus pointed out, sitting back in his chair.

"Has he ever had…any?" Hermione asked.

"No, I don't believe so, but I don't think he was ever in a relationship of any kind. Hermione, I hope you know that Severus is a very dangerous man. I know he was innocent in the killing of Albus Dumbledore, but that doesn't mean he is safe to be around. If you ever embark on any kind of relationship with him, be careful. He's still a prime suspect in the death of his father," Remus said.

"What? His father is dead?" she asked in shock.

"Yes. He was brutally murdered when Severus was about eighteen years old. It happened right around the time he joined the Death Eaters. No one knows the details but it is suspected that he was the murderer or the accomplice in it, but no one has been able to prove it. Now, the only reason I am telling you this is because you admitted to having affections for him and you need to know what you're getting yourself into. I don't know the details other than what I told you, but I suspect that Severus's childhood is far more traumatic than anyone knows and that is why he acts the way he does," Remus said. Hermione nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Thank you for telling me. I'll make sure it is not repeated," she said sincerely and stood up to leave. Remus stood as well and walked around the desk to stand before her.

"I can only hope that one day Severus will open his heart to someone and I hope that someone is you. I see no better match," he said and gave her a hug.

"Thank you, Remus," she smiled and left the office.

Hermione was clearly distracted when she walked down the halls, thinking about everything that she had been told. She couldn't help but think about Professor Snape's disfigurement, wondering how bad it really was and how he might have gotten it.

"Mione!" The Gryffindor turned to see Ron coming toward her.

"Hi, Ron," she said. "What are you doing?"

"I was coming to see what you were doing later on tonight," he said.

"I'll be working on some more potions for the Infirmary."

"Doesn't the 'git' ever give you a break?" he asked sourly.

"He is not a 'git' and yes I do have days off, but today is not one of them. It's part of my apprenticeship, Ron," she said in annoyance.

"Well, whatever. Anyway, Mione, I was wondering if you would go out with me some time," he said, watching her reaction which at the moment looked confused.

"What do you mean?" This time his face turned red.

"You know…like…on a date," he stammered and realization hit her. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an 'O'.

"Ron…I…I don't know," she said uncertainly not wanting to hurt his feelings but also not willing to lead him on.

"Well…I think we can be good together…you know…we could go out for a while. Mum thinks we would be good for each other and now that we're getting older we should settle down," Ron said.

Hermione felt her stomach churn uncomfortably and her heart skip a beat as she pictured herself being forced to raise a bunch of little red-heads and give up her schooling. It was apparent that Ron had already planned a marriage and a family without even giving her feelings a second thought.

"Ron, I know we've been friends for a long time and we've been through a lot together, but…I don't think we're very compatible," she said as gently as she could.

"Why not?" he asked, his expression becoming dark.

"We're too different. You like quidditch and I like books, you want a family and I want an education, not to mention we fight all the time," she said.

"You don't want a family? Are you crazy?" Ron asked, aghast.

"Not right now…maybe eventually, but that's not the point. I love you as a friend…but that's it."

"You could learn to love me," Ron argued. Hermione felt stuck until she saw Professor Snape approaching on the other side of the corridor. The man raised his dark eyes to look at them, his expression blank.

"No I couldn't, Ron. We are better off as friends," she said softly.

"That's not true! There is someone else, isn't there?" he snapped.

"It wouldn't matter either way! We were never together and we cannot be together," she replied, becoming angry fast.

"Who is he? I have a right to know!" Ron yelled.

"No, you don't have a right to pry into my personal life! I'm sorry, Ron, but I don't see you the way you apparently see me," she snapped.

"We were meant to be together!" he yelled getting in her face and surprising her.

"Ron, I have to go," she said, feeling uneasy when she looked into his steely blue eyes.

"No, you don't!"

"Yes, I do! I…I have to go with Professor Snape," she said, knowing the man had heard most of the argument.

"What?" Ron asked and turned to see Snape glaring at them. Hermione swallowed and looked at him pleadingly.

"Miss Granger, come along before you are late and I deduct points," he sneered and looked at the red-head. "As for, Mr. Weasley, that will be ten points for yelling in the halls. Keep your personal life to yourself."

"I'm sorry, Ron," Hermione said and walked with Professor Snape.

"I'm going to find out who it is, Hermione!" Ron snapped before turning the corner to avoid having more points taken.

Professor Snape looked at the girl and raised a brow, but she only glanced his way and followed him down to the dungeons even though she wasn't due there for another three hours. He didn't bother saying anything else, but he was now curious to who it was she was fantasizing about if it hadn't been the Weasley boy.

Once they were in his office, he opened the door that led to his labs and walked in behind her. She didn't bother saying anything but instead went immediately to work on the potions she needed to finish for the night.

"Miss Granger, you do realize that you're early, do you not?" he asked, sitting behind his lab desk and reclining in his chair.

"Yes, I know, but I don't want to be around Ron right now," she replied without even looking at him.

"Not even to go for dinner?"

"No. I'd rather have a house-elf bring me something later," she replied.

Professor Snape watched the girl from behind his desk, noting the way her hips swayed when she walked and the way she carried herself. She had the same confidence that he had at Potion making as she barely glanced at the instructions and set out to make the potion, knowing already what she needed to do. It was several minutes before he took his eyes off of her and began to chart out his weekly class schedule and distract himself from thinking about the Gryffindor know-it-all.


	8. Chapter 7

***READ THIS WARNING!***

**_ I feel like I must reiterate that this story will BECOME extremely graphic in not only a violent and sexual way, but also in a sick and twisted one as well. I have had complaints with my last version of it that was up and my only response is: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT! This story is meant to be sick, twisted, and downright disturbing in some parts, with love mixed into it all and while there are happy parts, there are some pretty fucked up parts as well. Heed the warning. I will not change the story this time to comfort people who do not like where it is heading. This story will not be edited so if you see a part you don't like then skip it. Thanks!_**

**_*This chapter is safe however*  
_**

p

P

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 7**

By the third week of November, Hermione was anxious to find out more about Professor Snape. Luckily, she would be staying for the holidays and would be able to devote some time to research. In the mean time, she kept a careful watch of him to see if he acted any differently. Ever since Remus had told her about Professor Snape's disfigurement, she couldn't help but glance in that general direction. She was grateful for the fact that the few times he had caught her staring, she had been admiring some other part of his body.

Hermione was currently waiting for her potions to finish brewing and staring at her Professor as he added ingredients to one of his experimental potions. She watched as his spidery fingers sprinkled the ingredients carefully into the cauldron while his face held an expression of extreme concentration. He wore his usual black trousers with a crisp white shirt tucked into them, finally coming to the lab without his coat on. She did notice, however that he made sure not to roll his sleeves up.

"Miss Granger, do you find something fascinating?" he snapped irritably.

"Yes," she blurted before she could think about it. That caused him to look at her with a brow raised.

"And what, pray tell is that?" he asked hauntingly.

"The way you work confidently even with experimental potions," she said, hoping that it had been a good enough response.

"Hmm…" was all he said, but watched her as he stirred the potion. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze and turned away, looking instead at the cracks in the stone floor.

"Sir, are you staying for the holidays?" she asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Of course I am," he said coldly. "What else am I going to do?" Hermione looked back up at him to see him focused on his potion again.

"Usually people spend time with their loved ones during the holidays," she said sarcastically. He glared at her.

"Sarcasm doesn't become you and I was under the impression that you knew I have no loved ones," he replied casually, but his tone was laced with venom.

"Oh…I didn't think about that," she said softly.

"Indeed. Being that the holiday break is near, you will be given the time off from your apprenticeship. I suppose you are going to be spending your holidays with Potter and Weasley," he said.

"No. I am going to visit my parents for a couple of days and then I am coming right back because they are going to Hawaii for vacation," she replied.

"Hmm…there will be hardly any students here during the holidays. You'll be rather bored I imagine," he said. Hermione was a little confused as to how he spoke to her because his tone was rather cold, but he seemed almost conversational. It made her afraid to say anything to him.

"Well…I was hoping that maybe I could help you during the holidays," she said, her heart beating wildly. He stopped what he was doing and turned to face her, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Help me with _what_ exactly?" he asked icily.

"I don't know…some of your experiments, maybe? Or with essay's that need to be marked…I don't know…just something to keep me busy," she said uncertainly. "I figured since I'm going to be here, you could use it to your advantage and it would keep me from being bored." It took a moment of him eying her before he replied.

"I suppose I could find something for you to do," he said with a tone of mild suspicion.

"Really? Good, because I thought that I was going to be spending all my time in the library," she said in relief.

"I was under the impression that was where you liked to spend most of your time," he replied, raising an elegant brow.

"Well, I do but I have already read every book in the library that was worth something. The only ones I have yet to get a hold of are in the Restricted Section," she said with a shrug.

"Ambitious, are we?"

"So what? You seem like someone who's ambitious," she blurted, thinking that he had been insulting her.

"Do I? Ambitious at what?" he asked, knowing that he was just trying to start a fight with her.

"Education. There is no way you know as much as you do and are as intelligent as you are without being ambitious," she said in annoyance.

"Indeed. Miss Granger, I was not implying that being ambitious was a terrible thing," he said pointedly. Hermione sniffed and pursed her lips.

"Well, I can never tell if you're being negative about the things you say or not because you always sound so cold about it," she said softly, looking at him.

"That is my nature. Surely, you are aware of this by now," he replied evenly.

"Well yes..." she conceded. "Sir, why are you always so mean? I mean, people might be more inclined to get along with you if you were…nicer."

"Stepping out of line again, are we?" he asked, bottling his potion and setting it on the shelf.

"I'm not trying to," she replied with a huff.

"I have no reason to be _nice._ People do not like me and that is the bottom line, do you understand?" he growled.

"I like you," she said. He turned to look at her, his brows furrowed. "You know…you're an excellent teacher and all…"

"Naturally. I must admit that I am shocked," he said, fully facing her and leaning against the table. Hermione snorted and looked him over, feeling the warmth spread throughout her body.

"I don't see why. You're not completely unlikable," she said. This time he let out humorless and bitter laugh.

"Miss Granger, you must not be as intelligent as I thought," he said, shaking his head. The young Gryffindor huffed.

"You know, if you were a little nicer you might have a bunch of girls with that teacher crush," she said and heard him snort. "What? Girls tend to like men like you." He laughed again and shook his head.

"This is the most amusement I have gotten in years so please continue," he said with a smirk on his face despite the cold glint in his eyes.

"Well…a lot of girls like men who are tall and dark…and well you are very…tall, you have the whole dark and mysterious thing going on and…your lean…girl's like men who are fit…" she said feeling her face burn as she fumbled with the hem of her skirt.

"Indeed."

"It's true!"

"Miss Granger, there are many men in this world who are tall and dark," he said pointedly.

"So? You're handsome," she said and swallowed as she looked up at his disbelieving face.

"I will be taking you to St. Mungo's as soon as this conversation is over, Miss Granger," he said. Hermione rolled her eyes. "However, since I am obviously in dire need of amusement, please enlighten me as to what you find handsome about me." Hermione could tell that he was mocking her, but she figured she might as well tell him since she had already come this far.

"Well, I already said you have a nice frame, you're lean and you have…nice long legs. You have a strong face and nice jaw line. You're pale skin is a nice contrast to the dark hair and you have beautiful dark eyes…although with your expression half the time you can be frightening. You have a very proportionate face and you have really nice long eyelashes," she pointed out.

"You've gone as far as to look at my eyelashes?" he asked, giving her a look of disbelief.

"Well…yes. Many girls want to have long eyelashes like yours…I know I wish I did," she huffed. "You also have a nice mouth-"

"Don't!" he suddenly snapped, nearly causing her to fall off the stool. Hermione looked at him in shock at his sudden outburst.

"What? What did I say?"

"This conversation is over," he snarled and walked back to his desk.

"You didn't say anything until I commented on your-"

"If you comment on my mouth again, I will hex you into oblivion," he snapped.

"This is what I am talking about. If you were nicer, people would like you more," she said without thinking. She earned a deadly glare for that one.

"I have not ever been nor will I ever be some school girl's silly _crush_ and I think this conversation has strayed into dangerous territory enough already."

"It's not silly."

"There is no one in their right mind who would have a crush on a bitter old man like me," he said coldly.

"I did." Everything went silent and Hermione felt her eyes practically bulging out of the sockets as she looked at Professor Snape who was staring at her in almost the same amount of shock.

"What did you say?" he asked dangerously.

"Nothing. I said…I need to finish my potion," she said quickly and rushed to her station so she didn't have to look at him.

"Do not try and deny what you said, Miss Granger," Snape said in a low and frightening voice as he walked slowly toward her.

"I didn't mean to…I'm sorry. Look, I had a crush on you during my second year…" she said and turned around to see him standing over her. Hermione stumbled back, bumping into the table in the process. "Um…I didn't see you come over here."

"Obviously. Tell me, Granger, do you and your friends joke about this? Do you have a good laugh about how you took pity and developed a crush on the _Greasy Bat_ of the dungeons?" he snarled.

"No! Actually no one knew…except Ginny," Hermione said, trying to keep to herself about how the crush had developed into something more.

"Am I to understand that Potter and Weasley never knew?" he asked and saw her eyes widen.

"No way! Even if they found out twenty years from now they'd probably disown me!" she gasped.

"Tell me, Granger, why in the name of Merlin would you have ever had a crush on me?" he asked with a frown.

"I…I've always thought you were very intelligent and I've always admired your strength. I think you're handsome even though you're kind of a…well…you're not very nice," she said, swallowing hard.

"I'm an asshole, isn't that what you wanted to say?" he asked coldly, placing his arms on either side of her and bracing against the table.

"Well…I…I'm not going to say it because you'll just take points away," she said feeling her breath quicken as she stared into his obsidian eyes.

"Probably, but I could take points anyway," he said softly, his voice sending chills down her spine.

"You know…one of these days…you're going to pin a woman against the table like this and she's going to end up kissing you for being too close to her," Hermione said daringly, knowing that she was probably testing his patience. She had never felt bold enough to say anything like that to this man until now.

"If a woman ever dared to do such a thing to my person I would kill her," he growled, glaring at her menacingly.

"Are you serious?" she asked, feeling her heart plummet. "Don't you want…to be…with someone?"

"Miss Granger…you have managed to push your nose into my personal life a bit too much this year," he said silkily, his voice deadly. "Why do you keep asking me questions of this nature?"

"I don't know. I was just curious. I mean…most men want to...be with someone that cares about them…and be kissed…and loved," she said, swallowing as she tried to control her breathing and the wetness between her legs.

"I am not most men. I like my solitude and my privacy. When are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut and your nose out of my business?" he asked coldly.

"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly as she felt his breath against her face. "I just…can't help it."

"Do you inquire about your other Professors? Do you intrude into their personal business?"

"You hate me, don't you?" she blurted. He seemed momentarily taken back by her question and frowned at her.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. It matters to me," she said and found that the temptation to kiss him was becoming almost too great.

Severus was so close to the woman that he could feel her breath tickling his face. He couldn't help but feel a compulsion to take her lips and devour her mouth, but he was fairly sure that she was playing games with him. He was almost positive that she was conspiring with her friends to make a fool of him like so many people had done before.

"I think that you need to stay away from me, Miss Granger, before you get hurt. I do not need your sympathies nor do I want them. Keep your pity to yourself and refrain from practical jokes as your little inquiries surely have been," he said coldly.

"I didn't-"

"Silence! I will not tolerate you interfering in my life. Mind your own damn business and leave me the hell alone! I want nothing to do with you!" he snapped and backed away from her.

Hermione felt embarrassment wash over her as she realized how she must look to him now. He probably thought that she was nothing more than a tramp trying to get his attentions because no one else had been able to. Tears burned her eyes, but she was a Gryffindor and she was determined to get through to him no matter how much it hurt. It was apparent that Severus Snape was probably the most untrusting person she had ever met and she was going to work hard to gain his trust.


	9. Chapter 8

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 8**

Hermione had missed her parents and was glad to see them, but she was excited to get back to Hogwarts. She tried to tell herself that it was the prospect of helping Professor Snape rather than being near him but deep down she knew the truth to that. Once she had said her goodbyes to her parents, she apparated to the Leaky Cauldron where Ginny was waiting for her.

"There you are!" Ginny squealed excitedly.

"Hey, Ginny!" Hermione said and smiled at Harry who came up behind the red-head. Her friends had disagreed with her moving close to Professor Snape's quarters, but after a while, Harry had come around and started talking to her again.

"Are you guys ready to do some Christmas shopping?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes, let's go," Hermione said anxiously. "Where's Ron?"

"He's with mum. We got into an argument earlier and told him that it was better that he went with her rather than us," Ginny replied uneasily.

"Why? What happened?" Hermione asked as they walked to the stone wall that would lead to Diagon Alley.

"He keeps insisting that you are dating someone when you were meant for him and we finally got tired of hearing about it," Harry said, eying her.

"I'm not dating anyone," Hermione sighed and shook her head. "I just don't look at him that way."

"Don't worry, we understand," Ginny said and the three of them began walking toward the many shops.

"Where to first?" Ginny asked.

"I'm going to the Quidditch shop," Harry said immediately.

"I need to go and get some things for Potions," Hermione said.

"Always with the academics," Harry joked and headed off to the Quidditch shop with Ginny right behind him.

"Meet us back here, Hermione," Ginny called.

Hermione walked into the familiar shop and took in the scent of all the different potions ingredients. It was one of her favorite places aside from the book shop. Walking down the row of shelves she found the ingredients she was looking for and brought them to the counter to be purchased. Once they were wrapped, she put the parcels in her side pack and left the store, walking across the way to Madam Malkin's.

As soon as Hermione entered she went straight to the men's section of winter cloaks and looked them over. There were several that were nice, but not quite what she was looking for. Frowning, she looked at one of the associates behind the counter.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, dear, how can I help you?" she asked politely.

"I am looking for winter cloak for someone, but I think it might have been custom made," Hermione said uncertainly.

"Do you know what the material was?" she asked.

"I thought it was wool…"

"Perhaps the man is a customer of ours. What is his name?" she asked.

"Um…it's for Professor Snape," Hermione replied.

"Snape? As in Severus Snape?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes. I burned his winter cloak a couple of years ago and I would like to replace it," Hermione said, noticing the uncomfortable expression on the woman's face.

"But…he's…he's a-"

"He is not a murderer, madam. He was order by Dumbledore himself to do what he did because the Headmaster was already dying. Please, I would just like to buy another cloak if you do not mind. I need to be getting back to the school soon," she said firmly.

"Of course, of course. Forgive me, madam, I did not mean to offend," the woman said and summoned the records of Professor Snape's prior purchases. After a minute of looking, the clerk found what she was looking for. "Here it is. It was black…oh…one of our finer wools with an expensive silk lining. The man has taste. His measurements…he is six foot and two inches tall…hmm…"

"Do you have one that matches? Actually, did he ever purchase another one?" Hermione asked.

"There is no record of him purchasing another one like it. It appears that he purchased one of lesser value a couple of years back, but if I remember right, it was because we didn't have his favorite material. He wasn't very happy about it," the woman said.

"Well, do you have one like it now?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. We have the material and we can have one ready within an hour. We have his measurements here. This cloak cost seven galleons…are you sure you want to purchase it?"

"Yes, please. I will pay for it right now," Hermione said and pulled her money from her purse.

Once the cloak had been paid for, she left the shop and saw Ginny walking toward her with a bag already in hand. Hermione could see Harry further back walking with Ron and Mrs. Weasley, thankfully away from her. She didn't feel like dealing with Ron at the moment. The two girls headed down the row of shops by themselves, talking about what gifts they would be buying for everyone.

"So, you're really buying Professor Snape a new cloak?" Ginny asked.

"Yes. I owe him one anyway," she replied.

"Maybe you'll melt his cold heart," Ginny laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes and walked into another store with her friend.

"Look at this sweater," Hermione said, picking up a beautiful cream cashmere sweater that fell off the shoulders.

"Oooh, that would look so nice on you," Ginny said and then lowered her voice. "Buy it and then wear it for Snape and make sure you don't wear a bra." Hermione gasped and swatted her friend's arm, not being able to stop laughing at Ginny's boldness.

"I think I will buy this one," Hermione said and continued to look around the shop with her new sweater in hand.

"Look at these," Ginny said, pointing to a section of casual shirts.

"Those are nice. This store is new isn't it?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, it's a muggleborn woman who owns it," Ginny said, selecting one of the pale blue shirts.

"That will explain why the clothing looks similar to muggle clothes," Hermione said, admiring a long sleeved grey shirt.

"You know, you should get some nice muggle slacks and some heels to go with that sweater and walk around the castle with it during the holidays. See if you can catch Snape's eye by looking more adult," Ginny said, giggling softly when she saw Hermione's face flush scarlet.

Hermione walked around the store until she found a section with pants and skirts of all kinds. Biting her lip, she glanced at Ginny and wondered if maybe the girl was right. She certainly believed that she would look more mature if she were to wear something other than the school uniforms and maybe that would be a good way to get Professor Snape to notice her as a woman and not a schoolgirl. Making up her mind, she grabbed a few of the pants and two skirts she liked before making her way over to the shoes.

"I see you might be taking my advice," Ginny said, smirking.

"Yes, well, you had a good point. I can't go walking around in school clothes all the time because if I do he won't separate the student from the woman," Hermione said and looked at the different shoes.

"Let me help with this!" Ginny squealed and pulled a few heels off the shelf. Hermione looked at the girl warily, knowing that she was going to make her try on every single one of them that she had taken down. Hermione sat down and watched as Ginny compared certain heals to the clothes she had picked out before motioning for Hermione to try them on.

It was almost an hour later before Hermione finally had three new shirts, one sweater, two skirts, three pairs of pants, a pair of high-healed shoes, a pair of knee high healed boots, and a pair of beautiful deep brown, suede snow boots that came to mid-calf and had faux fur around the top. Hermione looked at all her purchases and shook her head. Ginny was giving her a big toothy grin.

"It had to be all of this, didn't it?" she asked. "The one sweater I wanted wasn't enough, huh?"

"Of course not," Ginny said, patting her back as the clerk bagged all her purchases. "You want to impress him, don't you?"

"This better work," Hermione said.

"Don't worry, he'll notice even if he doesn't say anything," Ginny said, smiling as they walked out with their handful of bags.

"At least I have plenty of knickers to go with all of these," Hermione mumbled. Ginny snickered.

"It makes it easier that you have perky breasts otherwise you would have had to buy a whole lot of matching bras."

Hermione and Ginny walked back to Madam Malkin's and approached the clerk. The woman noticed them and immediately went to the back to retrieve the cloak that Hermione had bought for the Hogwarts Potions Master.

"Is this to your liking?" she asked politely.

"Yes, it is. Thank you very much," Hermione replied and watched the woman fold it neatly and place it in a box for her.

"Is this a gift or were you just considering it a replacement for the one you said you ruined?" the woman asked curiously.

"Oh, well…I guess it could be considered a gift," she said uncertainly.

"Yes, make it a gift," Ginny cut in. "He probably never receives them."

"Ok, then…it's a gift," Hermione said with a shrug.

"Very good. Would you like me to wrap it?" the clerk asked.

"Sure."

"Do you have a preference to the color of the wrapping?"

"Slytherin colors. Green and silver, please," Hermione replied promptly.

"Alright, give me one moment."

After Hermione had gotten her wrapped gift, she thanked the woman and left with Ginny. She knew that the boys would question her about a Slytherin colored package so she slipped the box into one of her bags, hoping that no one noticed it.

"I don't know about you, Mione', but I am hungry," Ginny said and waved to her mother who was a few blocks up from them.

"I'm getting there," Hermione admitted. "I still have to get something for Harry and Ron."

"Make sure that whatever you get Ron is not personal because we don't want him taking it the wrong way," Ginny said quietly as they got closer to her mum.

"How are you girls doing?" Molly asked, smiling at them.

"Great. We still have a bit more shopping to do, but we're almost done," Ginny said happily.

"Good. Good. Well, let's grab a bite to eat and we'll continue on," Molly suggested and motioned for them to follow.

Hermione noticed that Ron watched her every move and it was beginning to make her uncomfortable. Swallowing hard, she made sure to completely ignore him and pretend as though everything was alright. She also made sure to stick close to Ginny.

Lunch at the Leaky Cauldron was relaxing enough. Hermione had made it a point to sit at the end of the table and next to Ginny so that Ron couldn't sit next to her. Instead, he ended up sitting across from her which annoyed her to no end because she hated it when people watched her eat. Once they had finished eating, Hermione stood up and gathered her bags as Ginny kissed Harry and prepared to go on the second half of their shopping trip.

"Hermione, dear, how are you?" Molly asked, coming up along side her.

"Oh, um…I'm fine," she said uncertainly.

"I heard that you and Ron are not talking much. I hope everything is alright," she said kindly. It was almost too kindly for Hermione's liking.

"We're fine. Ron just has this idea of us getting married and starting a family when we are not even dating," Hermione said warily.

"Well, give it time, dear. You'll see that you two are meant to be together. You just have to think about Ron too and not just yourself," she said with a smile and walked away, leaving Hermione to stare after her in disbelief.

"Are you ready, Hermione?" Ginny asked and noticed the expression on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you in a little bit," she replied.

As Hermione and Ginny shopped for the other gifts, Hermione told her what Molly had said about her and Ron. Ginny was furious with her mother. She told Hermione not to worry about it and that Ron would just have to get over it and so would their mother. Hermione made sure to take Ginny advice and not buy anything personal for Ron. Instead, she simply bought him some memorabilia for the Chudley Canons.

After several hours of shopping for Christmas gifts, Hermione was glad to be back at the castle. She had loads of bags that she was dying to drop off in her rooms. She was also anxious to take a shower and try on some of her new clothes. Hermione entered her rooms and smiled at the Christmas tree that she had placed in her room. It was only a six foot tree, but she had wanted to have her own tree lighting up her living room. It was one of the things that she had always loved about Christmas. She had decorated the tree with burgundy, beige, and silver decorations and multicolored lights.

Hermione pulled the Slytherin wrapped box from her bag and placed it underneath the tree, smiling. She hoped that he would appreciate the gift despite the fact that he was obviously not a cheerful person. Deciding to wait on her shower, Hermione pulled all her gifts from the bags and began to the tedious task of wrapping them. After a good two hours of wrapping, she had a nice pile underneath the tree.

The only things she had left were her new clothes and the parcels with the potions ingredients in them. After a moment of consideration, she picked up the parcels and walked out into the dungeon corridor that would take her straight to the lab where Professor Snape was most likely working. When she opened the door, he was behind his desk, but there was something about him that raised her suspicion. He sent her an icy glare and she pretended not to notice him rolling his sleeves back down to cover his arms.

"Hi, Professor," she said softly.

"You are not due back here until tomorrow night," he snarled.

Hermione knew that he was angry because she had nearly caught him doing something that he shouldn't have been doing, but she acted as though nothing was wrong. Stepping into the lab, she walked up to his desk and set the parcels in front of him. She could see the confusion in his eyes as he looked them over and then looked at her questioningly.

"What are these?"

"Just something I owed you. I figured I'd get them while I was in Diagon Alley today," she said. "I'll leave you alone now." With that, Hermione turned and walked out of the lab in thought wondering why he would be cutting himself if that was indeed what he had been doing. What drove him to do it?

Professor Snape looked at the parcels again and after a moment of indecision; he began to open them. He looked inside to find Boomslang skin and Lacewing flies. His brows shot up as he realized that his apprentice had gone out and bought the items that she had once stolen from him. Swallowing, he picked them up and put them into his personal stores. He was surprised that she had gone out and done this for him when he hadn't bothered to make her repay him for it. Severus gave a small smile as he left the storeroom and thought about the young Gryffindor.


	10. Chapter 9

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 9**

It was the first day of the holidays where there would be next to no students at Hogwarts. Hermione was relieved that she no longer had to conform to wearing the school uniform. Hermione made sure that she had used her new hair products to make it sleek and curled rather than frizzy and massive and then clipped it in a half ponytail with her jewel studded clip. She had put on her new cream sweater that fell off of her shoulders and her new pair of black slacks that were fitted and rested low on her hips. To finish off her look she wore the new black opened toed heals and the tiniest amount of lip gloss since she didn't care for extreme amounts of makeup.

Hermione looked herself over in the mirror and took a deep breath. While the students were gone was probably her best chance at impressing Professor Snape, if that was even possible, and she was determined to at least try. Hermione quickly grabbed her book, _Dangerous Potions of the Wizarding World,_ and left her room in hopes that Professor Snape would be prowling about.

The young Gryffindor slowly walked the corridors with her nose in her book until she came across the Transfiguration class where McGonagall still taught even as Headmistress. Hermione couldn't help but over hear the Headmistress and Madam Pomfrey talking and normally she would pay it no mind but when she heard Professor Snape's name, she had snapped to attention.

"Poppy, I am very concerned about Severus. I just don't know what to do with him," Minerva said.

"Minerva, you know that he has always been a difficult person even as a student and there isn't anything we can do about it. If my suspicions about him are correct then I have no idea how to help him especially after all these years."

"Perhaps, we need to discuss it with him," Minerva suggested.

"No…I don't think that's a very good idea. When he had been admitted to the Infirmary during the beginning of his fourth year, I examined him and found evidence, of what I believed, was severe physical and sexual abuse and when I told him what I suspected, he lost it. I had never been so frightened in my life and he was not even fourteen at the time. Can you imagine him now?" Poppy said.

Hermione was standing outside the door with her hand over her mouth and her heart beating wildly. Now she had an idea of what Professor Snape had gone through and it was even more horrible than she could possibly have imagined. Several things were running through her head and she wondered if his self-mutilation was because he really was sexually abused.

"I don't want to imagine how he would react," Minerva said tiredly. "Do you know for sure if he endured sexual abuse?"

"No, not for sure. The evidence I found certainly points in that direction, but he would never tell me anything so I couldn't confirm my suspicions, but let me tell you…the injuries that I had to heal were atrocious. I don't know what he went through but whatever it was has surely turned that little boy into the man he is today," Poppy said.

"This is just so difficult. I cannot let him get away with the way he treats his students, but I feel so…bad for him that I do not want to confront him," Minerva sighed.

"He has not been _as_ terrible as he usually is. Perhaps having Miss Granger as his apprentice has helped in a way. He certainly needed the company."

"Yes, I know. That was one of the main reasons for me demanding the apprenticeship with him. I suppose we'll just have to see what happens. Hopefully, everything will work out for the best. When I stop receiving complaints from parents, I'll know there has been improvement," Minerva said. "Let's be off, shall we?"

Hermione took off as quietly as she could around the corner and then turned around and acted as though she had just arrived. She nearly bumped into the Headmistress as she turned toward the direction they were coming.

"Oh, Miss Granger…wow…you look beautiful, my dear," Minerva said, looking her over. Hermione's cheeks colored instantly at the compliment.

"Thank you…I figured it would be a good chance to wear something other than the school uniforms," she said.

"Of course, of course. Actually, being an apprentice, you shouldn't have to wear school attire anymore," Minerva said.

"Really? Professor Snape never mentioned that," Hermione said with a frown.

"Yes well…we know how he is. Anyway, you should be permitted to wear whatever you want as long as you have on your cloak and your attire is appropriate. Most apprentices wear robes, slacks, or skirts with a nice shirt. I don't know if I'd wear those shoes all day though..."

"No, I think wearing these for a long period of time will probably render me useless," Hermione said with a smile.

"We'll have to make sure that Severus knows you are not required to wear the school uniform anymore," Poppy said, her eyes sparkling. "Besides, you're an adult now so there is no reason for it."

"Thank you," Hermione said.

"Why don't you walk with us?" Minerva suggested. "We are headed to the Great Hall for dinner."

"It's time for dinner already?" Hermione gasped, looking at her watch.

"It's about a quarter till," Poppy said as they walked down the corridors.

"So, Miss-I'm sorry, I mean Hermione, how has your apprenticeship been going?" Minerva asked kindly.

"It's fine. So far things have been really easy for me. I'm waiting for Professor Snape to give me something more challenging," she said.

"How has he been treating you?" Poppy asked softly.

"Not much different from any other student. I mean, most times he doesn't say much at all to me unless I rile him up," she admitted.

"Rile him up?" Minerva asked, wondering what would make the girl do something so foolish.

"Yeah…well…I kind of…invaded his personal life a bit. We got into a couple of arguments about how I have gotten to personal with him," she said dismissively and explained a little bit of it.

"I'm honestly surprised you're not in the Infirmary," Poppy said with a laugh.

"So am I," Hermione said.

"Does he…open up to you at all, Hermione?" Minerva asked.

"No actually. He's pretty keen on keeping to his privacy, but I'm trying to get to know him better…he's just so difficult," Hermione said in slight frustration.

"Oh, we know," Poppy said earning a look from the Headmistress. Minerva stopped Hermione and looked at her fully.

"Hermione, forgive me if this is a bit personal but…do you have feelings for Severus?" she asked gently catching Poppy's attention. Hermione was about to deny everything and then after a moment she let out a sigh when she saw Minerva's suspicious gaze.

"Am I that obvious?" she asked.

"Probably not to him, but I have noticed a change in you," she conceded.

"I just hope he doesn't find out otherwise he might really want to hex me," Hermione replied.

"You like Severus? Seriously?" Poppy asked and the girl gave a small nod.

"I've had a crush on him since second year. It's just that he is so much more…" she trailed off trying to think of what to say.

"He is so much more like you?" Minerva asked.

"Yes. He's brilliant and he likes books, and potions, and education…I don't know…there is no one else, especially in my age group that matches up to me," Hermione said in frustration as they started walking again.

"I'll agree with you on that one. Hermione, please make sure that you tread carefully. Since you are an adult and his apprentice, there are no rules against the two of you having a relationship but I must voice my concern for you. Severus is a very dangerous and temperamental man," she said seriously.

"I know…" Hermione said and continued walking with them toward the Great Hall.

When they entered the Great Hall, some of the staff was already there with the five students who had stayed for the holidays. They were sitting at the teachers table, gathered on one side, several seats from a very sour looking, Professor Snape.

Severus looked up to see the two women and his young apprentice approaching the table and he felt his eyes widen slightly. The young Gryffindor looked positively radiant and most certainly didn't look like a little girl. He felt a stirring in his chest as he watched her walk toward the table. Then he narrowed his eyes and glared at her.

_She deliberately wants to tease me about what I cannot have! How dare she look so tempting! I'll make her pay for that!_

Hermione and Minerva shared a glance before approaching the table. Minerva and Poppy quickly sat down, leaving the only open seat next to the dour Potions Master. Hermione sent them a glare, knowing exactly what they were doing. The glare that Professor Snape had given her did not go unnoticed either. Hermione swallowed and sat down next to her Professor and spared a glance in his direction to see him looking right at her. Her heart skipped a beat and she turned to face him fully.

"What's the matter, Professor?" she asked softly. He glared at her coldly before letting a cold smirk cross his lips.

"Nothing at all, Miss Granger," he said cruelly. Hermione swallowed and wondered exactly what he was planning on doing. The steely glint in his eye made her extremely uncomfortable.

Hermione didn't say anything to him after that and instead engaged in a conversation with the Headmistress and the Mediwitch. She ate her food carefully as to not spill anything onto her new sweater and embarrass herself in front of Professor Snape who she could feel was watching her through his ebony curtain of hair.

_What the bloody hell did I do now?_

"Severus?" The man looked over at Minerva impatiently.

"Yes, Headmistress?"

"Aren't you going to your childhood home tonight on Spinners End?" she asked. He clenched his teeth and nodded.

"Yes…I must see to it that I reacquire any possessions of mine before the house is repossessed by the bank since my mother did not see fit to pay the debts owed by my father," he said with his lip curled in disgust at the thought of his parents.

"Indeed. Well, I think Hermione should go with you," she said and instantly his fork clattered to his plate. Everyone looked at him.

"No! No one is going to that house with me!" he snapped, glaring at Hermione who didn't even know what to think of the situation.

"Severus, I insist. It's only a house and besides…Hermione can be useful. Now finish your food," Minerva said, ending the conversation.

Hermione saw Professor Snape's nostrils flare angrily as he slammed his hands on the table and glared at the women, but there would be no arguing with the Headmistress. The students who were staring at him quickly averted their eyes when they saw his deadly glare.

"Headmistress…perhaps…it would be best if I didn't go. I wouldn't want to intrude on Professor Snape," Hermione said feeling suddenly afraid of the dangerous look on his face.

"Nonsense. It will be good for you both," Minerva said dismissively.

No more was said on the conversation and the rest of dinner for Hermione was eaten in silence. She was afraid to speak to him as he sat in his seat, obviously seething. The man didn't even touch his food but instead stared straight ahead of him with a deadly scowl carved in his expression.

When dinner was finished, Hermione followed the Potions Master out of the Great Hall and down the corridor. He walked briskly down to the dungeons with his apprentice trailing behind him. Once they were inside his lab, he whirled around and pushed her up against the wall.

"Professor!" she gasped in surprise, not expecting it. His eyes once again held a manic anger that made her blood run cold.

"Listen here, Granger! I am only taking you because the Headmistress insists you go but if you say anything about the house to anyone, I swear to Merlin I will hurt you!" he snarled.

"Professor, why would I say anything?" she asked softly.

"I don't trust you, Granger! Do not go snooping around that house, do you understand?" he hissed. Hermione swallowed and nodded.

"Yes, sir…" she whispered and he wretched himself away from her.

Nothing was said as they each grabbed their winter cloaks and Hermione quickly changed her high heels to her boots and then they both headed out of the castle. His strides were long and purposeful and Hermione found that she had to jog to keep up, but once at the gates, he turned and gave her a steely glare.

"Come here. We have to do a side-long apparition," he growled.

Hermione bit her lip and tentatively approached him. He reached out his hand and after a moment of looking at it, she slipped her delicate hand into his and felt his cool fingers grip hers. He then pulled her to him and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up into his eyes to see him regarding her coldly. Hermione felt his lean body flush against hers and felt the warmth spread through her as she clutched him, knowing that this might be the only time she ever got to touch him. She felt her stomach clench when his arms wrapped around her and they apparated.

Once they were at their destination, Hermione looked up at him again to see him gazing at her with an unreadable expression. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared into his onyx eyes, wondering what he was thinking. It was a few more seconds before he finally spoke.

"You can let go of me now," he said silkily. Hermione flushed scarlet and quickly withdrew from him, scanning her surroundings to avoid looking at him.

The area was cold, dark, and dreary. Hermione frowned as she looked at the rundown mill in the distance and then turned her gaze to the shabby old house before her. She wasn't sure if that house had ever looked nice at all and it was certainly no place for a child to be raised. She looked at Professor Snape to see him still watching her, now with a cold expression.

"Charming isn't it?" he asked icily.

"Um…well…was it in better shape when you were younger?" she asked.

"No. We lived in near poverty. Does that amuse you, Miss Granger?" he asked sourly.

"No, of course not! Why would it?"

"Why? Because spoiled little girls like you, who have always gotten what they wanted, tease and hurt poor little boys. People like me are not good enough for wenches like you," he said viciously.

"How can you say something like that?" she gasped.

"It's the truth. It always has been," he said coldly and stalked toward the house leaving Hermione to stare after him. She watched him for a moment before following.

"I'll just have to prove you wrong," she whispered.


	11. Chapter 10

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 10**

The house was dark and smelt of mildew when Hermione and her Professor entered. Hermione was surprised that the house had been occupied only a few months ago. She turned up her lip in disgust and looked around at the furniture that was covered in moldy sheets that were probably white at some point. Hermione looked at her Professor to see him looking around the living room with an expression she didn't understand. It was almost as if he was afraid of the empty house.

_ The five year old boy sobbed as his father threw him to the floor and began to undo his belt. His glare was menacing as he stared down at the crying boy with cold hatred. _

"_Please Daddy…I'll be good," he pleaded softly. The man didn't say a word, but instead reached down and grabbed the boy, tossing him over the arm of the beaten down sofa and pulling his pants down. Without a word, he spit on his engorged cock and shoved it inside the little boy who screamed like no other. _

"_DADDY!" _

_The man was merciless as he thrust into Severus over and over again, not caring about the blood that ran down the boy's legs. The child cried in loud gasping sobs, hoping that his mother might show compassion for once and help him, but the help never came…_

Hermione could see the terror in his eyes as he looked at the sofa that was sitting in front of them against the wall. Her brows furrowed and saw that his hands were shaking as well.

"Professor?" she called, but he did not respond to her. Swallowing, she slowly approached him and reached out, touching his fingers with hers.

"Professor?" she called softly, this time snapping him out of his thoughts. It took him a second to realize that she was touching him and he quickly snatched his hand away and glared at her.

"Stay here, Granger," he hissed and strode up the creaking stairs.

Hermione rolled her eyes and walked around the living room, looking at the decaying house that should be condemned. The kitchen was even more disgusting with dirty dishes in the sink and rotting food sitting on them. Flies swarmed around it and maggots crawled within the rot causing Hermione to gag and cover her mouth before she threw up. She didn't even bother to explore the rest of it. Hermione couldn't believe that her Professor, who was so strict on organization and cleanliness, actually lived in a house of such filth at one point.

The young Gryffindor walked down the hall and looked at the half opened door at the end of the hall. Having nothing better to do, she walked over to it and pushed the door open completely, only to find a blackened room with no light. It was the basement and there was something eerie about it. Walking a few steps down, she reached the light switch and flicked it on, but it barely lit the room. Hermione was about to peek over the rail when the stairs creaked loudly and suddenly gave way, sending her crashing from the basement stairs to the stone floor below.

A sharp pain coursed through her upper thigh and the left side of her ribcage, causing her to gasp at the intensity of it. Hermione sat up uneasily, tasting the coppery blood on her lips as she looked down at a protruding piece of wood in her thigh.

"Shit…" she hissed and looked around the basement for something that might be of use. Instead, what she found was frightening.

On the walls were several whips, chains, and other forms of what looked like tools for torture. She could see chains with cuffs on the ends of them hanging from the ceiling and on the wooden table on the other side of the room were strange cylindrical objects, some of them with sharp points on them, some of them plain, and some of them with what looked like razors. Not more than three feet from her was a rickety old bed with a molded mattress and underneath it was an old Hogwarts trunk. The name, _Severus Trenton Snape_ was inscribed on it. Fear began to creep inside her and she looked around frantically until her eyes landed on a slip of paper sticking out from underneath an old school book. Hermione reached over and pulled it out, only to find that it was an old photograph. She flipped it over and with a trembling hand, brush away the dirt and grime.

Hermione felt her stomach lurch suddenly and she thought she would be ill if she looked at the image much longer. Then, she heard her Professor call for her and not knowing what else to do, she shoved the photo in her coat pocket so he wouldn't know she had seen it. She didn't know the healing spells that would treat the injury she had, but she lit the tip of her wand so she could see the damage that she had done to her thigh.

"Oh god…" she gasped and felt her breathing come out in short gasps as she tried not to pass out. She swallowed and looked up at the doorway seeing that she would not be able to get out without help. "Professor Snape!"

Severus had searched the upstairs and found a box in his father's old bedroom, hidden in the cracked wall on the far left hand corner. It had made him queasy to see his father's sick perversions again. Severus had thought he had collected all of it, but apparently he hadn't. Once he had grabbed the box and shrunk it to fit in his pocket, he quickly left the room and hurried down the stairs.

"Miss Granger?" he called, but received no immediate answer. Frowning he walked out into the living room when he suddenly heard her pain filled cry.

"Professor Snape! Professor, please help!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.

Severus felt his stomach clench uncomfortably when he found that her voice was coming from the basement. Fear engulfed him first before he became furious. He knew he shouldn't have left her there by herself.

Hermione heard him cursing her name as he came down the corridor toward the basement door and she felt a mild relief knowing that he was going to help her even though he was probably angry with her. She looked at the dirty floor and grimaced at what she was probably sitting on. There were dark brown stains all over the floor and it made her uneasy. She looked from the different torture devices to the floor and back up again, barely registering that Professor Snape was repairing the stairs. With a trembling hand, she whispered an incantation on the brown stains on the floor, hoping that it wasn't what she thought it was. When the tip glowed red, she felt herself gasping for air again and looking frantically up at the stairs for Professor Snape.

"Professor! Please, hurry!" she gasped.

"If you hadn't been nosing around, you wouldn't be in this predicament!" he snapped angrily as he hurried down the steps.

He quickly strode over to her and knelt down to help her. He thought perhaps she had sprained her ankle but when she cast 'Lumos' on the injury, his eyes widened a fraction. He pointed his wand at the injury and looked at her.

"This is going to hurt," he said quietly. Hermione nodded and ground her teeth but when he magically removed the piece of wood, she screamed loudly as the pain seared through her body. Hermione tried her best not to cry like a baby in front of him, but the pain was too much and she could hear her sobs echo against the walls.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to come down here!" she cried.

"Miss Granger, calm yourself," he said firmly and waited as her sobs quieted and she looked at him with big, round, doe like eyes that were glazed over with tears. He felt his chest tighten as he remembered being as terrified and pain filled as she was. Severus noticed the trunk and old book and quickly shrunk them down to fit in his pocket before looking back at her solemnly. "I can seal the wound, but I have nothing for the pain. I can give you a pain potion and a healing salve when we get back to Hogwarts."

"Alright," she sniffed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her up. He slipped an arm behind her knees and the other around her back as he cradled her and carried her up the stairs.

Severus had to use all his mind power to suppress the horrors of what had happened in that basement. He didn't realize that his young apprentice could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest as he hurried out of the house, having gotten everything that he needed.

It was a painful trip to Hogwarts as Hermione had to grit her teeth against the pain. Her thigh was searing as he hurried to his Potions lab, but she buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent and trying to ignore the pain. He smelt of sandalwood and spices, putting her senses in overdrive. The soft skin of his neck was against her face and all she would have to do is turn her head just a fraction and she could press her lips to his pale skin. It was extremely tempting.

Severus could feel her breath against his throat and tried to ignore the stirring sensation in his groin as he entered his lab and set his apprentice down on the desk, knocking the scrolls and essays to the floor. He hurried to his storeroom and grabbed what he needed. Handing the pain potion to her, he watched as she downed it in one gulp and sighed in relief.

"I am going to remove your pants," he said and waved his wand. Her pants disappeared and reappeared on his chair, folded neatly despite the dirt and tear in them.

Hermione felt her cheeks burn as she realized she was wearing her emerald green, lacey, thong knickers. She flinched when she tried to sit up and it didn't go unnoticed. Professor Snape vanished her sweater as well, again making it appear folded and next to her slacks. When he looked back at her, his eyes widened a fraction.

"Lift your arm, Miss Granger," he said with a frown and when she did, he noticed the purplish brush on her ribcage.

"It hurts," she whispered.

"I'm sure it does. I will take care of that as well," he said coldly, trying to keep his gaze from falling onto her breasts. He was surprised to find that she had not worn a bra and was now only in her skimpy knickers, sitting on his desk. Not wanting to be caught looking inappropriate, despite the Headmistress's lack of concern, he cast a locking spell on his door.

"It's cold in here," she said softly.

"Unfortunately, the potions I have on stasis are temperature sensitive so I can not change that," he said. "Now, lie back so I can fix this."

Severus watched her do as he asked and swallowed hard as her nipples stuck out against the cold. He felt himself become hard almost instantly and did his best not to show what kind of affect she was having on him. He quickly dipped his fingers into the salve and applied it to her bruised ribcage, causing her to grimace. The pain potion never took the pain completely away but it did dull it somewhat. He swallowed and continued to rub the salve on her skin until the bruising began to fade and she started to breathe regularly again.

"You know, Miss Granger, this is entirely inappropriate," he said, glancing at her breasts again.

"What is?" she asked, looking at him. This time he pursed his lips and gave her a level look.

"Do you not realize what this looks like? You are my student and you're naked on my desk," he snapped.

"I am an adult and your apprentice who got injured and is being treated in a professional matter. It would be no different if it was Madam Pomfrey with the exception that you're a man," she replied.

"Hmpf! Just cover yourself, Miss Granger," he ground out and watched out of the corner of his eyes as she threw her arm over her breasts and mumbled something under her breath. "What did you say?"

"I said that it's not like you haven't seen me naked before," she said and saw his eyes turn to slits.

"That doesn't mean that I want to see you again, woman! I've been trying to wipe the image from my mind!" he said coldly and was about to apply the salve when Hermione grabbed her wand and dressed herself with a quick wave. She grabbed her coat and limped to the door that would lead to the corridor and to her rooms.

"That's it!"

"What are you doing?" he asked icily, still holding the salve. She whirled around and glared at him despite the glaze over her eyes.

"I'm making sure that I don't linger in your presence anymore and give you another reason to be disgusted with me! Is this what gets you off, Professor?" she snapped.

"Watch it!"

"Why don't you answer me? Do you really enjoy making people feel like absolute shit?" she yelled. "Why do you have to tell me you're disgusted with looking at me? Am I really that fucking hideous?"

"I-"

"On second thought, don't answer that! I don't want my self-esteem going any lower!" she said angrily and stalked out the door, limping toward her rooms. "It's no fucking wonder that you can't get a bloody girlfriend!"

Hermione was angry and hurt as she entered her rooms, cursing his name. She wiped the tears away and threw her coat onto the couch and went into her room. After stripping down, she cast a repairing spell on her pants and cleaned the blood and dirt from them, making them look new again before going to her bathroom. A shower was what she wanted right now.

Severus Snape was furious as he stalked into his room and grabbed a glass of his fire-whiskey. He believed that she should never have gone with him to that house and he should have taken her straight to Madam Pomfrey. Now he was thoroughly angry with the girl for not only yelling at him but for being so damn tempting with her perfect breasts and lush lips and it leaving him with a painful erection. He didn't want to have thoughts like this around anyone. Sex was not a part of his life. It never had been but this young woman was causing him to think thoughts he didn't realize he was still capable of having. Now all of a sudden, Hermione Granger becomes his apprentice and one look at her sends his body into overdrive and he wasn't sure that shagging her would solve the problem. She had gotten underneath his skin and acted as though she cared about him, forcing some of the ice around his heart to melt ever so slightly and he was sure that she was playing games with him. It had to stop.

Angrily, he rolled up his sleeve and ran the blade across his skin, hissing loudly as he watched the blood gather up in the deep wound, spilling over the sliced skin. He took another gulp of his drink and then furiously threw the glass into the fireplace, shattering it against the stone.

"Fucking wench!" he spat and glared at the door, debating on what he was going to do.

Hermione finished her shower and toweled dried her hair before walking into her bedroom completely naked and sifting through her small bedroom bookshelf for her magazines from the muggle and wizarding world. She angrily flipped through it, finding several models whom were virtually perfect and stared at them before looking at herself in her tall mirror. She had magazines all over the floor and was looking at them before looking herself over critically. She frowned at her body, knowing that she wasn't perfect but she had never thought that she was unattractive until now.

Hermione sucked in her stomach, compared her breasts to the models, looked over her thighs, and checked out her bum. She kept telling herself that Professor Snape was just putting up a defensive barrier, but it didn't stop her heart from aching. Fresh tears spilled over her cheeks as she tried to figure out what it was about her that he didn't like.

_Who am I kidding? This is Professor Snape we're talking about. He'll never love me…_

The young Gryffindor hadn't noticed that the Potions Master had entered her rooms and was now standing in the bedroom doorway watching her. She didn't get to see his usually dead expression flicker with regret as he watched the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You're an idiot." The deep baritone voice startled the witch causing her to cry out. She quickly covered herself with her hands and gave him a menacing glare.

"I'm not an idiot! Now get the hell out!" she screamed.

"Yes, you are, Granger, and you better watch how you talk to me!" he snapped.

"Why?" she asked, not knowing what else to say.

"You are comparing yourself to these idiotic swats!" he said gesturing to the magazines.

"Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to compare myself to?" she spat.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for speaking to me like that and you do not have to compare yourself to anyone!" he replied, glaring at her.

"Oh really? Why is that? Is my hideous appearance so bad that no one matches up to it?" she sneered.

"I do not find you hideous, you insufferable woman!" he yelled.

"Then why did you say what you said?" she asked in a low hiss.

"Because I do not want to have inappropriate thoughts about my apprentice who is also my student and half my age!" he snapped angrily. "I may be a right bastard but I am a man, Miss Granger, and I am not infallible."

The full impact of what he had said set in and Hermione swallowed hard, trying to keep the lump in her throat down. She hadn't realized that he might actually find her attractive after all and just wanted to suppress whatever reaction he might have to her physically.

"Sorry…" she mumbled, not wanting to look at his penetrating gaze.

"To hell with your apology, woman! Lie down on the bed so I can put this fucking salve on your injury before the Headmistress fires me for hurting her precious Gryffindor," he spat and watched her limp the bed and sit on the edge of it. "I said, lie down."

Hermione did so and watched as he dipped his fingers into the jar and bent down over her lower half and rubbed the salve on the purplish area where the wood had protruded. Through half close lids, she watched him and noticed his eyes flicker toward the spot between her legs. He glanced up at her face, but she didn't appear to be looking at him, but instead the wooden headboard of her bed. However, when he looked back down at what he was doing, he didn't notice that her eyes had followed and were watching him carefully.

It was then that Hermione noticed he was not wearing his black coat, but rather the crisp white shirt and his black trousers. She also saw that there were blood stains on the inside of his left arm although he was trying to hide it. Hermione wished she could say something but she knew it wasn't a good idea especially with the lines she had already crossed. Her eyes strayed down his torso to his hips before settling on his crotch where much of her attention had been focused lately. She was shocked to see the bulge that was shifted to one side and ran just a little down his pant leg.

_Thank god for tight pants!_

The long cylindrical shape gave her a pretty good idea just how big he was and it was more than adequate. In fact, it was a little frightening but what she considered the most was the fact that he actually could achieve an erection so that much was functional. It was also quite a warming feeling to know that she was the cause of it despite her prior belief that she had disgusted him. It was now very apparent that she didn't.

Once he finished applying the salve, he stood up quickly and left the room. Hermione had noticed the flush in his cheeks and the grip he had on the jar of salve. He didn't even say anything to her and that was enough to tell her that he was embarrassed. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Hermione looked down at her healed thigh and thought about his fingers against her skin. The feeling of desire she had for him was more than she could describe and she wanted him desperately.


	12. Chapter 11

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 11**

The incident between Hermione Granger and Severus Snape was not spoken between them. It was a week till Christmas and Professor Snape barely spoke to Hermione at all. He wasn't aware that she was becoming quite concerned with him now as well as a little irritated. She walked into the lab wearing a knee length skirt that flared out at the bottom with her black knee high boots and crisp violet shirt. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had her jaw set as she walked right up to his desk where he was writing on a piece of parchment furiously.

"Professor," she said firmly. The man looked up at her with an expressionless gaze, his face hard and his eyes dead.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" he sneered.

"You have been avoiding me since we went to your house. I want to know why," she said noticing the dangerous darkening in his eyes.

"Perhaps I do not wish to suffer any more of your insistent chattering than absolutely necessary," he snapped.

"You're cruel words are not going to hurt me," she said with a sniff. "Are you embarrassed about what happened between us?"

"Nothing happened between us!"

"You saw me naked, then you insulted me, came to my rooms to make it right with me, and then fixed me all up. What makes you so uncomfortable about that?"

"Granger! You are my student and I saw you naked twice! What part of that is not supposed to make me uncomfortable?" he snapped icily, standing up to tower over her.

"I am an adult as we had established several times before! Professor, is it really because I am your student or is it because I am a woman?"

"What the hell are you insinuating?" he snarled.

"Well, you don't exactly seem like someone who is around women…much," she said, backing away, but Professor Snape grabbed her.

"Do you find that amusing?" he hissed.

Hermione looked at him, searching his face but not seeing anything in his eyes but emptiness. She wished that she could touch his heart somehow. Hermione reached out and gently touched his hand, startling him.

"No, I don't find it amusing. Professor, why are you so defensive around me?" she asked softly, running her thumb over the top of his hand. He quickly snatched his hand away and backed up, swallowing hard.

"You forget your place," he snarled.

"You don't have to be afraid of me," she said quietly. That seemed to trigger his anger again and he glared at her.

"I am afraid of no one."

"I know that's not true," she said before she realized she what she had said. This time he looked at her suspiciously.

"What do you mean that you _know_?" he asked coldly. Hermione backed away.

Professor Snape grabbed her and pulled her toward him. His arm snaked around her waist and held her body close to his. He had the disturbing feeling that she knew something she shouldn't. His eyes bore into hers and he was tempted to use Legilimency on her.

"I meant nothing," she whispered.

"You're lying! Tell me what you know!" he yelled.

"I know that you're afraid of your own house," she replied with a trembling voice.

"That was my father's house, not mine!" he snapped.

"Either way, you were afraid of it! I saw the look on your face when we entered it. I saw how you reacted when we went down into the basement! That was your bedroom wasn't it?" she asked, remembering the Hogwarts trunk under the bed.

Professor Snape pushed her back against his desk, forcing her to lie down on it, pinning her down to the cold mahogany wood. His hips fell between her legs as he pressed his body against hers and leaned over her, making their position look extremely compromising.

"Professor…" she gasped and couldn't stop the desire from flooding through her body. "Please…you have no idea…"

"What exactly do you know about me?" he hissed.

"I don't know anything about you, but I could see fear on your face when entered that house. I also know that the dark brown spots on the basement floor were blood," she said and saw his eyes widen a fraction. "Whose was it?"

"That is none of your business! You better not say a word to anyone about this," he said coldly.

"Tell me," she whispered and felt him press his body harder against hers.

"No. Mind your own business," he snapped, glaring down at her.

It was then that he noticed a difference in her breathing. He could see that her eyes were dilated and her breathing was soft, but irregular. Severus felt his groin ache when the distinct scent of her arousal caught his nose. He thought it was utterly impossible and stared at her with wide eyes.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" she asked, trying to control her desire for the man who had unknowingly aroused her.

"Nothing." His tone was flat but with a hint of uncertainty as he let go of her and backed away.

"You really are defensive about everything," she said, sitting up and on the edge of his desk.

"Get off my desk," he growled.

"You're the one who put me here," she retorted hotly, frustrated with her own sexual tension.

"Get. Off. My. Desk."

His tone of voice and dangerous glare was not something that Hermione wanted to argue with much further. She slid off his desk and glared at him, but he simply pushed past her and sat back down.

"You never answered my question, Professor," she said boldly. His gaze snapped up to meet hers and she felt herself become weak in the knees from the deep penetrating stare.

"What question are you referring to?" he hissed softly.

"Whose blood was it?" she asked and saw his jaw clench tightly.

"I told you it was none of your business," he spat.

"Professor, don't you think that perhaps talking to someone would help you with your anger?" she asked, knowing that she was close to being hexed.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," she said when she saw the malicious glint in his eyes. "I'll just go now." With that, Hermione fled the lab and raced back to her rooms, cursing her own stupidity and big mouth. She flopped down onto her sofa and covered her face with her hands. "How stupid could I be? Why can't I just leave him alone? He's never going to like me."

Harry sat in Ginny's room at the Burrow, relaxing on her cozy bed while she organized her closet. He watched her through half hooded lids, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched her bottom swirl around.

"Are you having fun, Gin?" he asked softly. She turned and smirked at him.

"Of course. I like going through my closet and looking at some of my nicer clothes. It usually gets on Hermione's nerves," she laughed.

"Speaking of Hermione, she's been acting strange lately," he commented and noticed that Ginny tensed for a second before going back to her rummaging. He frowned. "Ginny, you know something, don't you?"

"Harry, she has just been stressed lately," Ginny said with a shrug.

"It's more than that, isn't it? Ron's been awfully upset lately that she won't go out with him. Is it because she is seeing someone else?" he asked. Ginny turned to look at him.

"No, she isn't seeing anyone else," she said.

"But…she likes someone, right?"

"Harry, I cannot tell you," Ginny conceded.

"I wouldn't tell anyone," Harry said with a frown.

"It's not so much that, Harry. It's also the fact that she wouldn't want to tell you _who_ she likes."

"Why not?" Now he was intrigued.

"Harry, you know that Hermione has been our friend since school started and you guys are very protective of her. No one she likes or possibly dates is going to be good enough and Ron will sure as hell be angry no matter who it is," Ginny said pointedly.

"I know, I know. She's like my sister though. Ginny, if you tell me who she likes, I swear I won't start anything with her," he said.

"Harry…"

"Please, Ginny. Now that I know, I won't be able to rest until I know who it is," he said. There was a moment of silence as Ginny seemed to be debating on what she was going to say. Sighing, she walked over to her bed and sat down.

"Listen to me, Harry. Hermione has kept this secret since her second year and I feel guilty enough as it is even telling you that she has feelings for someone."

"Second year? This guy must be special for her to hold feelings for him for so long," Harry said in surprise and noticed the uncomfortable expression on her face. He sat up and looked at her searchingly. "It's not Malfoy, is it?"

"No…"

"But?"

"Harry, she's in love with…well…um…"

"Ginny, just tell me," he insisted.

"She'sinlovewithSeverusSnape," she said so quickly that Harry had to take a moment to decipher it. Then, he eyes became so large, she could swear they were going to pop out of his skull.

"Severus Snape? As in, Professor Snape?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

"WHAT?"

"Shut up!" she hissed.

"Professor Snape? Is she fucking crazy?" he snapped.

"I knew you would act this way," she said, shaking her head. Harry took a moment to calm his breathing before sitting back against the headboard of her bed.

"I'm sorry. It's just…a shock," he admitted although the edge could be heard in his voice. She also noticed his jaw clenching at the thought.

"Yeah, well, I guess I can't say much because I reacted about the same when she told me," Ginny said.

"It's just…it's Professor Snape. I don't understand it."

"Well, look at it this way. Hermione is very mature even for her age, she loves books and so does he, she loves potions and so does he. Both of them are very intellectual which puts them very much on the same level. Not to mention that she's into the tall, dark, and mysterious," Ginny said.

"He's also a murdering Death Eater!" he hissed.

"You can hate him all you want but you know for a fact that he was ordered to do what he did. You _know_ it!" she said angrily.

"Alright, so what if I do know that he had no other choice? He's still a git and he's been one ever since we attended school," he huffed. Ginny rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Harry, I don't claim to know everything about Professor Snape and neither does Hermione, but I have heard my parents talking about him on occasion. There's something wrong with him…" Harry snorted.

"You got that right!"

"No! I'm serious! Mum told my dad once that she knew some horrible things had happened to him even before he became a Death Eater. She said something about his parents being cruel to him, but she didn't elaborate. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I mean, Professor Snape was a child when his tough luck started," she said softly. She saw Harry's eyes flicker with something kin to regret. "Listen, Harry. I know that you hate him and he probably hates you, but give the man _some_ credit. His parents hated him and are probably responsible for creating him into what he is today. Dumbledore forced him to carry out his murder and then in the end he was discovered by Voldemort and tortured within an inch of his life."

"I know…I just…I don't know," Harry said with a sigh, feeling tired of fighting with Ginny over it.

"I'm not asking you to like him. I am asking you to understand that this is Hermione's choice. If Ron ever finds out, he will make her life miserable so please don't say anything."

"I don't see what she keeps holding onto these feelings for. He's never going to have feelings for her," he said.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's Snape and he doesn't care about anyone," he replied in annoyance.

"You don't know that. Maybe he has never been given the opportunity because no one has ever given _him_ a chance," Ginny pointed out. Harry looked at her in silence for a moment.

"You really support her on this, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. She is my friend and I respect her choices," she said sincerely.

"Well, I don't like him, but I won't stand in her way. I still don't think anything is going to come of it, but if it does…then I will try my best to…accept it," Harry conceded in defeat. Ginny smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Harry," she said and kissed him soundly before breaking away to look at him.

"Just tell me something…he hasn't…you know…they haven't done…anything, have they?" he asked uncertainly causing her to laugh.

"No. Actually, even though she has been in love with him for years she is afraid of him finding out about her feelings."

"I can only imagine how he would react," Harry said, shaking his head.

"Yeah…I would imagine he would be extremely furious that someone had the audacity to think of him in such a way or he'd be shocked senseless for the same reason."

"He'd probably be shocked," Harry snorted. "I have to admit, the man probably needs a good lay."

"Yeah really! I'd be amazed if one night of sex was all it took for him to relax," Ginny laughed as Harry shook his head and tried to push the images from his mind.


	13. Chapter 12

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 12**

Hermione was usually very cautious when it came to the Forbidden Forest, but this time her mind was wandering and she didn't realize just how deep she had walked into it. Her mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Professor Snape and how she had talked to him that she hadn't realized that she was delving deeper and deeper into the trees. Now, she looked around in a sense of dread, cursing her own stupidity.

"Why did I come out this far? Why did I have to think about Professor Snape and get lost?" she growled as she tried to backtrack. After a couple of minutes she heard rustling in the trees and faint voices. Frowning, she crept toward them as silently as she could. Hermione looked through the bushes and nearly gasped at the sight of two Death Eaters talking.

"The others will be here soon. We'll see if the _traitor_ comes out today! I want to kill him!" McNair said.

"Be careful what you want. Snape may be a traitor but you remember what he did to his father. The man is deadly," Nott said in warning. McNair laughed evilly.

"All you have to do with ol' Snape is pin him down and he'll freak out. Remember when that bloody puffer was recruited and grabbed Snape's arse?" he laughed.

"Yeah, I remember. He slaughtered that kid."

"That's true, but that would be fitting punishment for him. Tie him up and make him remember what it was like to be helpless," McNair snarled, his eyes glowing with madness.

"Good luck, mate. I say we just kill him, but if you can get away with capturing and torturing him then be my guest but I know when I have met my match," Nott said.

Hermione hadn't even realized that she was holding her breath as she backed away. Then it happened. She stepped on a small branch and caused it to snap loudly catching the attention of the two Death Eaters. She gasped when they jumped through the bushes and looked at her in surprise. They stared at each other for a moment before McNair through a curse at her and she blocked it with 'Protego'. Hermione took the opportunity to run like mad through the forest, zig zagging several times to avoid being hit by the curses that were being thrown at her.

"That's Potter's Mudblood friend!" McNair yelled.

"Good! I want a piece of her!" Nott replied, cutting through the trees quickly, but he had to admit the girl was fast.

Hermione thought her chest was going to explode as she pounded through the forest. It was getting dark out and becoming harder to see. She glanced behind her to see that she was a good distance ahead of them and quickly ducked toward another direction. Her legs burned from her efforts but she was not going to stop even though she felt like she had been running forever.

"Come on we have to catch her!" she heard Nott say.

"Don't worry, the others are here! Lucius and Goyle are at the gates!"

Hermione felt panic rising in her as she considered the fact that she might actually be surrounded already. She couldn't apparate to the front gate either. Her breathing was becoming short and labored as she fought to breathe and was unable to stop running. Then she spotted someone in the distance and raised her wand to him until she got closer and noticed that the black robes did not belong to a Death Eater.

"Professor Snape!" she cried, surprising the man who was apparently gathering potions ingredients. His eyes narrowed when he saw her.

"Miss Granger, what the devil-"

"Death Eaters! They're chasing me!" she screamed as she ducked to the left and narrowly missed a hex.

Severus immediately dropped his bag and drew his wand as his apprentice raced to his side. He could hear Nott and McNair yelling in the distance, but hardly had time to think about as the Gryffindor ran up to him and threw her arms around him, apparating both of them out of the forest. When they reached their destination, he was surprised and angry to see that it wasn't the front gates. He also took notice of the fact that Hermione Granger was holding onto him for dear life with her arms wrapped around his waist.

"Miss Granger, you will remove yourself from my person at once!" he snapped, his discomfort rising. She did so immediately, but shot him a death glare.

"I just saved us both and you're snapping at me?" she asked in disbelief and anger.

"Saved us? Where the fuck are we?" he snapped icily.

"I couldn't take us to the Hogwarts gates because I overheard them say that Lucius Malfoy and Goyle Sr. were waiting there. They said that other Death Eaters were in the forest looking for YOU!" she yelled, catching the attention of a few muggles who looked at them strangely.

"Be quite!" he hissed and grabbed her arm, dragging her away from the apparition point. "We need to find another place to apparate so that they cannot trace us. We'll have to wait until morning to go back to the castle because they will not strike during the day."

The two of them quickly went down the street and into an alley way where they apparated again to a small town north of London. Hermione followed him to a nearby, _Bed and Breakfast_ so they could get a room. He was scowling the entire way. Neither one of them had any muggle money on them so with careful precision he cast a few spells that put there name on the reservation list and made it appear that there room had been paid for the night. It certainly wasn't the nicest of places, but it would suit their needs for one night.

Hermione was sore and aching as they climbed the stairs to their room. When they went inside she heard him curse loudly and looked around to see what the problem was. Frowning, she looked at him curiously.

"The room isn't _that_ bad," she implored.

"It isn't the room I have a problem with, Granger. It's the fact that there is only _one_ bed," he snarled. Hermione looked at the queen sized bed and felt her heart skip a beat.

_Oh shit…_

"Oh…well…um…it's not that bad. I mean…I…I'll stay on my side," she said uncertainly as she took off her coat and set it on the bed but he simply glared at her. Hermione then began to loose all patience. "What? Is sleeping in the same bed really that awful? It's not like I am going to rape you or something!" Instantly, she noticed his face pale and regretted her words.

_Maybe he…no…could he have…gone through that…as a child?_

He didn't say another word as he sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. He didn't even notice when his apprentice approached him cautiously and now stood before him until she started him out of his thoughts with her soft voice.

"Professor?"

"What?" he growled, looking up at her coldly.

"Look, I'm sorry about all of this. It's just…they were planning on doing horrible things to you…I didn't want to take the chance of apparating to the castle gates and then get caught." However, Hermione's apology seemed to go on deaf ears.

"What the hell were you doing in the Forbidden Forest? You should never have been out there, especially by yourself!" he snarled. Her eyes narrowed and she bent down to look him straight in the eyes, her nose nearly touching his as he had done to her on several occasions.

"It doesn't matter why I was out there. What matters is that I was there to warn you because you would have been surrounded by Death Eaters who were talking about the different ways to torture you. You should be grateful you arrogant man!" she hissed and stalked away from him to the bathroom leaving Professor Snape to stare after her.

Severus knew that she was right but that didn't mean he was happy about it. He didn't want to admit that he had just had his life saved by a woman half his age and a Gryffindor at that who was best friends to Harry Bloody Potter. Grinding his teeth, he stood up and took off his coat. Then he remembered that it was possible for Lucius to put a trace on their wands because of his connections with the Ministry. He quickly strode to the bathroom and knocked. To his surprise, she opened the door with nothing more than a towel on.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in disbelief.

"I am about to take a shower, _sir_! I am after all the one who was running from them for some time before I found you," she said in annoyance causing his lips to tighten into a thin line.

"Where is your wand?" he asked.

"Right here," she said, picking it up off the sink counter. Before she realized what happened, he snatched it and walked back into the main room. "Hey!" Hermione followed him out and watched him set both wands on the nightstand.

"We cannot use magic, Miss Granger," he snapped, trying not to look at her shapely legs and barely concealed bottom. The towel was certainly not covering enough of her.

"You could have just told me that rather than taking my wand," she snapped.

"Watch your tone with me," he warned. "I took it to ensure that you do not use it."

"I am capable of controlling myself!" she replied coldly. He snorted.

"I have come discover for myself that you are not," he snarled.

Her face flushed scarlet as she realized what he was implying. Embarrassment washed over and she felt herself trembling with anger as she looked at the man she had fallen in love with who was undeniably cruel to her.

"You are an asshole," she hissed and stomped back toward the bathroom.

"Watch it little girl!" he snapped but she slammed the door without saying anything else to him.

Severus was sitting on the bed for an hour, itching to pull his silver blade from his pocket but knew that he couldn't take the chance since he was unable to use his wand to cover up the blood. It instantly made him even more irritable. He began to scratch his forearm through the cotton material of his white shirt and eye the bathroom angrily. He couldn't believe that he of all people was in this situation. He was surprised that the Death Eaters had tried to get him while he was so close to the castle. Severus had actually been expecting them to try at his childhood home on Spinner's End, but then again, they probably knew that the likely hood of him going back to that house was slim to none. It was only by circumstance that he did go back at all.

Finally succumbing to boredom, he grabbed the television remote and began to flip through the channels, turning up his lips when he came across a channel for children. Quickly passing it, he continued to search for something to watch when he heard the shower shut off.

"It's about bloody time," he grumbled and looked toward the bathroom. His discomfort rose considerably as she walked out in that damn small towel and dripping wet hair. "GRANGER!" She nearly tripped over her own feet as he scared the life out of her.

"What the hell?" she snapped.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked viciously.

"No, the question is, what the hell is wrong with _you_?" she retorted causing his jaw to clench almost painfully.

"You are not dressed!" he snarled.

She looked at him as if he had grown two heads. Then she went back to the bathroom and grabbed her dirty clothes, bringing them back out so he could look at them. They truly were filthy.

"This is why I am not dressed! I am not putting on these filthy clothes and since I cannot clean them I am going to stay in this nice clean towel!" she snapped and tossed her clothes on the floor. "I'm certainly not sleeping in them so you will just have to deal with it!"

"How dare you!" he said furiously, his face turning a nice shade of red.

"What do you expect? You want me to wear those filthy clothes to bed? You're insane! Besides, it's not like I am happy about the situation anyway," she huffed and sat down on the other side of the bed. It took a moment of tension filled silence before he finally spoke.

"Did you use all the hot water?" he growled.

"No, I don't think so," she replied and watched him stand and stalk off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione rolled her eyes and took the opportunity to remove her towel and dry her hair as much as possible before she slipped the towel back around her and got comfortable on the bed. She did the exact same thing that Professor Snape had done and began searching through the channels, finally settling on National Geographic.

Severus angrily slashed at his arms while he stood in the shower, cursing himself for being so stupid and being caught in this situation. Blood fell onto the white porcelain of the tub and flowed down the drain, causing his anger to abate slowly. He hated himself for being so weak to where he had to do this for relief, but he just couldn't help it. He had come to realize that he was losing control of himself more and more. He had never been one to lose control as often as he had been doing lately with Miss Granger, but somehow she had either managed to crawl under his skin or he was just finally cracking.

Hermione listened to the shower running and bit her lip, wondering what he looked like nude. Licking her lips she hopped off the bed and crept to the door, her heart pounding as she felt a sense of déjà vu. She hadn't noticed before that the door was missing a locking mechanism as well as a piece of the frame, so although it shut, it had nothing holding it shut and opened a good inch on its own. Her heart felt like it was in her throat as she peeked in the crack of the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Hermione knew that what she was doing was so wrong on many levels, but she couldn't keep her curiosity from getting the best of her. She was a nineteen year old virgin who had been in love with the dour man for years and she was sure that she would never be able to have a relationship with him so she wanted to get some sort of image for her imagination.

Pushing the guilt away till later, she looked at the nearly clear shower curtain and watched him as he scrubbed himself. She had a very blurry view of him due to the curtain, but at least she could see some of his form. Hermione didn't even register that the water had turned off until his arm came out to grab a towel. She clamped her hand over her mouth when she saw the horrible scars that went from his wrist to his elbow ditch as well as the new slices in his skin that were slowly trickling blood. Her whole body froze when he suddenly pulled the shower curtain open, but luckily for her he was toweling his face. Hermione was able to catch a glimpse of his naked body, but quickly darted back to the bed before he noticed that she was peeking in on him.

She was glad that it took him several minutes before he emerged because she was using that time to control her breathing and slow her heart rate. Flashes of his nude body ran through her mind and she had to stop the tears from falling when she remembered the scars that not only laced his arms, but his side as well. She had seen a large, thick scar on his abdomen, but she didn't get the chance to look much further south than that. He had some scars on his chest and she was sure they were _not _self inflicted. The man had been tortured all his life and it broke her heart. Now the guilt and shame of what she had done hit her and she didn't raise her head when he emerged, wearing his trousers and his white shirt.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked coldly, noticing how she was deliberately not looking at him.

"Nothing. I just don't want to fight anymore," she replied and collected herself as he sat down on the bed beside her. Hermione pushed the images of her nude Professor aside and looked back up at the television as he sat up against the headboard, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"I was under the impression that you liked to fight because you seem to test my patience quite often," he said sourly.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said softly. "Professor, do you think we should have cast a Patronus earlier for Headmistress McGonagall?"

"Perhaps, but it is too late for that now. Lucius would have surely contacted his people at the Ministry to trace us by now," he said tiredly.

"So, since we have to spend all this time together and it is not yet time for bed, can we talk?" she asked bravely. He turned to look at her evenly.

"About what?" he asked suspiciously.

"Anything. I'm bored, honestly," she said with a shrug, trying to sound indifferent.

"Mmhmm…"

Hermione swallowed and wondered if she could get him to open up at least a bit. She wanted to try and get to know the reclusive man a bit more of a personal level, but she was aware that she would have to be careful so he didn't decide to use his wand after all and hex her into pieces…


	14. Chapter 13

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am very sorry that it took so long to update but my computer crashed and I had to replace the hardrive unfortunately so it has been a long process of recovering files and finding my backup disks with my fanfics on them. I will try to update as often as I can, but chapter might come one a week or once every two weeks depending on my schedule. Also, since people are having a hard time with my email I will post it and you can send me a message if you want the Original, _Love the Unloved_ because I have not yet decided if I will post it on yet. My email phoenixandtheserpent yahoo. com ...No spaces though.**

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**Love the Unloved **

**Chapter 13 **

"Only because I am wide awake and extremely bored with the television, am I going to humor you for a moment and allow you to talk to me," Snape said disdainfully.

"Thanks for being nice about it," she retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Alright, then I won't speak at all," he said indifferently.

"No, no! I'm sorry," she said and then a few minutes went by in silence.

"Well? Are you going to bloody speak or are you for once without questions?" he snapped.

"I was trying to think of something to ask you since you're not the most friendly person in the world," she said irritably. "Hmmm…" Snape rolled his eyes.

"Just say anything!" he snapped.

"Ok, um…what's your favorite color?" she asked, looking at him to see him giving her a very un-amused look. "What? I was thinking along the lines of a friendly conversation." Snape rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling.

"I suppose I could say that I am partial to the color green," he said.

"Is that because of you being a Slytherin or because you actually liked that color from when you were younger?" she asked.

"I have always liked green, but not so much the green used to represent Slytherin house. I like hunter green," he replied, looking at her.

"Most people would think that black would be your color of choice," she said with a smirk.

"It is my color of choice for my wardrobe."

"Why is that? I mean, why not wear something hunter green? It's a dark color too," she said, sitting back against the headboard about a foot from him.

"I like wearing black," he said flatly, trying to keep his eyes on her face and not her chest and bare legs. "It's simple."

"It's kind of morbid."

"Well, then it's all the more reason for me to wear it considering what kind of person I am," he purred dangerously. Hermione pursed her lips and shook her head.

"Ok, so be honest with this one," she said and felt him bristle suddenly. "Do you really hate teaching or do you just treat the students like you do because they annoy you?" She noticed that he relaxed.

_He probably thought I was going to ask something really personal._

"I actually do not hate teaching as much as everyone seems to think, but I do hate idiot children and unfortunately I have to deal with them on a daily basis," he said.

"Some of your students aren't that bad," she implored.

"I know you're referring to yourself," he said.

"So? It's true. At least I am not an idiot," she replied with a smirk. It took a moment before he gave the tiniest of smirks.

"No, you are not an idiot…academically," he said earning a glare from her.

"Very funny," she huffed.

"Well, since we are on this ridiculous subject, what is your favorite color?" he asked.

"I really like beige, burgundy, and blue. It's hard to pick one," she replied.

"Interesting. I always thought you were a pink kind of girl," he replied. She whirled her head around and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you mental? I'm not Lavender or one of the Patil twins!" she snapped and saw a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "Oh! That's not funny!"

"I must admit that your presence is bearable only because you do not dress like Umbridge," he said.

"Thanks. Alright, so have you ever been married?" she asked, hoping that he didn't get offended, but by the look on his face it seemed that he might have.

"No, I have not!" he snapped.

"It was an innocent question," she said softly.

"Who the fuck would marry me?" he snarled.

"Why wouldn't someone want to marry you?"

"We've gone over my _charming_ qualities before," he replied sourly.

"Alright, so you've never been married, but have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asked, looking at his face.

"No."

"Really?" The look on his face answered her question. "Alright, then let me ask you this, remember when you said that if a woman kissed you, you would hex her?"

"Yes…"

"Does that mean you have _never_ kissed a woman?"

"I don't think that's any of your business," he said in an all too calm voice that unnerved her more than his usual cold tone.

"It's just a question. Besides, it's not like I am going to repeat this," she said in exasperation. There was a moment of silence.

"No, Miss Granger, I have never kissed a woman because I have never wanted to," he said coldly.

"Why would you never want to?" she asked.

"Kissing is a form of personal intimacy. I do not let people get close too me," he replied, his black eyes glaring into her cinnamon ones.

"I never thought of it that way," she conceded trying to mollify him a bit.

"And what of you, Granger? How many boys have been in your knickers?" he asked coldly, shocking her a bit with her vulgarity.

"None. I have never kissed anyone nor have I ever engaged in sexual activity," she replied primly.

"Hmpf!"

"You have had sex before, right?" she asked curiously and saw his eyes zero to slits.

"Now we are going into a completely inappropriate conversation."

"So what? No one else is here and we are not in school," she replied, wanting to find out more.

"Miss Granger, what fascination do you have with my sex life?" he asked suspiciously. Her face turned red and she turned away from him.

"Nothing. I was just wondering…that's all," she replied meekly. "If you want, you could ask me a question of equal value."

"What makes you think I want to?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just thought I would even the odds," she replied with a shrug.

"Alright then, but you have to answer all of my questions," he said with an evil smirk.

"Ok, but you would have to answer all of mine if you want me to be honest," she replied looking him in the eye. He seemed to falter at this for a moment.

"I will answer certain questions from you, but some I _will not_," he said firmly. She shrugged.

"Alright, so what is your first question?" she asked timidly.

"First off, why the hell aren't you dating the Weasley idiot? I thought the two of you were an item for a while."

"No, we aren't and have never been together. Ron is not exactly my type…at all. He's all about Quidditch, he's a pig, and anything to do with books or academics, he starts to fall asleep. Not to mention that he has this delusional idea about us getting married and making a bunch of babies like his mum. I love Molly, don't get me wrong, but I don't want twenty kids and I don't want to be some at home mother, cooking and cleaning for the rest of my life," she replied.

"Good. It would be a terrible waste of your intellect," he purred.

"Did you just compliment me?" she asked, looking at him.

"Perhaps. It's probably because I'm tired," he replied. "So, we have determined that Weasley is not in the picture, then which boy at Hogwarts holds your affection?"

"None of the boys," she said with a sniff.

"Girls?"

"NO!" she screeched. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, do you like any of the female staff?" she asked, watching him and hoping that he did not.

"No, I don't."

"Why not? I mean, Headmistress McGonagall would probably look good in nothing but knickers," she said and saw a look of horror cross his face causing her to burst out laughing.

"I'm going to have nightmares," he grumbled.

"How about Madam Hooch? Maybe she could sport a nice _pink_ bikini for you," she joked and saw him grimace.

"Please, Miss Granger, spare me the images. I do not like any of the staff," he said in disgust.

"You're not gay, right?" she asked and saw his eyes become murderous.

"No!" he snarled, but his face had lost some of its color.

"Thank goodness," she breathed but he heard it.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," she said all too quickly. "Ask another question." Snape was eyeing her suspiciously for a moment.

"Well, Miss Granger, you have always come off as a good little girl-"

"I'm not a little girl."

"-so tell me, just how naughty are you?" he asked, smirking when her face turned crimson.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I think you know exactly what I mean. You agreed to answer my questions, remember? Tell me, do you masturbate, Miss Granger?" he asked calmly despite the fact this his own body was reacting to the thought of her touching herself.

"Um…yes," she said softly.

"Really?" he asked in surprise, not expecting her to be forthcoming with that kind of information.

"Well, who doesn't nowadays?" she snapped irritably, trying to shield her own embarrassment.

"I don't," he said flatly and instantly wanted to bite his tongue. She snapped her head around to look at him.

"Bullshit!"

"Language," he warned, cursing to himself for letting the slip up a minute ago.

"Every man masturbates! Harry and Ron can't function without wanking off," she said in disbelief and saw him cringe.

"Bloody hell! I didn't need to know that about them," he said in disgust.

"You said you would be honest! Do you really not masturbate?" she asked, braving the dangerous Slytherin beside her.

_Well, he opened the door for this one…_

"No, I do not," he replied stonily.

"Then…how do you…you know…get relief?"

"A potion," he replied simply.

"A potion? Is it one that takes away the desire?"

"No, it causes instant ejaculation," he replied, feeling his cheeks burn slightly.

"Instant? Where the hell is the fun in that?"

"Masturbation is not fun," he said coldly.

"It could be if you think about the person you want to have sex with and stroke yourself just right…"

Severus felt his face grow hot and his groin tighten painfully. He quickly snapped at her and told her to be quiet before lying down and rolling onto his side, facing away from her so she could not see just how embarrassed she had made him. His embarrassment quickly turned to anger as he thought about how stupid he was for making such a foolish slipup.

"Professor, I'm sorry, please don't go to bed yet," she said, peaking over his body in hopes of seeing his face.

"Leave me be, Miss Granger! Laugh at me some other time!" he snarled.

Hermione scooted closer to him so that her body was barely grazing his and felt him stiffen immediately. Her heart felt as though it was going to pound right through her ribcage as she craned her head over his shoulder and looked at the side of his face. He turned sharply to face her and felt his stomach churn at their closeness.

"Hi." It was the only thing she could think of to say at that moment. His eyes went wide for a second before narrowing.

"Get the hell away from me," he snapped.

"You have to talk to me," she said boldly, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I'm bored," she whined.

"Obviously."

"Professor?"

"What?"

"How come you won't let me use your first name since I am your apprentice?" she asked and was surprised when he turned to lie on his back, causing his body to brush right up against hers. She couldn't help but place her hand on his chest.

"First of all, remove yourself from my person. Second, I will not let you use my given name because I don't want you to," he snarled.

Hermione sat up next to him but did not move away. She looked down at him, trying to gage his expression and figure out if he was merely being defensive or if he was serious. His expression however, was extremely difficult to read.

"What if I called you by your name anyway?" she asked softly.

"Don't test my patience, Miss Granger!" he snarled.

"Professor! Why are you so mean to me? What the hell did I ever do to you?" she snapped finally. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off with her tirade.

"I try to be nice to you! I try to show you respect! I save your fucking life-"

"Miss Granger!"

"-and what the hell do I get from you? You're sorry goddamn-"

"Granger!"

"-attitude! And after everything I have been through-"

"Granger!"

"-you can't even let me use your goddamn given name!"

"GRANGER!"

Hermione nearly jumped off the bed when he yelled her name and she felt the tears of anger and frustration finally spill over her cheeks as she glared at the man. She wanted to break down and cry, but she didn't want to make a fool of herself anymore than she had. Without saying another word to him, she rolled over and faced the wall.


	15. Chapter 14

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 14**

Severus lay on the bed staring at the ceiling in frustration debating with himself on what to do about his apprentice who was facing away from him, sniffing softly. She had a point about the use of his name. Technically, apprentices and Masters were supposed to be familiar with each other and should be permitted to use each others given name, but he had never taken an apprentice and he wasn't sure how he felt about this girl calling him by his name. It didn't help that for the first time he felt confused on how he should regard her. Rubbing his eyes in frustration, he rolled onto his side and faced her, looking over her backside. His eyes wandered down to her shapely bum which was slightly exposed from the towel riding up. Swallowing, he first his eyes back up.

"Miss Granger?" She didn't answer. "Miss Granger?" he tried again. This time when she didn't answer, he growled and grabbed her, turning her over to face him.

"Leave me alone."

"Stop acting like a petulant child!" he snapped.

"Me?" she screeched.

"Be quite! Listen, I…apologize…for tonight," he said with some difficulty.

"Why do you do this?" she whispered.

"Do what?" he asked in confusion.

"This. Treat me like you do. Has it ever occurred to you that I might care about you?" she asked softly, looking up at him. Their gazes locked and she stared searchingly into his eyes.

"Miss Granger, you tread on dangerous ground," he said dangerously soft. Then she shocked him when she reached up and cupped his cheek.

"What if I _want_ to be on dangerous ground?" she asked softly.

"Stop!" he said, pushing her hand away before she broke his resolve. "You don't know what you're doing! I am not the kind of man to trifle with."

"You're afraid."

"What?" his voice went cold.

"You're afraid because someone actually wants to get close to you," she said softly.

"I do not need you're school girl fantasies of pity pressed upon me," he snapped.

"You can be so stupid," she said in exasperation. "Just…never mind!" Now she was frustrated and she sat up so quickly that he didn't have time to move before his lips grazed against her chest. It took all his willpower to sit back against the headboard and not rip her towel off.

"Perhaps, Miss Granger we should either discuss a safer topic or go to sleep," he suggested as he stole glances at her exposed legs. His breath hitched softly when he caught a glimpse of the sweet spot between her legs.

"Alright, a safe subject, huh?" she asked and looked down his legs. "You have nice feet." The complete difference in subject caught him off guard and he looked up at her face as if she had sprouted another head.

"What? My feet?"

"Yes, you have very nice feet. It's a pet peeve of mine. Nice feet and all," she said causing him to lift his foot slightly to look at it.

"What is nice about my feet?" he asked curiously.

"They are nice and slim with very smooth skin or so it looks, but the best thing about them is your toenails," she said.

"My toenails?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. They are perfectly cut, clean, and healthy. If you ever see Ron's feet you'll understand. His feet are calloused badly and he doesn't clean them very well. His toenails are discolored and it's kind of gross, plus a lot of the time they smell like stale corn chips," she said frankly and jumped when she heard him let out a real laugh. His baritone voice was rich and this time his laugh was genuine. Hermione felt her heart swell as she listened to him.

"I assume that means that you dare not touch Mr. Weasley's feet at all?"

"I try not to go _near_ his feet. I don't know what is worse, honestly…his feet or his constant gas! It's terrible!" she said in disgust.

Severus felt a real smile cross his face for the first time in a long time and Hermione was happy to see it. He looked incredibly handsome when he smiled. He looked over at her and she could see real humor in his eyes for once.

"Does Mr. Weasley know what you think of him?" he asked. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Yes, I tell him quite often about his disgusting habits," she replied. Professor Snape gave a small smirk and they relapsed into silence for a few minutes.

"Miss Granger, I know that you have a desire to understand me for some unknown reason, but there are things about me that you must not know nor should you and for that reason I cannot allow myself to become close to you," he said quietly. Hermione turned to face him, staring into his dark intense eyes.

"Pro…Severus," she said softly, surprising him slightly, but did not object to her using his name. "I know that you look at me as your student, but I am someone of age. You have obviously been someone who has been judged wrongly all your life, but I am not the kind of person to judge you the same way."

"You don't even know anything about me," he said with a slight sneer. Hermione looked down at the sheets, biting her bottom lip.

"You're wrong."

"What?" he asked, his tone hardening slightly.

"I said your wrong."

"Really? Do tell," he replied.

"You were tormented when you were a child," she said softly.

"You don't even know what you're saying," he said dismissively, but inside, his heart was racing.

_Does she know? How?_

"I do know. I know about your friendship with Lily Evans and I know that the friendship was on the edge, but when she found out what happened between you and Sirius Black, she completely disowned you," she said and saw his eyes flash.

"What do you know of it? Who told you?" he hissed.

"I can't tell you who told me and I do not know what happened between Sirius and you that would make her abandon you but that is only part of it," she said sincerely and then reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it toward her. He frowned, wondering what she was doing until he felt her push his sleeve up. His gasped and went to jerk his hand back, but she held onto him. "I also know about this." Hermione knew that she was now walking a very dangerous line but she had to let him know that she was not judging him like everyone else had. Her fingertips touched the scars and ran lightly up his forearm.

"How?" he asked hoarsely.

"I did something I shouldn't have," she admitted causing his eyes to narrow.

"What?"

"I snuck into your room while you were passed out on the chair. You were drunk," she said softly and saw his eyes harden.

"How dare you! Why would you do that?" he snapped, jerking his hand free and rolling down his sleeve.

"Because I care about you. I have for a long time and you worry me," she said softly.

"Who have you told?" he asked.

"No one," she said even though she had discussed it with Remus, she didn't outright tell him but instead he had guessed so technically she wasn't really lying.

"You understand nothing of this!" he said coldly.

"I don't understand what it's like to be in your position but I have a suspicion why you do it," she said, looking back into his eyes.

"What suspicion is that?" he sneered.

"You don't talk about your parents at all and I know it's not because it's a personal matter. You hate them. You hate them for what they did to you," she replied and saw his eyes widen a fraction.

"What do you think they did to me, Miss Granger? Do you always have to be such a fucking know-it-all?" he hissed.

"I am not a know-it-all because I do not know everything. I suspect based on how you act. I suspect based on what I saw in that house. That was your blood on the floor, wasn't it?" Hermione saw him stiffen and his jaw clench. "The basement was your room. Those…devices…were used on you."

"You don't know anything!" he yelled, trying to deny it. Hermione could hear the fear in his voice and see it in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

"I do know it. There was proof," she said softly and watched him as he sat on the edge of the bed with his back facing her.

"None of that is proof that it was me," he said, feeling his stomach churn uncomfortably.

Hermione knew that this was where she needed to come clean. Swallowing down her fear, she reached over and grabbed her coat from the heap on the floor and pulled the photograph from her pocket. Just looking at it again made her want to be sick but she scooted closer to her Professor, despite his stiff and warning posture.

"I know it was you," she whispered and tentatively held the picture out before him.

Everything seemed to freeze as he stared down at the photo with wide eyes. His own five year old, tear filled eyes stared back up at him. His father had taken the picture of him when he had forced Severus to take him into his mouth. His hands trembled as he slowly reached out and took the picture. Embarrassment flooded through him as well as fear before it quickly turned to rage.

"Funny, isn't it?" he hissed, glaring coldly at her.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"That your evil, cruel, Death Eater Potions Master grew up with a cock in his mouth!" he snarled, his eyes gleaming maliciously.

"No! It isn't funny and I would never laugh at you," she said firmly, jumping off the bed to stand in front of him. She boldly cupped his face and forced him to look up at her. "How can you think that I would find this amusing? Do you really think that low of me?"

"You were never supposed to know," he hissed, grabbing her wrists.

"I know, but now I do know," she said softly.

"Until I 'Obliviate' you!" he snapped and jerked away from her, getting up to get his wand, but Hermione quickly blocked him. She tripped him, causing him to fall back onto the bed only causing his temper to flare even more. Hermione quickly crawled on top of him and used all her strength to pin his arms above his head.

"Please, listen to me," she pleaded.

"Get. Off. Of. Me. Now."

"No, not until you listen," she said firmly, feeling the coarse fabric of his trousers rub the spot between her legs. She desperately tried to push her inappropriate thoughts to the side as she focused on getting through to the Potions Master.

"I'm warning you…"

"Severus, please," she said softly.

"Don't use my name!" he snapped.

"Don't 'obliviate' me, please. I am not going to tell anyone," Hermione said, her body leaning over his as she stared into his eyes.

"Why do you want to keep this knowledge? Do you get some sick satisfaction out of it?" he snarled, knowing that he could easily push her off of him but was waiting until he felt it was the right moment.

"No, I am not getting any kind of satisfaction out of the knowledge. You have kept this a secret all your life and have never let anyone in. Doesn't it get tiring after a while? Don't you want to be able to confide in someone?" she asked.

"I am not a weak person who needs to be coddled because of my parents sick perversions!" he snapped.

"Cutting yourself is a weakness," she replied and saw his eyes glow with fury. "I don't want to coddle you, but I do want to be a friend if nothing else."

"A _friend_?" he sneered.

"Yes, a friend. Someone you could talk to and trust. Please, trust me. I'm not a bad person," Hermione said, shifting her hips slightly and causing him to let out a small gasp.

"Miss Granger, I do not trust anyone," he said, but his tone had lost its edge.

Hermione let go of his wrists and ran her hands down his arms and over his chest, her fingers running over his small erect nipples beneath the white fabric causing him to suck in a sharp breath. He watched her as her eyes roamed over his chest before looking up at his face and gasping in surprise when she finally noticed that he was staring at her intensely. Her face went scarlet and she looked away from his searching gaze.

"I do not like the fact that you have knowledge of my childhood, however I will not 'obliviate' you on one condition."

"What condition?" she asked timidly, looking up at his gaunt face again.

"I want something embarrassing of yours in return. Something that you would not want anyone to know," he said knowing that Minerva would kill him if he forced her into something like an Unbreakable Vow.

"What is it that you want?" she asked uncertainly.

"I'll have to think about it," he said coldly bringing his hands up to grip her thighs. She unconsciously sat deeper on his lap, causing his now very hard cock to rub the spot between her legs.

"Oh," she gasped softly.

"Did you forget that I am a man?" he snarled.

"No…" she said breathily. Then suddenly an evil smirk crossed his face and his eyes gleamed.

"Tell me something, Miss Granger. Has anyone ever seen you masturbate?" he asked, grinding hips against hers.

"Oh god!" she gasped. "No…never!" Hermione felt his fingers digging into her thighs as he pushed her down on him.

"Why not?" he asked coldly, his actions completely throwing her off balance, especially while he remained cold and almost indifferent.

"What do you mean, why not? That's a deeply person thing! I can't…I can't…do that in front of someone!" she said in shock. He chuckled darkly and she felt her face pale as he stopped grinding against her and sat up with Hermione still in his lap.

_He can't possibly want me to…_

"I think I know what I want from you," he sneered.

"No! No way! I can't do that!" she gasped, shaking her head.

"Then I get to _obliviate_ you," he hissed.

"No! It's just…that's so inappropriate," she said uncertainly and was suddenly shoved off of him.

"Everything between us is inappropriate!" he snarled and grabbed his wand.

"You can't! What if _they_ find us?" she shrieked.

"I don't care! I'll apparate us out of here!"

"Why the hell do you want me to masturbate in front of you?" she asked, her cheeks flaming.

"Why? Because you have pushed me too far, because you have done nothing but tease me, you have done nothing but entice me and since I am a sick perverted bastard, I want you to fuck yourself in front of me," he snapped angrily. "You flounce around with your sweet smelling cunt and expect me not to react? Here you are in nothing more than a towel pretending to be the innocent Gryffindor princess and you expect me not to have a reaction of some kind? I am a man contrary to popular belief!" He was raging, his frustrations spilling forth without thought.

"Prof-I mean, Severus-"

"Do you think that I feel nothing? I have had to endure my mother and fathers torment from the age of three till the day I left! I have had to protect you spoiled brats from your own ignorance! I had to be subjected to two masters! I am not a man given luxuries!" he yelled, his eyes blazing until he actually looked at Hermione Granger who was staring at him wide eyed, mouth agape, with tears streaming down her face. It then registered what he had said and he felt his own eyes go wide. Severus had just thoroughly embarrassed himself and told the girl things he had never meant to expose. He had to 'obliviate' her now, but as he lifted his wand to point at her, she placed a soft hand on his white knuckles and gently pushed his hand back down.

"I'll do what you ask…"

His eyes widened in surprise and he stared at her in disbelief. For the first time in a long time he was quite unsure of himself. She was still a student and he had no business asking her to do any of those things despite his desire to see her touch herself.

"No. Forgive me, Miss Granger," he said hoarsely. "I should never have said such things to you."

"It's alright…"

"It's not alright. Do not speak of this with anyone," he warned icily before laying back and facing away from her so she could not see the vulnerable expression on his face. He couldn't believe himself. How could he have lost control like that? He was a teacher for Merlin's sake and he had asked for her to masturbate in front of him in exchange for her knowledge on his childhood. Severus felt as though he were truly sick. He would just have to obliviate her later.


	16. Chapter 15

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 15**

Hermione lay in bed, thinking about her Professor who lay only about a foot and a half from her. She couldn't shake what he had said nor could she forget about the picture that she had recently given back to him. Nibbling on her bottom lip in thought, she rolled over so she was facing his backside. Despite the dark room, lit by the barest of moonlight shining in the window, she could see his body tense, proving her suspicion of him being awake.

"Professor?" she said softly, but received no reply. Licking her lips, she scooted closer to him. His body became rigid and she was sure that he was close to jumping off the bed to get away from her. "Professor?"

"I am warning you, Granger. Get the hell away from me," he snarled.

"I'm cold," she lied.

"So cover yourself with a blanket. You're the one who decided to sleep in the bloody towel," he replied tersely.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"No. Go to sleep," he snapped.

Hermione knew that she was pushing it with him, but she felt a need to get close to him. Swallowing her nervousness, she opened the towel, uncovering herself and snuggled against him. She heard his sharp intake of breath and his body remained taut as a bowstring.

"Granger! Remove yourself from my person this instant!" he snapped.

"I'm comfortable."

"I don't give a fuck! Get away from me now!"

Hermione could hear the malice in his voice and decided that touching him was probably not the best way to go. She scooted away from him about a foot and lay on her back, looking over at him.

"Why won't you let someone in?" she asked softly.

"This conversation is inappropriate!" he said irritably.

"I think we've covered this before," she said in annoyance.

"Shut up, Granger! Do something with yourself and leave me be!" he snapped angrily.

Hermione lay there for a moment, thinking. The room was cold and her nipples were hard and aching. Licking her lips again, she raised her hand to rest on her breast, letting her fingers graze one of her nipples. Swallowing, she rolled her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, causing a wave of pleasure to roll through her. She kept her eyes on Snape's shadowed figure as she let her hands roam over her breasts and stomach. She couldn't help but take pleasure in the fact that she was doing something so completely wrong in his presence. Carefully, she spread her legs slightly and slid her hand down her stomach and between her thighs. Her fingers dipped slightly between her folds and she brushed the sensitive bud, causing her hips to buck gently.

"Granger? What the hell are you doing?" Professor Snape asked.

"Nothing," she said breathlessly.

"You're lying," he replied, uncertainty in his voice. He wanted to roll over and look at her, but something was telling him that he shouldn't. Then he heard a soft groan and his eyes widened to the point they hurt. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Mmm…I'm doing what you…wanted me to do…"

"I said not to!" he snapped in panic.

"Mmm…but I want to. I need to…" she whispered, as she rubbed small circles over her sensitive clit.

Professor Snape listened in agony to her soft pants and felt his erection pushing painfully against the rough material of his trousers. He nearly groaned out loud when he caught her sweet scent.

"Damn you, Granger! You fucking tease!" he snapped.

"You wanted me to do…mmm….something with myself…so…I'm…oh…doing it," she gasped as she increased speed.

"Stop! Stop this now!" he said angrily, but there was the sound of desperation in his voice.

"No. Touch me," she whispered.

"I beg your pardon?" Now Hermione was uncertain of herself, wondering if perhaps she was wrong in her interpretations of his previous comments and actions, but she felt far too involved to back out now. She needed release.

"I want you to touch me," she breathed, looking at his rigid figure in the shadows.

"Granger, this is not funny. Stop this nonsense immediately or I will make you regret it," he said, his voice deadly.

Hermione rolled onto her side to face him and sat up on her knees. Throwing caution to the wind, she put her hand on his shoulder and hip and forced him to roll onto his back. She couldn't believe the desperation she felt as she grabbed his hand before he could fully comprehend what she was doing.

"What the fu-" he stopped in mid sentence when she placed his hand on her breast. His eyes were wide and his jaw was slack at the sight of her naked body next to his in the moonlight from the window. The feel of her soft breast under his hand was driving him mad but he knew that he needed to stop this before it went too far. Severus jerked his hand away and shoved her back violently. "Don't ever touch me again, Granger!"

Hermione was shocked that he had seemingly wanted her earlier and now appeared to not even want to look at her. Embarrassment flooded through her and she felt all her previous desire and built up sexual tension leave her body. Snape stood up and paced the dark room, cursing her. Silent tears streamed down her face and she tried not to think of the ache his rejection had caused.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered.

"Sorry? You act like some wanton whore, forcing me to touch you and you're fucking sorry?" he yelled. "I do not like to be forced into anything for reasons you unfortunately know!"

Hermione felt ashamed suddenly and pulled the towel around herself. She couldn't believe that she had done that without even taking his feelings into consideration.

"I won't ever do that again. I don't know…what I was thinking," she said, not able to look at him. Hermione lay back and pulled the covers up just past her chin, rolling onto her side so that her back was facing his side of the bed. She could hear him still cursing her and it mortified her to think that she still had to work with him on a daily basis. She didn't know how she was going to face him after this.

Hermione glanced at his dark figure as he stalked over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. It was then that she sobbed softly into the pillow because of her own shameful acts. She would never be able to get close to him now. How could he ever trust her? It was quite a while before Snape emerged from the bathroom and walked back over to the bed. She was sure that he had probably cut himself while in there and it hurt her more to know that it was because of her. Hermione tightened the blanket around her as Snape lay back down without a word. She didn't dare say anything to him.

Severus lay back down and looked over at the lump under the covers. His young apprentice hadn't made a peep since he stalked off to the bathroom. He wasn't sure what he should say or do. He had gone to the bathroom and cut himself only a couple of times in frustration, but didn't have the heart to continue it. He was torn on how he should feel about what she had done. On one hand, he believed it to be wrong especially since she was still a student and he didn't like to be forced into anything, but on the other hand he knew that he wanted that woman. Severus couldn't deny that he wanted to slide his hand between her legs and thrust his finger inside of her, but his lack of physical contact and experience made him uncertain on how to proceed. Sighing, he lay there, waiting to see if she would say anything, but she didn't.

The next morning, they both got up and Hermione went to the bathroom and dressed. She didn't say a word nor did she look at him. Severus felt as though he should say something to her but he was unsure of what. Once she was dressed and ready, he handed her back her wand and stood before her.

"Hold onto me, I am going to apparate us back to the gates," he said tonelessly. Hermione didn't move and he was quickly beginning to lose his patience. Growling softly, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him so her body was flush against his. Without another word, he apparated them to the gates.

Much to his disappoint, the young Gryffindor immediately stepped back from him and hurried through the gates. Severus surveyed the area and didn't see any threats so he made his way to the castle, staying a few yards back from his apprentice. He knew that he would have to go see the Headmistress immediately, but a part of him wanted to wait and speak with the Granger girl, however it was obvious that she wasn't in the mood to talk.

Hermione Granger did not come out of her room all day nor did she come out for dinner. She didn't care what Professor Snape had to say about it because she was not ready to face him just yet. She sat curled up on her sofa with Crookshanks in her lap as she stared at the blinking lights of her Christmas tree. Shame kept her from leaving the room. The young Gryffindor looked down at the only Slytherin wrapped box and wondered what he was going to say when she gave it to him. Actually, she was beginning to wonder if she could still give it to him. Knowing him, he would probably throw it at her before he hexed her six ways to hell.

The next few days were hectic as Hermione kept to herself. She noticed that Snape was much more irritable, but she did her best to ignore it. Every once in a while, she would catch him looking at her with a calculating expression, but he made no move toward her. Hermione walked down the dark corridor toward the lab, preparing for a day of potion brewing. When she walked in, she was shocked to see Professor Snape sitting at his desk with his head down on his arms, asleep. Her brows shot up and it took a moment before she was able to take her eyes off of him and walk to her table.

_ Twelve year old Severus Snape had been reading one of his school books when his father had come down into the basement to deal his punishment. The young boy was bent over on all fours, his hands tied to a water pipe as his father squatted down behind him and thrust his fingers into his tiny opening, stretching him. The boy did not cry until he felt his father shoving a fourth finger inside him. Then, his resolve began to break and his lower lip trembled as his father's brutality reached a new level. Severus felt his small opening being stretched more painfully than he had ever imagined. Every time he heard his father grunt he felt even more disgusted than before. _

"_I'm gonna make you scream, boy!" his father growled. Severus gasped as he felt his father's fingers thrust brutally inside him causing his body to spasm painfully. _

"_Stop! Damn you! Stop!" he cried out, trying hard to fight back the tears. His father grunted and suddenly pulled his fingers out and shoved his cock inside of Severus. His father thrust madly into him before pulling out and shoving his fingers back inside the boy. Severus cried out, but when his father suddenly thrust his cock inside of him with his fingers still in place, Severus let out a terrible cry. His father kept his fingers inside his son and thrust his cock against them, stretching Severus to a painful point. _

_ The cries that came from young Severus, echoed throughout the basement as his father brutalized him beyond his wildest imagination. Tears streamed down his face as he silently pleaded with God to let the pain be over soon and his father be done. Luckily, his prayers were answered and with a loud grunt, his father pulled out and spilled his seed all over Severus's back and rear. Without a word, his father left, leaving the boy on the cold concrete floor, trembling with his eyes focusing on nothing and quickly losing their light as his innocence slipped away. _

Severus bolted awake and fell out of his chair, crying out from the shock of the horrible dream. His face was covered in sweat and he was breathing heavily. He barely recognized his young apprentice at his side with a look of complete concern on her face. His hands trembled as he ran them over his face, trying to gain control of himself.

"Professor? Are you alright?" Hermione asked in concern, pushing her embarrassment aside. He didn't answer and it worried her even more. She placed her hand on his knee which caused him to flinch. "Severus?" His given name seemed to grab his attention and he looked at her in confusion for a moment before his eyes narrowed.

"Get away from me, Granger," he snarled, as his cheeks tinged red.

"Sir, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," she said softly.

"Get. Away. From. Me. Now," he said in a cold and clear voice. Hermione's nostrils flared and then her eyes narrowed.

"You're a bastard!" she retorted icily and snatched her hand away before turning to walk away, but he quickly reached out and grabbed her leg angrily causing her to trip.

"You little-" he was immediately cut off when he heard a loud thud and turned to see that she had hit her head against his desk and was now bleeding from her temple. His eyes widened and he quickly scrambled to her to see if she was alright, but his heart plummeted to his stomach when he saw her eyes rolling uncontrollably. "Granger! Granger!" He was disturbed at how desperate his voice sounded, but fear that he had severely injured her crept up on him. He quickly slipped his arm underneath her head and grabbed his wand with his other wand. The girl struggled against him in reflex and blindly flailed her arms to push him away, but she didn't seem to consciously know what she was doing.

Severus quickly cast a series of healing charms, sealing the wound and causing Hermione to stop fighting him. Her eyes closed and she seemingly began to recover, but he knew that he would have to get her a couple of healing potions to accompany the wand work.

"Hermione," he whispered, surprised at how tender the name sounded from his lips. The girl stirred and her eyes fluttered for a moment, before she was able to open them and look up at him. She was surprised to see how close he was to her, with a look of concern on his face.

"W-what happened?" she croaked softly.

"I...you called me a bastard and I went to grab you…but I caused you to fall and you hit your head," he admitted, knowing that he could get into serious trouble for it because it was basically assaulting a student.

"Oh…"

Hermione cringed at the throbbing that coursed through her head now and was vaguely aware of Professor Snape carrying her. It took a moment before she realized that she was being placed on a soft sofa that was not her own. Hermione looked around in confusion and recognized it as Snape's quarters.

"Stay here. I will get you something for the pain," he said and with a whirl of black robes, disappeared out the door.

Hermione looked around the room, but couldn't take everything in because of how dizzy she was from the pain. Touching her head carefully, she grimaced when a sharp sting went down her spine. It was Christmas Eve and this was certainly not how she wanted to spend it. She barely responded when Professor Snape walked back in with a couple of vials in his hand.

"Drink these," he said and thrust them in her face. She took them carefully, brushing her finger tips against his, causing him to gasp softly before she downed both of them. She closed her eyes as the potions worked through her bloodstream.

"Thank you," she whispered softly, feeling the relief flood through her.

"You are welcome," he replied curtly and sat down next to her, burying his head in his hands. "Miss Granger…I did not mean…to hurt you."

"I know. I shouldn't have called you a bastard. I was just making sure you were alright earlier, that's all," she said softly.

"You really need to stop being concerned for my welfare," he replied evenly without looking at her.

"You really need to stop pushing people away," she said in exasperation. He turned to glare at her, but she surprised him by reaching up and brushing his hair behind his ear. He had been so shocked that he didn't even respond. He just stared. "I know you're angry with me…but I wish you would at least try to let me in."

"Why? What is the point?" he asked warily.

"Because I think you need someone in your life that isn't judgmental of you," she said softly, running the back of her fingers down his cheek.

"That will never happen," he finally said coldly and grabbed her wrist.

"It won't if you don't let it," she replied.

"Stop this nonsense, Granger!" he snapped and thrust her hand away from him. Severus ran his hands over his face and through his hair in frustration.

"Professor, why don't you at least give it a try," she whispered and stood up. Hermione turned to look down at her Professor, but he kept his eyes to the ground. His head was about where her breasts were. "I'm not as bad as you might think." Her voice was soft and gentle and before she could change her mind, she bent down as she cupped his face. Lifting his face, she brought her lips down and kissed the corner of his mouth, further surprising him, before she turned and went to her room.


	17. Chapter 16

**I am really really sorry for the delay. My main computer crashed again so I have not been able to update. I was able to recover some files from the crashed hard drive but not all of them and unfortunately even lost the majority of chapters to a new story so I apologize. Also for those requesting the original story I am sure that I have it backed up somewhere but please be patient with me as I have to track down the disk now. :( Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

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**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 16**

Hermione touched her lips which still tingled from where she had kissed her Professor and wondered if he was angry with her. She wanted him badly. It was still early, but she felt like lighting up her Christmas tree anyway so she did and dimmed the rest of the lights so her tree glowed brightly in her room. Hermione stood in front of it and watched the lights blink rapidly but her heart nearly stopped when she heard her door open. She didn't bother turning around because she knew who it was, but her heart was racing. She felt him come up just behind her.

"I was unaware that you placed a tree in here," he said softly.

"Yes. I love Christmas trees. I always have," she replied and glanced at him. He was staring at it with a strange look on his face. "Sir, have you ever had a Christmas tree?" The question seemed to jar him out of his thoughts. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head, looking away from the bright lights.

"No. My parents never permitted me to have a tree as a child and as I got older, I never found the time to care," he said coldly.

"You can stay with me and enjoy this tree," she offered.

"I am too old for such things," he replied sourly.

"You are not too old to enjoy Christmas," she said and turned to look at him as he sat down on her sofa. He merely glared at her. "Stay with me for Christmas." It came out in a whisper but he heard it. His eyes met hers and he frowned.

"Why? I am not pleasant company and I don't like Christmas," he sneered. Hermione bit her bottom lip and looked down at her feet.

"You may not be the most pleasant company, but I still want your company none the less. As for Christmas, how do you know if you like it or not when you have never been able to celebrate it?" His sharp exhale meant that he was not happy about her question, but she had to try and get through to him.

"Miss Granger, just what kind of affection do you hold for me?" he asked, his voice toneless.

"I…I…just…um…I care about you…as my teacher…"

"No, you are lying. The way you speak to me…touch me…it suggests much more than just a simple affection for a teacher. You mentioned once that you had a crush on me. Did you ever get over it?" His eyes bore into her and she had to look away and swallow hard as she tried to think of what to say to him. However, this time, she was sure that she had been caught.

"Um…it doesn't matter. I care about you regardless," she said, avoiding the question.

"It does matter so answer the question," he said dangerously. Hermione started to back away, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to him. She stumbled and fell against him and in struggling against him, found her legs straddled around his. "Answer me!" Hermione realized that he wasn't about to let up. Then he reached up and grabbed her behind her neck, pulling her face toward his. Her eyes widened and she found herself staring into his near black eyes.

"What ar-"

"Legilimens!"

Hermione gasped as he began sifting through her mind. Her breathing became erratic as he looked through the memories of her finding the photograph, staring at him in class, thinking about him. She felt terror run through her when he saw the memory of her touching herself while screaming his name. Hermione knew that she was in trouble when he found the memory of her and Remus talking.

"No!" she gasped and without realizing what she was doing, pushed him out of her mind and found herself in his.

_A young Severus Snape, not more than eight years old, was thrown against the dining room table and brutally raped by a man that looked similar to him. The young boy screamed in pain and thrashed wildly about while his mother just stood at the counter, preparing food. Severus grabbed a butter knife from the table and suddenly thrust it back and stabbed his father in the leg._

"_You little son of a bitch!" he yelled and punched his son in the face before throwing him to the ground. Severus scrambled to pull his pants up, but his father took the cutting knife from his wife and slashed at his son, cutting his abdomen and slicing his way down. "You'll pay for that!" The man suddenly sliced the boy's penis from the shaft to the head and the scream that Severus let out was like nothing ever heard before. Blood covered him and he was on the verge of passing out until his father grabbed him by the hair and forced himself into his mouth, thrusting madly until he released with a loud disgusting grunt. _

_ It took everything Severus had to crawl to the bathroom, vomiting on himself as he did so. Despite the pain, he grabbed a sewing needle and began to stitch himself back together. Using the last of his strength, he grabbed a healing potion that was kept in the bottom cabinet and downed it before promptly passing out…_

Hermione was thrust out of Professor Snape's mind violently before being pushed to the floor. She gasped in pain and barely registered her Professor fleeing from the room. Her heart was beating wildly and her breathing was uneven after the horrible memory she had witnessed. Turning to the door, she got up and quickly ran into his room where she could hear a loud crashing noise coming from the bedroom. Without caring, she burst into his room to see it in shambles and him slicing angrily at his forearm.

"Severus!" she cried, catching his attention.

"HOW DARE YOU!" he bellowed and pointed his wand at her. "Obl-" He was cut off by her disarming him and sending his wand flying.

"Please! Stop this!" she cried.

"You little bitch!" he seethed and stalked toward her.

"Please…don't," she pleaded, but he grabbed her roughly by the shirt and dragged her to her room again, throwing her down in front of the Christmas tree.

"I don't want to see your fucking face anymore!" he yelled.

"You did this!" she yelled through her tears. His eyes narrowed but he merely turned and started to walk away until Hermione got up and with all her might pushed him onto the sofa. Before he could react, she waved her wand and tied his feet and hands. His eyes widened in shock as she plucked the knife from his fingers and threw it across the room before casting a silencing spell on her rooms.

"I am going to kill you!" he snapped angrily. Hermione turned to him, tears streaming down her cheeks and approached carefully.

"I am sorry for this, but you need to listen," she said softly, choking back the tears.

"You insolent little brat! I don't have to do anything!" he yelled.

"You went into my mind, Professor! I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't mean to see that!" she cried.

"It doesn't matter does it?" he sneered nastily. "Lupin, already told you about me!" His eyes were manic and his face was pulled into an ugly sneer. Normally, Hermione would have been terrified, and a part of her was, but the tears that glazed his eyes were what kept her from running.

"Did you not listen to the whole conversation or were you just looking for a reason to hate me?" she asked angrily, standing in front of him.

"Oh yes…about how you _fell in love_ with me," he spat. "I would have expected better from you, Granger. Apparently, I was sorely mistaken. You don't even know me."

"That's because you won't give me a chance to know you," she said tiredly.

"I don't want you to know me! I don't need pity from you just because my father used me as his fucking plaything while my mother watched!" he yelled, struggling with the magical binds. "Do you think this is funny? Finding out your Potions Master was his father's bitch? Going to tell your little friends now, are you?" His eyes were lit up with a fury that she had yet to witness before, but there was fear. His eyes were glittering with tears but he was fighting to not let them fall.

"Severus…"

"DON'T USE MY NAME!" he bellowed angrily. Hermione finally lost her temper.

"I'LL USE YOUR NAME ANY TIME I FUCKING WANT!" she screamed causing him to look at her in surprise by her outburst. She didn't care how angry she made him at this point because she couldn't undo what she knew and even if she could he would still be angry with her and she wouldn't know why. "Se-ver-us," he glared at her for mocking him, "I know that what I saw was personal and wrong. I didn't mean to, honestly. As far as what Remus and I discussed, I have kept it to myself. I haven't told anyone and I haven't even asked you about it. Don't you understand that I am worried about you."

"You don't nee-"

"Yes, I do! You know why? It's because you don't worry about yourself!" she snapped, causing him to narrow his eyes to slits. "Look at what you do to yourself when you're angry." Hermione gestured to his bleeding arms that were currently tied behind his back.

"Fuck you, Granger! You cannot even begin to understand!"

"No, I can't. My parents have always been good to me so I cannot say that I know what you're going through and I will never lie and say that I do. I understand why you are bitter and you have self hatred, but I don't know what it's like not to be loved by my family," she said softly. "I want to understand you…I want to care about you…and I want you to accept me."

"You are my fucking student," he snapped.

"I am an adult," she replied. "I had a crush on you in second year and it has _never_ gone away. Do you have any idea what that means? I've already proven that you can be loved, but you don't know how to accept it."

"I don't want to accept it," he spat angrily. "If I was to ever entertain the silly notion of _love_, it will not be with you! I can't stand the sight of you!" He knew it was a blatant lie but at the moment he wanted to hurt her for seeing what she had seen.

Hermione felt her heart break and looked away to hide the tears, but they fell anyway. Sniffing softly, she summoned Snape's wand and released him of the bonds. Without a word, she handed the ebony wood back to him and quickly went through her bedroom to her bathroom where she shut the door and slid to the ground. Tears streamed down her face as she silently cried, but as the words kept running through her head, she couldn't help the sob that escaped her. Once it came out, it was non-stop and she cried in earnest with her knees drawn up and her head in her arms. Hermione hadn't realized that she had forgotten to cast a silencing spell on the room and didn't know that Severus Snape was standing just inside her bedroom, listening to what he had done.

The Potions Master swallowed hard and clenched his jaw to keep his emotions in check, but listening to her heart wrenching sobs tore at him. He had lied to her. He had told her that he basically never wanted anything to do with her, but he had lied. She was the only one that he wanted anything to do with at all, but he was afraid. The idea of 'love' terrified him because he didn't know what it truly felt like. He didn't know how to return it.

Looking around the room, he silently debated on what to do. Severus knew he shouldn't have pushed her away. Ever since she had admitted knowing about what happened to him, he felt somewhat relieved. It was not because she knew. No, not just that. It was the fact that she knew and didn't judge him. She knew about his disfigurement and she had never acted disgusted with him. In fact, he was shocked to find that she was actually still aroused by him. Her sobs were softer now and it tore at him even more as he debated on whether or not he should listen to what Professor McGonagall had said and enjoy the female company he had. There was no other woman he would rather be with or spend time with, but he didn't think that he would be any good for her.

Sighing in frustration and exhaustion, he walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge of it, waiting for Hermione to come out. He buried his head in his hands and tried to ignore the stab of pain in his heart every time he heard her sob. Surprisingly, he waited for her even after an hour…he waited for her to emerge.

Hermione had finally stopped crying and was just staring at the porcelain toilet in the corner. So many images ran through her head, but each happy thought had turned cold and cruel with Snape telling her how much he hated her and was disgusted with her. It took an hour for her to finally get up enough strength to stand and wash her face. She looked at her red nose and swollen eyes and shook her head. With a wave of her wand, she was able to lessen the swelling and redness, but it was still obvious that she had cried.

"What were you expecting?" she whispered to herself. "Why would he ever want a plain little thing like you?" Her voice was so quiet that she wouldn't have even known the words came from her if she hadn't seen her lips moving.

Trying to ignore the painful clench in her heart, she opened the door to walk back out into bedroom. She gasped and took a step back when she saw Professor Snape sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at her with an unreadable expression.

"W-what are you doing i-in here?" she asked, gripping her wand tightly.

"I wanted to speak with you," was his soft reply.

"How l-long have you been t-there?" she stammered uncomfortably.

"Ever since you went into the bathroom. I was listening to you."

Hermione's face flushed red and she looked away from him, ashamed before her shame finally turned into anger. She walked out of her room and to her kitchen, in desperate need of some tea.

"Miss Granger…"

"Don't talk to me. Just leave. I'm done with you!" she snapped angrily, ignoring the fresh tears that came with that statement. Severus actually felt the sting of her words deep in his chest and flinched even though she didn't see it.

"Hermione…" The girl whirled around and glared at him.

"Don't use _my_ given name, _Professor_. I no longer wish to be around you and I can't stand the sight of you!" she hissed. His eyes widened a fraction in surprise. He didn't understand why her words hurt him so much. "I think I will take back my offer because I do not want to spend Christmas with a sour selfish bastard like yourself. In fact, I don't want a fucking Christmas at all now!" Her voice had become sharp and higher pitch before she angrily pointed her wand at her Christmas tree and blasted it into pieces. The gifts were also sent across the room, narrowly missing Severus's head. Hermione acted as though she hadn't seen the look of hurt on his face when she blasted the tree to pieces.

"I didn't me-"

"YES YOU DID!" she screamed. "You hate me! I never wanted you to find out how much I cared about you because I knew you would just hurt me! Why did you go through my fucking mind? You have no idea how much you have hurt me! I hate you for this! You should have left me the fuck alone! This is why I didn't want the apprenticeship." Tears had split forth again, but this time she was angry. Her fantasies were ruined now because of what he had said to her and her heart ached like nothing she had ever felt in her life.

"I…" he trailed off, not quite knowing what to say.

"Get out! Just leave! I don't want to be near you! Don't talk to me, don't bother me, don't do anything for me. I will talk to Headmistress McGonagall and do everything I can to get that fucking contract I signed revoked!" she yelled and when he didn't move, she screamed. "GET OUT!"

Severus was at a loss of what to do, so he did what she told him and walked out of her room. He flinched when he heard the door slam shut and could feel the magical wards activate. He knew that he was wrong for invading her mind, but damn…he had never wanted her to see that memory. His father destroyed what was left of Severus's dignity and self confidence, the moment he cut him on the one part of his body that defined his masculinity. It was embarrassing and shameful and now the girl knew about it. But why did he have to hold it against her? Why did he say those things to her?

Hermione stood in her living room amongst the shattered pieces of Christmas ornaments, broken lights, and tree pieces. The gifts were still intact, but they were scattered all over her sitting room and for once, she did not feel like repairing the damage. She would just leave it be because this was the worst Christmas she had ever had and she no longer felt the Christmas cheer.


	18. Chapter 17

**AUTHORS NOTE: I feel terrible that I haven't updated in a while so I posted two chapters to make up for that. My original computer crashed and it has been difficult to recover files and I even had to rewrite two other stories that I have been working on for so long. For those who requested the original to this story, I am sorry for the delay but as soon as I find the back up disk I will send them to you because after the computer crash I lost everything! So sorry for the delay! **

**P  
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**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 17**

Severus ran his hands through his hair and paced his room. His arm was covered in dried blood and his sleeves were torn up, but at that moment, he didn't care. He prowled around his room, trying to think of what to do.

"I'm not a romantic…I don't know what to do…but I don't hate her…not at all…maybe I should buy her something, but what? Why do I care so much about her bloody forgiveness?" he snapped at himself.

_Because you have some sort of feelings for her, that's why you bloody idiot! She's the only one that knows and who has accepted you._

Pulling his hair in frustration, he went to his room and quickly got out a change of clothes. He didn't even bother thinking about the knife she had thrown across her room. In fact, hurting himself anymore was the last thing on his mind right now.

Severus grabbed his cloak once he was dressed, grabbed a small black pouch from his desk and left his rooms in hurry. He didn't even bother saying anything to the staff members he saw in the corridors as he rushed by them. They looked at him curiously, but he was out on the grounds before anyone could say anything. He hurried to the gates and quickly apparated to Diagon Alley.

Minerva watched him from the tower and frowned. It looked as though he was on a mission and it concerned her because he almost never left the castle anymore. She turned and looked at the portrait of Albus, who was watching her thoughtfully.

"Any thoughts?" she asked. "Severus, just took off to the gates and apparated away." Albus frowned.

"Severus has many demons to deal with, Minerva. I do not know the man as well as I had hoped to. Perhaps, Miss Granger has gotten to him more than he cares to admit," Albus said softly.

"Perhaps. I don't know who to be more concerned about, him or her?" she said tiredly.

"Mmm…Miss Granger is quite strong…"

"Albus, a broken heart can be devastating. I don't think Hermione is strong enough to not feel the effects of it," she argued.

"Oh I know. Just imagine how Severus must feel after everything he has gone through," Albus pointed out. Minerva looked down at her desk and nodded solemnly.

"I know…"

Severus felt the sting of rejection for the first time in years as several shop owners kicked him out of their stores. Feeling even more lost and frustrated, he apparated to muggle London and eyed the muggle mall. He hadn't been to shops in the muggle world for nearly fifteen years. Swallowing, he opened the pouch to see his usual stash of 100 galleons as well as his muggle credit card which was rarely ever used. Making his decision, he quickly transfigured his clothes into a business suit and his cloak into a fine winter coat.

The Potions Master felt very out of place as he perused through the mall, trying to think of what to get for his young apprentice. He liked her. There was no doubting that, but he didn't think he loved her and he certainly was out of his league when it came to relationships of any kind. He frowned at everything, not knowing what to get. Books for the girl were a little over rated since she had enough of them anyway so he needed something that meant something more.

_DAMMIT! What the fuck do I get for a woman?_

Severus looked down the aisle to see a jewelry display in front of him. He furrowed her brows in thought before heading that way. Slowly, he walked around the display, checking out everything they had before walking into the store.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?" a woman asked. Severus was unsure how to go about this. Usually people just kicked him out and cursed at him, but the woman seemed to genuinely want to help.

"I…I am searching for a gift…for a young woman," he said uncertainly, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of jewelry. He didn't even know where to start.

"Is this woman…special to you or just an acquaintance?" she asked. Severus thought about it for a moment before he licked his lips and replied.

"Special…she is just unaware of it…"

"Oh of course. So I assume that rings would be a little too personal?"

"Yes," he said, his heart jumping in his throat as he looked at the wedding rings. He couldn't even bring himself to touch her more or less propose marriage.

"Alright, well…are you two involved in any way?" she asked. Severus wasn't quite sure he liked someone else prying into his personal life but at this point he was desperate to get Hermione a gift.

"No. I mean…she has admitted…she has affections for me…but I am stubborn and said some things…I shouldn't have. She is angry with me right now," he said the last part in frustration and the woman nodded her understanding.

"Perhaps a small gesture would be appropriate. Something that hints that you reciprocate the feelings, but not overly personal." He nodded carefully. "Alright, perhaps a set of earrings." The woman led him to another display and pointed to several sets of earrings.

"There are so many," he said in horror.

"Yes, there are. To make it easier, does she have a favorite color?" the woman asked.

"Yes. Three actually. Beige, burgundy, and blue," he replied.

"Do you know her birthdate?"

"September 17th I believe."

"Perfect."

He frowned as the woman walked to the end of the case and pulled out a small display from inside. He watched as she selected a couple of sets of earrings and brought them back over to him. He looked down at them and admired each set in detail.

"September is the birth stone, Sapphire. These gems are genuine. You mentioned that she liked beige as well as blue and I think these…" she picked up the set and handed them to him. "would look best."

The earrings had a pearl stud with tear drop blue Sapphires hanging from them. The pearls were not the obnoxious white color but more the beige, giving the earrings more of a subtle look. They were simple and should be able to give Hermione the impression he wanted to give her.

"I will take these," he said and handed them to her.

"Excellent. Would you like the box wrapped?" she asked.

"Yes, please. But could you do a beige and burgundy wrapping?" he asked.

"Yes. I have a burgundy wrapping and I could get a beige ribbon for it," she replied.

"That will be fine. Thank you," Severus said and walked over to the cashier. He barely glanced at the price and handed them his credit card.

Hermione sat in her room most of the day, but when Professor McGonagall flooed her and insisted that she come out to dinner, she had no choice. So, getting up, she put on a simple skirt and one of her pale blue sweaters. Sighing softly, she pulled on her knee high winter boots and slung her cloak around her shoulders. As she walked through the living room, she spared a glance at the destroyed tree and walked out the door.

Once she was in the Great Hall and sitting down, she glanced at Severus's chair to see that he wasn't there. Frowning, she looked over at Professor McGonagall to see her talking with Professor Sprout. She waited patiently until the woman was finished.

"Professor McGonagall?"

"Please, dear, call me Minerva," the woman said.

"Oh…Minerva, um…where is Professor Snape?" she asked, trying her best to sound disinterested.

"I'm not sure, honestly. He was in a hurry when he left the grounds earlier today. I haven't seen him since," she said.

"He left?" she asked carefully.

"Yes, dear. He was in quite a rush. I thought he might have said something to you," Minerva said with a frown.

"Um…no. We…we got into an argument earlier," the girl admitted.

"An argument? Was it serious?" The girl shrugged and poked at her food.

"Serious enough," she mumbled.

"Hmmm…give Severus some time. He can be quite a handful but he'll come around," she said and then leaned over and whispered. "You're good for him, Hermione. He just doesn't know it yet."

Hermione swallowed hard and sipped her drink, trying to keep herself from crying again. Professor Snape had hurt her with what he had said and although she understood why he was angry, she couldn't seem to let it go. She should just forgive him, especially after what she had seen his father do to him. Part of her wanted to try and get out of the contract, but she didn't have the heart to do it. She wanted to be near the man no matter how much he hurt her.

Severus Snape knew that he must be completely out of his mind as he stood outside of Hogwarts staring at a nice tall pine tree. Hermione's gift was in his pocket, but he needed to give her more than just her present. He had practically ruined her Christmas.

"What the bloody fuck is wrong with me?" he mumbled as he quickly used his wand to cut the tree down and drag it toward the school. "I swear, I am such a bloody fool! What the hell am I doing? Fucking sentimental gestures… If anyone finds out I've gone soft for a Gryffindor I'll be ruined."

The Potions Master saw Filius and Pomona walking together in his direction, but they practically stopped in their tracks when they saw Severus walking briskly down the corridor with a tree floating behind him. Everyone knew that the Potions Professor _never_ put up a tree. He looked at them and narrowed his eyes.

"Do not ask," he said sourly and turned the corner with the tree in tow. The two Professors looked at each other in surprise for a moment before continuing to walk.

"Now I know something is different with him," Filius said quietly.

"I can't believe he has a Christmas tree…" Pomona said in shock.

"Neither can I."

Severus placed the tree in his sitting room and stared at it. He had transfigured a stand for it, but now he was unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want to decorate in his rooms if he was just going to have to move it. He paced his rooms, listening as Hermione entered her room and into her shower. His was careful and only when he heard the shower water running and the faint click of the bathroom door, did he open his door connecting to her rooms and enter, bringing the tree with him. He wasted no time, as he quickly placed the tree where the other had been and repaired the Christmas decorations. He used his wand to put the lights back on the tree all the while he was listening to the shower running. The only thing that bothered him was that this was a personal thing for her so he felt that he should at least put the balls on the tree by hand. Cursing his own weakness, he quickly began to place the balls on the tree, not really knowing what he was doing.

"Why can't these things have instruction manuals?" he grumbled.

When he was finished, he looked at the tree and frowned. It wasn't the best decorating in the world, but he figured it would have to do. He decided to use his wand for the icicles. Once it was finished, he summoned the gifts back to the tree, placing them neatly underneath, but one caught his attention. To his surprise, there was one wrapped in Slytherin colors. Not being able to contain his curiosity, he bent down and picked it up and was even more shocked to find that it was for him. He swallowed hard and set it back down. Standing up again, he looked around to find her parchments on the coffee table with a lone quill. He quickly scribbled something on a piece of parchment and walked slowly into her bedroom. Severus heard the shower stop and he quickly set the gift in the middle of her bed with the parchment next to it.

Severus walked out into the living room back to the door that connected to his room. Frowning, he turned to look at the room and gazed at the tree. With another wave of his wand, the tree lights began to blink and glow throughout the room.

"Well…since I'm already being so bloody sentimental…" he grumbled and raised his wand again, casting a spell over the room before quickly slipping out and closing the door. He felt tired and dirty and wanted nothing more than to shower at that moment.

Hermione dried herself off and pulled her small black negligee over her body. It was simple with a few accents of pearl coloring around the breasts. She took some time to apply lotion to her skin and brush her teeth before looking at her semi wet hair. She tied her hair back and walked out of the bathroom. Hermione stopped in her tracks and looked at her bed with a frown.

_Who the hell left that?_

Slowly, she approached the bed and looked down at the gift box and the parchment. Then, she recognized the spidery script and with a trembling hand, she reached out and picked it up.

_Miss Granger,_

_ What I said to you, I did not mean. Forgive me for being cruel. I hope this gift proves I mean you well._

_Severus Snape_

Hermione stared down at the box in shock. He had bought her a gift. Hermione felt the tears fill her eyes as she picked it up and fingered the bow. She was very tempted to open it, but she never opened gifts on Christmas Eve. Looking at her clock, she found that she still had four hours till midnight. Nibbling her bottom lip, she held her small gift box close to her and walked out into her sitting room. When she looked up, she gasped in shock, nearly dropping the box. A tear fell down her cheek as she stared at her new brightly lit Christmas tree and charmed room so it appeared that snow was falling.

"Oh Severus…" she whispered and looked toward his room.

Hermione walked over to her new tree and set the gift under it. Licking her lips, she looked back toward his rooms. Taking a deep breath, she walked over and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She hoped that he was not cutting himself again. The thought made her stomach churn. Hermione opened the door and peered inside.

"Professor Snape?" she called softly. There was again no answer. She frowned and looked around his sitting room. "Severus?"

Hermione began to get concerned and carefully walked to his bedroom and opened the door. There was no one inside, but just as she was about to turn to leave, the bathroom door opened and her Potions Professor stepped out in nothing more than a towel. He froze and stared at her in horror and she stared right back in terror. Hermione tried to take her eyes off of him, but she couldn't see to make herself do it.

"Um…I called…you didn't answer…um…I got worried…I'll just go now…" she stammered and fled the room, her face scarlet.

Hermione practically flew into the cushions of her sofa as she tried to get a hold of herself. The man had a beautiful body in her opinion, despite the fact that he was a little on the thin side. He had some black hair that dusted his chest and a thin trail of hair that went down his stomach and past his navel where it became thick. The towel had sat low on his hips so she had been able to see his slightly protruding hip bones and the ugly scar that went down his abdomen and below his towel. He had various other scars on his body, but the one on his abdomen was the worst.

_Oh Gods! I want him so bad!_

Hermione sat with her knees drawn up in the corner of the sofa, her back against the arm and back facing his door. Her eyes remained planted on the Christmas tree and when she heard the door click open, she felt her eyes widen in fear. Hermione's mouth went dry when he walked around her and looked down at her with an unreadable expression. Her doe like eyes raised to look at him.

"I'm sorry…I…I didn't mean to…walk in on you…" she stammered in fear that he was going to blow up at her.

"Hmm…we just can't seem to keep ourselves from these awkward situations," he replied in annoyance.

"I didn't mean to," she said softly, looking back at the tree.

Severus sighed and came to sit down next to her. When he turned to look at her, he realized what she was wearing and couldn't help but look down. Her knees were drawn up so he could clearly see the spot between her legs which was _not_ covered. She had on no knickers and he found himself licking his lips as he looked down at the soft folds of her mound.

"Miss Granger?" he choked softly.

"Hmm?" She looked at him to see his cheeks were slightly red as he turned to look at the tree.

"You…you're not wearing…any knickers," he said uncomfortably.

Hermione felt the mortification surge through her as she quickly put her legs down and pulled the nightie further down her thighs to cover her private. Her cheeks were bright red, but she didn't say anything.

"Did you like your gift?" he asked quietly.

"I didn't open it." At that, he looked at her sharply and narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that…it's just that I don't open presents until Christmas and I have four hours," she clarified.

"Ah…I see."

"Are you going to stay with me till then?" she asked quietly. Severus looked at her and then back at the tree.

"I suppose I could…"


	19. Chapter 18

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 18**

Hermione was a nervous wreck as she sat next to the man she loved and stared at the Christmas tree. In truth, it was really quite the romantic setting that she was in with him and she couldn't help the tiny glimmer of hope that fluttered through her.

"Professor?"

"Hmm…"

"I…I really am sorry," she said softly, looking at him. He turned to look at her with a blank expression but didn't say anything. "I really didn't intend to…look into your mind. I was just trying to push you out of my mind." He inhaled deeply and looked back at the tree.

"I understand, however, I am still not pleased that you…saw that," he stated, his cheeks burning slightly. She nodded and bit her lip for a moment, wondering how she should approach the subject.

"Professor…why were your parents like that?" she asked. He looked back at her and frowned.

"I don't know. That's just how they were. Why?" he asked, slightly confused as to why she would think he would know.

"I just don't understand it. I mean…I've never known…anyone with parents…so cruel," she said uncertainly.

"That was but a glimpse into their cruelty. It extends far beyond that," he said bitterly.

"That's why…you don't like to be touched, isn't it?" she asked and saw his eyes narrow and his nostrils flare.

"It is."

"So…you told me that you have never kissed before…is that because of your father?"

"Yes." His reply was short and clipped.

"Why?" That question caused him to frown and look at her as if she was crazy.

"What do you mean why?" he hissed in annoyance.

"I meant about the kissing. I saw…what your father did, but why is…kissing bad? It's different," she said softly and watched his nostrils flare angrily. She honestly didn't think that he would answer her but he surprised her yet again.

"You gave a description of features you thought were appealing about me once…" he trailed off and looked away in embarrassment and clenched his jaw.

"I remember. You got really angry when I said you have a nice mouth," she said and saw his fists clench. "Is that something your father used to say to you?" He leaned forward so she could not clearly see his face and did not look at her.

"Keep in mind, Miss Granger, that I am not going to pour my soul out for you," he said coldly.

"I…"

"The answer is yes. He used to say it all time whenever he was performing…one of his perverse acts or…when he…" he trailed off and shook his head.

"He kissed you." There was a moment of silence.

"I wouldn't exactly call it kissing, Miss Granger," he snarled.

"What else would you call it?" she asked and he whipped his head around to look at her.

"Do you see the scars around my mouth?" he hissed, angrily pointing to his lips. Hermione leaned closer and narrowed her eyes. There were several small scars around his lips, but it was obvious that magic healed them decently enough.

"Yes, I do," she said softly. "They're faint, but I can see them."

"Those are from him."

"He bit you," she said as realization dawned on her.

"Yes, often," he said viciously and turned away from her.

"Prof-Severus…not everything intimate has to hurt," Hermione told him gently.

"Well in my experience it does," he snapped angrily.

"It doesn't have to," she argued softly and received another glare. She sighed and looked around the room. Suddenly, she thought of a way that they could both relax and looked back at him. "Do you have any liquor?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Liquor? You know, alcoholic drink?"

"I'm not an idiot, Miss Granger, I know what liquor is. I am merely surprised that you are asking _me_ to give you contraband."

"Since I am an adult, it is not contraband and we are on holiday. Do you have any?" she replied primly. His lips thinned but after deciding that he could do with a drink, he summoned a bottle of fire-whiskey and muggle Jack Daniel's whiskey.

Hermione smiled and went to her kitchen to get a couple of glasses and brought with her a bottle of muggle cola. Professor Snape frowned at the bubbling drink as she poured some into her cup and added the Jack Daniel's too it.

"Do you want to try this?" she asked. He debated for a moment before shrugging and allowing her to make him one as well.

"You are full of surprises, Miss Granger," he said as he took the glass.

"So are you." His eyes narrowed.

"If you're referring to my childhood-"

"No! No, Professor, I wasn't. Actually, I was referring to all of this," she said gesturing to the tree, gift, and charms around the room. "I just…I didn't know you could be so sweet." His brows leveled and he gave her an un-amused look. She shrugged and sipped her drink.

"I am far from sweet."

"Hmm. You obviously can be when you try," she responded.

"I assure you, it took a great deal of effort to even begin to think of how to…apologize to you for my earlier behavior."

"Well, that effort is greatly appreciated and accepted," she said sincerely. He gave a small nod, but she could see the tiniest quirk at the corner of his lips. "Um…do…do you hate me…at all?" He frowned and looked at her.

"No. Not in the least."

"Do you think…that my liking you…is really silly?" she asked softly, not looking at him although she knew he could see that her face was bright red.

"Yes. I think it is silly that you should like such a…damaged man when there is so much more for you elsewhere," he replied, ignoring his quickly beating heart.

"Would you ever let me…kiss you?" she asked so softly that it took him a moment to process what she had said. She was looking down at her lap and he could see that her face was an even brighter shade of red, but she would not meet his eyes. He took that moment to look at her soft lips and swallowed down the unusual feelings of desire.

"I'm not sure I know how to answer that," he replied. This time she did look up at him, but he was looking at his glass. "I am uncomfortable with being touched and I have never kissed anyone. I lived like this all my life and for me to change it…is a big step for me, I should say."

"It might be a good step."

"Perhaps, but there is more to a relationship than just snogging and I know a relationship is what you want. I have never been touched…by a woman nor have I ever touched one. As much as it pains me to say this, I am more inexperienced than a first year."

"I'm not very experienced either," she said and he gave her a look.

"I am about twenty years your senior. It is too late for me," he said sourly.

"It is never too late to love," she pointed out.

"You'll never understand," he snapped.

"I would if you let me. Why don't we start simple?"

"What do mean?" he asked uncertainly.

"Let me kiss you."

His eyes widened a fraction and he quickly turned away to look at the floor, feeling his heart beating faster. He wasn't exactly sure what he should do. Kissing her had certainly crossed his mind, but he was uneasy about trying things that were unfamiliar to him and he did not want to feel inadequate with his young apprentice.

"I…I don't know," he said uncertainly.

Hermione sat up, facing him and gently reached out and wrapped her fingers around his arm. Carefully, she tugged his arm and caused him to turn slightly. His eyes were intense but there was fear inside those pools of darkness. Hermione felt her stomach fluttering uncontrollably. She reached up and pulled a piece of his ebony hair behind his ear, exposing more of his face.

"Would you be willing to trust me?" she asked softly.

"I am unsure as of now," he said quietly.

"I won't hurt you. Not ever," she whispered and while he would have normally thought a student saying such a thing to him would be humorous, at that moment it wasn't. It was something that he took very seriously.

Hermione brought her face around to his cheek and gently kissed him. She didn't see his eyes widen nor did she realize what kind of effect she was having on his body. Slowly, she began to plant little kisses on his cheek and work her way down to his jaw.

Severus was at a complete loss at what to do. He had never felt anything so pleasurable. It was such a new feeling for him. His adams apple bobbed up and down as she kissed him gently along his jaw. He felt a tightening sensation in his groin and couldn't help the small gasp that escaped him as her lips touched his throat. He reached up and slipped his hand behind her neck, barely touching her at all.

Hermione could tell that he enjoyed the feeling so he felt encouraged. Her lips met his chin and trailed up to the corner of his mouth. She could feel the small puffs of breaths he gasped as she gently placed a small kiss chaste kiss on his lips. She pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes which were staring back into hers with something akin to uncertainty. Hermione then, placed her lips on his and kissed him again, this time with a little more intimacy. Her heart was beating rapidly and she felt the heat between her legs intensify. Her lips clasped his lower lip, but that caused him to jerk back suddenly.

"What were you doing?" he snapped.

"You need to trust me," she said softly and before he could say anything again, she placed her mouth over his and moved her lips gently being careful to avoid hitting him with her teeth. She then clasped his lower lip between hers and suckled it, causing him to gasp and pull her closer to him. His mouth moved tentatively over hers and he barely realized that he had turned in his seat and was pulling her into his lap.

Hermione straddled his legs and brought her arms around his neck as she kissed him with passion. When she sank her weight into his lap and caused him to gasp, she took the opportunity to slip her tongue inside his mouth. Severus's back became stiff and his grip tightened around her waist so she slowed down and carefully caressed her tongue along his.

Severus felt all control leaving him as she ran her tongue along his. There were so many indescribable sensations that were completely new to him. His body clearly reacted like a man desperate for her touch, but his mind was still uncertain as to what he was doing. For once, he was not concerned about someone trying to hurt him as the witch gently massaged the back of his neck as her tongue carefully and slowly slid along his. His arms relaxed around her waist and he concentrated on the feel of her in his lap and for once, was excited about having someone touch him and show him the affection he never thought he would experience.

Hermione kissed him gently on the mouth before breaking the kiss and resting her forehead against his, panting softly. Her eyes were closed but she could practically feel his gaze burning into her. She opened her eyes slowly and looked into his intense dark eyes and gave a small shy smile.

"I told you I wouldn't hurt you," she whispered and sat back on his lap, as she ran her fingers carefully through his hair. He swallowed and looked over her face, taking in her soft cinnamon colored eyes, pert nose, and slightly swollen lips.

"I…I was unaware that…kissing someone…could feel this way," he said uncomfortably, obviously still very self conscious of his lack of skill.

"So was I. I'm glad you were my first kiss," she said and kissed his lips again gently. She sat deeper in his lap and felt his body stiffen slightly. It took her a second to realize that she was sitting on his very prominent erection. Her eyes widened slightly and she looked at his face to see that he was mortified. A pink tinge stained his cheeks and he looked away from her in embarrassment. "Severus, don't be embarrassed." Hermione bent forward and began to kiss his neck slowly down to the crook where she began to suckle gently as she very carefully moved her hips against him.

"Hermione..." he nearly choked. His grip tightened on her hips as he experienced jolts of pleasure with each little stroke her body made against his. Hermione lifted her lips from his neck and looked down at the mark she had left on his pale skin.

"I've wanted to touch you for so long…" she whispered in his ear before flicking her tongue out to caress his ear lope. Severus felt his body tremble from the mere touch and turned to kiss her neck before sitting back and looking at her face.

"I want you to make sure you are aware that…this will not be easy for me… It's not that I…distrust you, but I have never put my trust into anyone explicitly and I might offend you from time to time with my lack of confidence…" he trailed off, not knowing exactly what he should say to her.

"I understand and I will do my best to be patient and not take offence. I'm new to this as much as you are, but just remember that I don't…really know your boundaries and anything I do that puts you off or…makes you uncomfortable is not intentional," she replied softly and kissed his lips again.

Severus gave her a small smile, but the uncertainty was still in his eyes as he held her close to him. He wasn't used to affection and he certainly wasn't used to any kind of intimacy. For once he was actually afraid of something, but he did his best not to show it. When a loud chime went off from Hermione's grandfather clock, they both nearly jumped in fright from the unexpected sound.

"It's midnight…Christmas," he murmured against her throat.

"Now I can open my gift," she said.

Hermione carefully sat back down next to him and picked up her little box from Severus. She could see the apprehension in his eyes as he waited to see what she would think of the gift. She delicately tugged the ribbon off and peeled back the paper; her heart beating wildly as she gazed at the little box for a moment. Carefully, she lifted the lid and gasped as she stared down at the beautiful sparkling earrings.

"Severus!" she gasped.

"I wasn't sure what else to get you. I thought that books were overrated and you already had enough supplies for school," he said quickly, uncertain as to whether or not he might have been too forward with such a gift, but she smiled up at him with tears glazing her eyes.

"They are perfect. I've never been given such a beautiful gift before. Thank you so much," Hermione said sincerely and leaned forward and soundly kissed his mouth.

Relief flooded through him, knowing that Hermione loved her gift. He smiled genuinely as she sat back and put the earrings on and then tied her hair partially back so that they could be seen. She then jumped up and went to the tree and bent down to pick up his present. Severus couldn't help but look at her slightly exposed shapely bum when she did it and felt himself swallow hard.

Hermione brought his present over and handed it to him before sitting back down on the sofa. She was hoping that he liked the gift and wondered if maybe she should have gotten him something more related to Potions. He was careful when he removed the wrapping paper and he seemed agonizingly slow when opening the box.

Severus furrowed his brows as he lifted the thin paper that covered the item and then his brows shot up in surprise. The cloak that was inside his box was the same as his absolute favorite which had been burned some years ago and he hadn't been able to replace. To his surprise, the cloak inside the box was an exact match and he pulled it from the box and touched the material.

"Hermione, how did you get this?" he asked softly.

"Madam Malkins had your size information on file so I asked for another cloak just like the one you had," she replied.

"How did you know this was the cloak I have wanted to replace?" he asked curiously. Her face turned scarlet and she fidgeted with the hem of her nightie for a moment. He quirked a brow at her behavior. "Hermione?"

"," she said all at once, blushing furiously, but he hadn't quite understood what she had said.

"What?" He watched her take a deep breath before answering a bit more slowly.

"I might have been the one that set your robes on fire in my first year." There was silence as Hermione stared at her legs before she finally couldn't take it anymore and snuck a peek at him. He was starring at her with a look of bewilderment.

"That was you?" he finally asked in disbelief. Hermione gave him a sheepish little smile, but inside she was terrified that he was going to be extremely pissed.

"I'm sorry…" she said meekly. Suddenly, he burst out laughing causing Hermione to jump. His baritone laughter filled the room and she felt warmed by the sound of it. It was a few minutes before he calmed enough to look at her again.

"So much for the perfect little Gryffindor Princess. I wonder what Minerva would do if I shattered that perfect image she has of you," he said with mirth.

"I never claimed to be perfect," she sniffed, but couldn't help the little quirk of her lips. He smiled and looked at her.

"I should give you detention for that," he replied. Hermione pouted for a minute before smirking and crawling onto his lap and straddling him again. He swallowed hard as she ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders.

"Would you like to punish me?" she asked innocently. Severus swallowed again before placing his hands on her hips and kissing her on the mouth. They kissed passionately for quite some time before lying down on the sofa and falling asleep.


	20. Chapter 19

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 19**

Hermione snuggled deeper against the warmth that was pressed to her body and inhaled deeply. The smell of sandalwood and herbs hit her senses and she opened her eyes to find herself snuggled against none other than Severus Snape. For a minute, she actually thought that she was dreaming until she remembered the previous night. The fight. His apology. The romantic gift and Christmas setting…and the intense kissing. Her heart fluttered and she lifted her head to see if Severus was still sleeping, but to her surprise, he wasn't. Instead, he was staring at her, his eyes slightly narrowed and his expression guarded. She wondered if he might be feeling regretful after last night.

"Happy Christmas," she said softly and saw his eyes soften a bit. He cleared his throat and suddenly looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"You…you don't regret…last night?" he asked guardedly. She smiled at him.

"Nope. Not at all. Do you?"

"No."

"Good, because I might just wanna kiss you all day," she said happily and brought her lips to his.

Severus felt himself relax when she kissed him, knowing that she truly didn't regret being with him. He looked up at her and gave a small smile when she broke the kiss to look down at him. She was truly a beautiful sight and he knew he would love to wake up every morning to her face.

"We should go to breakfast," she said softly and climbed off the sofa. He nodded and sat up. "I'm going to shower and get dressed."

"I shall do the same," he replied and then looked up at her.

"So…are we going to breakfast…together?" she asked shyly, hope filling her eyes. He smiled and stood up.

"Yes," he said and kissed her again. It was nice to feel wanted. Strange, but nice.

That morning was the first time that Severus felt well rested and at peace. This was by far the best Christmas he had ever had and he was for once glad of it. He stepped out of the shower and looked and the mirror, frowning at his appearance, not understanding why his young, beautiful Gryffindor apprentice wanted anything to do with him, but he was not going to question it at the moment. The Potions Master couldn't help but raise a brow and smirk when he saw the little dark red love mark on his neck. He spared a glance at his scarred forearms and felt the revulsion of what he had done, but there wasn't much he could do now. He did have a salve that he created that would heal some of the scars, but there would always be traces. However, he was still tempted to use it. Severus had always wanted to keep the reminders of his hated and painful life, but now he was beginning to want to rid himself of them. At least for the most part.

Hermione was smiling brightly when she got out of the shower, her hair in wet ringlets around her face. She quickly dried herself and spell dried her hair before grabbing her black knee length skirt and slipping it on over her black thong before picking up her light blue long sleeve shirt and pulling it over her head. Hermione grabbed her knee high boots and pulled them on before clipping half of her back so her sparkling earrings could be seen. After brushing her teeth she smiled brightly at her reflection to make sure everything was in order before heading out to meet Severus.

He was dressed in his usual black with his new winter cloak wrapped around him. He looked at her and smiled when he saw the way she had put her hair. Hermione grabbed her cloak and pulled it on before walking over to him.

"Aren't you going to open the rest of your gifts?" he asked. Hermione shrugged.

"I can open them later," she said and slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow when he offered his arm to her. He smirked down at her and the two of them headed out and down the corridor.

There weren't many students there for the holidays but those who were there noticed the two of them walking with her arm linked in his and couldn't help but gawk at them. For once, Professor Snape didn't even comment or glare at them; he simply kept walking to the Great Hall. When he walked into the dining hall, several of the teachers looked up with slightly surprised expressions except for Poppy and Minerva who were blatantly smiling at them.

Filius hadn't been able to help himself and told the staff about how he had seen Severus with a Christmas tree the night before. It had been the talk of the day and now they were wondering if it had something to do with Hermione. The teachers were pleasantly surprised when Severus pulled out Hermione's chair for her before sitting down next to her.

"Happy Christmas," Minerva said to everyone. Everyone bid there greetings before digging into their breakfast.

Hermione couldn't help but glance toward some of the students who were watching her and Snape with a look of curiosity. Smirking slightly to herself, she went back to her breakfast. She felt happier than she ever had before. She and Severus were sitting close enough to brush against each other's arms which was probably the reason for the staring since everyone else kept a little distance between themselves. She didn't care though. She couldn't get enough of Severus and she was fighting the urge to touch him right then.

Hermione was about to take a bite of her toast when an owl swooped down and dropped a letter on her plate. Scowling, she picked it up and flicked some of the strawberry jam off of it, before opening it. To her annoyance it was from Ron and she quickly skimmed through it, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with its contents. Swallowing hard, she tucked the letter away and went to stick it in her pocket when she felt it snatched out of her hands. Hermione whipped her head around to look at Severus who gave her a glare of warning, daring her to say something as he pulled the letter from the envelope.

There were several teachers that noticed and kept glancing in the couple's direction as Severus busied himself with reading the letter. It was obvious by the way his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed that he was not happy about the content. When he was finished, he stuffed it back into the envelope and tossed it on the table next to her plate. Minerva quirked a brow when she saw Severus stab his eggs a bit harder than necessary.

Hermione could feel the anger radiating off of her Potions Master and couldn't blame him. Ron had written some pretty vulgar things about what he would do to her once she came to her senses and realized that they were meant to be. She glanced at Severus to see that his jaw was set pretty tight even as he chewed his food. Carefully, she leaned over so no one would hear her.

"Only you," she whispered softly. He turned to look at her, his expression steely, but when he saw the sincerity in her eyes, his expression softened a bit. He didn't say anything, but when he continued his breakfast he was not as aggressive.

When breakfast was finished, the two of them left together which soon became the gossip amongst the teachers and the remaining students. Hermione and Severus walked out onto the snow covered grounds and waited till they were out of the sights of any prying eyes. It was then that Hermione slipped her hand into his and leaned against him as they looked out over the frozen lake.

"If I were not your teacher…I would say something to Mr. Weasley," he growled.

"I know…but you don't have to worry about him. I don't like him as anything other than a friend. You are the one that I care about, Severus," she said softly and stood up on her tip toes to plant a gentle kiss on his lips.

Severus couldn't help but dip his head down a little to receive her kiss a bit better. His hands tentatively reached out and touched her hips, inching her closer to him as he deepened the kiss slowly. His heart was racing as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him. They stayed in each other's arms for quite some time before it became too cold and they headed back toward the castle.

Ginny was sitting at the table when she received a letter from an owl she didn't recognize. The bird was black and had a touch of white on his face, but his eyes were a piercing yellow and the owl's attitude reminded her very much of Professor Snape. It was kind of creepy. She carefully took the letter and handed the bird a piece of ham before it took flight again. Sitting back, she opened the letter and smiled when she saw Hermione's handwriting.

_Ginny,_

_ You are not going to believe the leaps and bounds me and Severus have made! After he angered me and I destroyed my Christmas tree, he went out and got a new one and put it up for me, decorated it, charmed my room to look like it was snowing lightly, and then he bought me a gift! He got me the most beautiful earrings! I can't wait to show you! Then we kissed! Can you believe it? We kissed and he stayed in my room with me (not like that so get your mind out of the gutter)._

Ginny couldn't help but chuckle at that because that was exactly where her mind had been going.

_He can be so romantic that it's almost unbelievable, but we have a long way to go. There are things about him that he doesn't like to discuss and although I have an idea of why, it will be hard to get him to completely trust me. Ginny, I have to tell you…I am so completely in love with him! I know you already know that, but I just had to say it again! Hahaha! _

_ Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that I got a letter from Ron this morning, and it said some pretty vulgar things. He was describing what he wanted to do to me sexually! How does he think that is in any way appropriate? Severus read the letter and he was furious! I know I said that I didn't want anyone to know about Severus and I, but I need to do something because Ron is becoming quite a nuisance. Well, I hope you are having a Happy Christmas and make sure you don't give Harry to much of a workout. *wink*_

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_Ps. The owl is Nocturn, and he belongs to Professor Snape so if he gives you the evil eye…it's because he's been around Severus too much, but he's friendly. _

Ginny smiled and folded the letter back up and stuck it in her pocket. It was then that her brothers walked in with Harry and sat down at the table. She sent Harry a look that clearly stated she wanted to talk to him later in private.

"I saw an owl drop off a letter earlier…whose was it?" Ron asked his sister.

"That was Nocturn and the letter was from Hermione," she replied as she sipped her drink.

"Nocturn? When did she buy an owl?" Ron asked, sounding a bit edgy.

"He doesn't belong to her. He belongs to Professor Snape," she said airily and could see the fury burning in her brother's eyes. She couldn't help but feel a tinge of joy in his misery, especially after the way he had been acting toward her friend.

"Why is she using his bloody bird?" he snapped. Harry frowned and looked at Ron.

"She is his apprentice, you know… I mean it would only make since that she use his owl sense she lives in the dungeons and Nocturn can be summoned rather than her walking all the way to the Owlry to use one of the Hogwarts owls," Harry said.

"Since when do you defend anything that Mione' does with Snape? I thought you hated the git as much as I did?" the redhead snarled.

"I guess I just finally accepted the fact that he is not the evil bastard we thought he was," Harry replied, realizing that he was actually being honest.

"Whatever," Ron mumbled and sat down with a huff. Harry looked at Ginny who briefly quirked a brow and he knew that she wanted to talk to him about Hermione, but she didn't want to do it in front of her brothers. "So what did Mione say?"

"Nothing. She just wished everyone a Happy Christmas and she said she is enjoying herself," Ginny replied evenly.

"Did she mention me?" he asked.

"Yes." His face lit up and he sat a little straighter. "She mentioned that you sent her a vulgar letter in which she did not appreciate nor did Professor Snape who was right there with her," she said somewhat coldly. The table got quiet and the twins looked at Ron with a raised brow. Even they had noticed the change in him lately and it for once made them a little uneasy.

"Why the hell is Snape reading her mail? He can't do that!" Ron snarled.

"He can if Hermione lets him! He can do whatever the hell he damn well pleases as long as it does not hurt her in any way!" Ginny snapped defensively. George and Fred both sat back and smirked as they looked between Ron and Ginny.

"Just like Mum…"

"Yep…"

"I reckon she might give Ron a run for his money…"

"Hmpf! What money?"

"Shut up you two!" Ron snapped.

"Ronald, dear, be nice to your brothers," Molly said as she walked into the kitchen and began her chores. "What is all the racket about anyway? This is Christmas, we should all be happy."

"Ron sent Hermione a nasty letter describing the dirty things he wanted to do to her and she felt it was highly inappropriate," Ginny said angrily and watched her brother's face turn bright red. George and Fred burst out laughing, unable to contain it any longer.

"Shut up!" Ron yelled.

"Now, quiet all of you!" Molly yelled suddenly. "Ron, I must admit that the letter was inappropriate. That is not how you speak to a lady, however, Ginny…you should know that once Hermione comes to her senses and accepts Ron that all of this is going to be meaningless. She won't even remember how inappropriate the letter is when…"

"What the hell is wrong with you lot?" Ginny cut in angrily, standing up.

"Excuse me, young lady?" Molly snapped.

"Don't the two of you get it?" she asked, addressing her mother and Ron. "Hermione doesn't want to be with Ron! Not now and NOT EVER!"

"You're a liar!" Ron growled.

"I know Hermione better than all of you! She doesn't want to be with you! The two of you are about as compatible as a poodle and a Goblin! She needs someone mature and intelligent and I'm sorry Ron, I love you, but you're not it!" Ginny spat.

"Ginerva Weasely!"

"No! You need to get that through your heads. Stop trying to dictate her life and who she should be with. If anything, Hermione is the one person in this world that can make decisions for herself!"

"There is someone else isn't there?" Ron seethed as he glared at his sister. George and Fred would have poked fun at him if it wasn't for the manic look in his eyes that even kept them from opening their mouths.

"That's not the point!"

"Is there someone else?"

"It's none of your-"

"Answer me dammit!"

"YES!" Ginny screamed finally. Everyone went silent. Ginny narrowed her eyes at her brother who looked murderous. "There has always been someone else, long before you ever had feelings for her. She isn't ever going to be yours."

"Who is it?" Molly asked curiously, eyeing her son and feeling slightly uncomfortable with his murderous expression.

"That's for Hermione to tell, not me," Ginny replied curtly. Ron glared at her and then turned toward Harry.

"Do you know who it is?" he asked scathingly. Harry narrowed his own eyes and stood up next to Ginny.

"Like Ginny said, that is for Hermione to tell," he replied and grabbed Ginny's hand, leading her out of the house before things got worse. They could hear Ron yelling and Molly trying to calm him, but it was enough to make the twins run out of the house after Ginny and Harry.

"Oi! What is wrong with him?" George asked.

"I don't know mate, but I reckon ol' Ronny is obsessed, not in love," Fred replied.

"I would have to agree," Ginny said hotly.

"So…sis…are you going to spill it on who Mione's got the hots for?" George asked with a smirk.

"No."

"Aww! Come on!" the twins groaned in union.

"No. When Hermione is ready, she will tell you all," Ginny said in exasperation. They knew their sister well enough to know that she was not going to confess anything.

Harry and Ginny wandered away from them, hand in hand and headed out into the fields. There were Aurors in the area to protect the perimeter because of the Death Eater threats so the two of them didn't go very far. Harry stopped and pulled Ginny to him, kissing her cheek softly.

"They are together, aren't they?" he asked and she knew who he was referring to.

"Yes…" Ginny said and pulled the letter from her pocket. "It is only because I tell you everything that I am showing this to you." Harry nodded and took the letter. He silently read it before closing it and handing it back to her. Ginny was a little worried about his reaction, but to her surprise Harry gave a little smirk.

"She really loves him, huh?"

"Yes."

"She sounds happy. I'm actually surprised that he bought her a gift, especially earrings," Harry said.

"I know. It's so…un-Snape like," she said and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

"It's kind of surreal," he joked and shook his head. "If she's happy with the git, then fine. Actually, if I were being honest, Ron is being more a git than Snape ever has been."

"I'm really worried," Ginny said.

"So am I. I don't understand what his obsession is with Hermione, but…you don't think…he'd become dangerous…do you?" he asked.

"Honestly, I don't know, but if he finds out that it's Professor Snape that Hermione's in love with, things are going to get really bad." Harry knew there was no argument on that one.

Hermione had opened the rest of her presents and was delighted to find a gift certificate for Florish and Blotts since Harry had no idea what she already had in her collection. Molly had of course, made her a sweater. The twins had sent her several sweets and a few of their new magic pranks and they were smart enough not to play them on her. Minerva had bought her a lovely new set of gloves. Ginny had bought her a book on how enjoy your partner sexually, which Hermione found herself extremely interested in. She swallowed when she saw a gift from Ron and opened it slowly, not sure what she was going to find inside. When she lifted the lid of the box, she found herself making a face of disgust as she looked down at the tacky looking piece of lingerie. It was an awful deep shade of purple with Victorian lace around the bottom and bust areas. Turning up her lip, she put it back in the box. Why did he get her things like this? It was just disgusting.

Severus had said that he had some things to do in the lab and that he would come to her room later, but she was beginning to feel antsy. She sat on her sofa and stared at her tree as she waited, hoping that he would be there soon because she wanted to be near him again.


	21. Chapter 20

*****_ I know...I took forever to update. Getting my degree is taking a lot of time from my stories and I apologize.***_**

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**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 20**

It had been a few hours before Severus came to her room and she noticed that although he tried to remain impassive about it, the fear was evident in his eyes. He sat down and even kept about a foot of distance between them which surprised Hermione for a moment, but she had to remember that this was completely new to him and after everything he had been through, she had to expect this kind of behavior from time to time.

"Severus?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Yes."

"Oh, ok. Um…what do you want to do?" she asked. He looked at her uncertainly, but with a slightly icy look.

"I don't know. You're the expert in this, I am not," he replied coldly.

"I am not an expert and please, be nice. I know you're embarrassed about your lack of knowledge on the relationship, but don't think that I am going to tease or find amusement in it. I am here for you," she said sincerely. His expression softened a bit, but he still looked wary. "If you want, we can just talk. We don't have to do anything you're not ready for." He seemed to visibly relax and Hermione tried to replay in her head that it was his own insecurity and it had nothing to do with her. He seemed to sense what she was thinking and glared.

"It isn't you. I'm sorry that I don't…know what exactly is expected of me."

"Don't worry about it. I said I will be patient with you and I meant it. Let's talk about something else," she said, trying to appease him. "Would you like some eggnog?"

"Mmm…yes I would, actually," he replied and she smiled brightly before getting up to get it from her kitchen.

When she brought back the drinks, his eyes were zeroed in at something underneath her sparkling Christmas tree. His brow was furrowed and he seemed to have a mild look of distaste in his expression. She sat next to him and handed him his drink and then looked in the direction he was looking.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"What is _that_?" he asked.

"What?"

"That orange thing," he clarified. Hermione's brows flattened and she thinned her lips.

"Severus, that is my familiar, Crookshanks," she replied.

"Mmmhmmm…he's…cute," Severus said, but the word 'cute' accompanied an expression that might have made her think he was sucking on a lemon with salt on it.

"Be nice. I love my cat," she sniffed and sipped her eggnog. Severus's expression suddenly became solemn and he nodded.

"I apologize. I understand," he said softly and she noticed the depressing look in his eyes.

"Did you ever have a familiar?" she asked quietly. It took a moment of silence before he nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off of the tree or cat…she couldn't tell.

"I had a cat once…he wasn't as big as yours. He was a simple calico that I picked up off the streets by my house," he replied quietly.

"What was his name?"

"Picasso. He was unique…he had broken his tail as a kitten and it healed crooked and one of his ears had been cut off so he only had the one. Many people thought he was an ugly little thing, but…I loved him," he admitted and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees.

"What happened to him?"

"He died."

"Old age?" she asked, feeling slightly emotional at the thought of losing her own familiar.

"No. My father found out I had him and to get to me…he threw my cat into the wall in front of me when I was thirteen…it broke his neck," he replied, somewhat choked before clearly his throat and sipping his eggnog.

"Severus, I'm so sorry…you're parents were truly horrible," she whispered as she wiped away her tears.

"They are worse than you could ever know," he whispered and closed his eyes as the memory assaulted him.

_Severus sat in his room in the cold basement, sniffling because of the cold he was still trying to get over as he read his school books. He could hear his father yelling at his mother upstairs, but he didn't care. He had learned not to care about his mother anymore because she was never going to care for him anyway. He glanced up when he heard a soft meow and looked over at the little hole in the basement concrete where the boarded windows were located about five feet from the floor._

"_Picasso!" he gasped softly. He got up and went over to his cat and picked him up, instantly getting a loud purr of affection. Severus smiled and brought him back over to the bed and sat down, rubbing his head and causing him to close his eyes. "I'm glad I have you, boy." Picasso butted his head against Severus's chin affectionately._

_ The two sat in silence, enjoying each other's company until Severus heard his father unlocking his door upstairs. Cursing, he quickly raced back to the little hole and let Picasso out and then ran back to his bed and hid all of his school books. His heart was pounding when he heard his father's footsteps coming down the stairs. _

"_Where are you, boy?" he sneered and then came into view. Severus was trembling from head to toe. His father came over and suddenly back handed his face and sent him to the floor; blood spilling from his lips. He then grabbed Severus's hair and yanked him back up, ignoring the cry of pain that came from his son and bent him over the bed. Angrily, he used his belt to tie the boy up before walked over to the wall that hung some of his favorite torture toys. _

_ Severus saw what he was looking at and felt the tears burn his eyes. He knew that tonight was going to hurt. He began replaying his readings about Occulmency, because it was said that if you could master it, you could deflect physical pain as well as emotional. He was trying to build his walls, but he had not had a lot of experience with it. His eyes widened when he saw his father pull down the cylindrical piece of metal with metal barbs sticking off of it. _

"_No…please no…" he whispered softly and tried his best to get his walls to come up._

"_I hate you, boy, you know that?" his father growled as he walked over. "You're the most pathetic excuse of a son. The only thing you're good for is this right here because your mother's pussy is about worn out and I hate the stench. One of these days, I'll be tired of you and won't have any more need for you. Then…I will kill you boy."_

_ Severus didn't care what he said at this point, because the only thing he could think about was how much this was going to hurt. He could smell his father's drunken breath and cringed. He hated that smell. His father's favorite drink was Vodka and he swore that he would never touch it. Suddenly, his hair was grabbed roughly and his head was pulled back causing Severus to arch his back. _

"_I want you to scream…" his father purred almost seductively and Severus instantly felt the bile rise in his throat, but tried desperately to swallow it back down. _

_ Not even all of the self control in the world could have prepared him for the searing and indescribable pain he felt next. Severus let out a horrible scream as his father brutally shoved the barbed cylinder into him. He could feel every rip of his inner sensitive skin and began to suddenly feel woozy from shock and blood loss. The blood ran down his legs and puddle on the floor, but his father didn't care. _

"_I told you I would make you scream," he laughed and relentlessly abused him. When he pulled the object out, his father then thrust his cock in and began pumping mercilessly. Severus scrunched his eyes shut and gritted against the pain, but nothing helped. Nothing at all. Tears ran down his face and he prayed to whatever deity he could for his father to just kill him. _

_ The man then reached around and grabbed Severus's cock, jerking it roughly. Severus cried out in pain, finally breaking down into loud sobs. However, he sucked in a sharp breath when he heard a loud and vicious hiss. _

"_No…" he gasped and heard his father yell and pull away. Severus managed to turn to look at the sight before him and felt his heart nearly stop as Picasso viciously tore at his father's face. He felt his stomach clench painfully as his father managed to get a hold of the cat's tail and swung him hard against the basement wall. Severus cried out in anguish when he heard the bones snap and his beloved cat go limp. His father dropped him to the floor in disgust and then angrily stalked back over to his son and began beating him in the back of the head as he cruelly finished what he had started. _

"_How dare you keep pets, you little bastard!" he shouted, but Severus was beyond caring. He laid there and let his father do whatever he wanted, as he stared at the little calico lying lifelessly in the corner of the room. _

"_Picasso…" he whispered as darkness began to swirl through his vision. As he lost consciousness, the image of his only friend stayed within his mind until finally it all went black._

Severus has been unaware that Hermione was calling him and when he felt someone grabbing his arm and shaking him, he reacted instinctively and swung out, jumping up from the sofa. His wand was drawn and he had a look of alarm and fear on his face as he looked around, only to find that he was not in the dark basement of bedroom anymore. He was standing in the beautifully decorated room that Hermione lived in with a warm Christmas tree glowing brightly in the corner. His eyes widened and he looked down to see Hermione on the floor, holding the side of her face and staring up at him in shock and fear. His gut twisted as he looked into those wide, tear filled doe eyes and backed away.

"Hermione…I didn't mean…I…" he stammered and then before anything else could happen, he rushed out of her room and back into his.

He angrily tore off his coat and ran to his bathroom, pulling a knife from his cabinet drawer and instantly sliced at his arm. He would never have knowingly hit her and couldn't believe what he had just done. Regret coursed through him as he remembered that frightened eyes looking up at him. He felt his own eyes water with self hatred and remorse as he watched the blood fill the cut before spilling over. Severus felt himself jump when he heard someone banging on his bathroom door and scowled at his own weakness.

"Severus, come out here!" Hermione cried.

"Go away, Granger! I told you this was a bad idea!" he said coldly, but there was a distinct hoarseness to his voice that implied he didn't quite want things to be severed between them.

"Don't go back to this, Granger, shit! Open the door!" she snapped.

"No. Just leave," he said and let the knife blade slide over his already sensitive arm again.

Hermione did the only thing she could think of and blew the door apart because her 'Alohamora' was not working. When she looked inside, Severus was staring at her with wide eyes and bloodied hands and arms. Then his eyes narrowed angrily.

"How dare you!" he snapped. Hermione didn't care how angry he was at her. She vanished the knife he was holding and then walked right up to him and grabbed his arms, casting a healing charm before he could even object.

"You can't keep doing this, Severus," she told him firmly.

"Are you fucking mental? I just hit you!" he yelled, finally losing all self-control.

"By accident!"

"That's not the fucking point! How can you even feel safe around me?" he roared angrily.

"BECAUSE I TRUST YOU! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" she screamed, causing his mouth to snap shut. They were both heaving and staring at each other defiantly until Hermione's expression softened. "Do you really not understand how I feel about you? If I thought for one second that you had deliberately slapped me, I would have not only left, but I would have slapped you back." At that, his lips thinned.

"Hermione…"

"Don't. Do not try to make up some excuse to drive me away. If you really want me out of your life, tell me it's because you don't want anything to do with me. Leave me because you have no feelings for me, but don't try and tell me that I am better off with someone else when the only person I want is right here in front of me," she said firmly and he felt his resolve break. Severus sat down on the closed toilet seat and buried his head in his hands.

She heard him sniffle softly and knew that he was trying to hold it all in. He didn't want her to see his weakness, but she didn't want him to hide it. Hermione walked over to him and carefully wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, it seemed alright, but then he pried her arms away from him and got up and left the bathroom without a word. Did she go too far? Did he really not want her to touch him? Frowning and slightly hurt, she followed him out into the sitting room where he was pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace.

"You really are naïve, Miss Granger," he growled.

"It's Hermione," she corrected and earned a glare. "I know I can't relate to what you went through, but that doesn't mean that I am incapable of being compassionate or understanding of you."

"You have no idea what I have gone through! You do not know the depths of my pain!" he ground out coldly.

"Then tell me! Open up to me! Tell me how you feel! Let it out for God's sake!" she snapped back and saw him bare his teeth angrily before stalking over and grabbing either side of her head to hold her still and then his dark angry eyes bored into hers.

"Look at this and tell me if you still love me then!" he said coldly and her eyes widened when he cast 'Legilmens' on her, but instead of going into her mind, he pushed his memory into hers.

Hermione could see the images as clear as if they were her own and felt her stomach lurch. She watched how his father brutalized him in the most horrible way before grabbing Severus's little calico cat and breaking his neck. Once the memory went to a point where he blacked out, he roughly let her go and stalked away from her. Hermione was heaving and trying to recover from what she had seen. Although, she couldn't experience the pain he went through when he was younger, she could feel his fear, disgust, anger, hatred, and remorse. It was so much to deal with that she felt overwhelmed and couldn't stop the tears from spilling over her cheeks.

"Oh God…" she gasped as she tried to regain control of herself.

"Now do you see why you should have nothing to do with me?" he snapped angrily.

Hermione finally got her breathing under control and looked at Severus who had his head buried in his hands. She wiped her face and walked quietly over to him. Carefully, she reached out and put her hands on his wrists and lowered them so she could see his face. His obsidian eyes gazed back up at her with a look of such self hatred that she wanted to Obliviate the memories of his past from him.

"Severus, this doesn't change how I feel about you," she said softly. His mouth dropped slightly.

"How can it not? Aren't you disgusted? I am damaged, Hermione. Physically and mentally," he argued.

"What do I have to do to make you understand? Yes, your fathers actions are dispecible. Is that your fault? No. I do not judge you for that. As far as being damaged, I accept that. You are not damaged to the point that you are incapable of love and that's what's important. I don't know how physically damaged you are…"

"Quite a bit!" he said coldly, although this time not directed at her. "You saw the memory."

"I did, but that doesn't mean I know what it did. I don't know if you found a way to heal it or had the proper potions. I don't know.," she countered softly.

"_It _is damaged. You are a beautiful and talented _young_ woman…why the hell would you want an old bastard like me who has a disfigured cock?" he snapped. Hermione swallowed and tried to will away the flush in her cheeks. He really had no idea what his voice and those naughty words were capable of doing to a woman. "You could be with someone perfect, young, and fully capable of giving you want you need."

"Severus Snape! Just stop this! I want you! Don't you get it? I want to be with you! I want someone intellectual who I can talk to and have invigorating conversations with. I want someone mature who doesn't need to be told to pick up his dirty laundry or to clean up his messes. I don't want some idiot boy in my life, I want a man and I want that man to be you. I _need_ you and I want you more than you know," she ranted and heard a strange noise come from the man in front of her. Frowning, she looked at the man sitting before her to see his shoulders were shaking and his head was bent down so she couldn't see his face.

Hermione felt her heart break for him when she heard another strangled sob come from the usually strong and unemotional man. He was trying so hard to hold it in because he didn't want anyone to see him a way that made him look weak. Hermione came to sit sideways next to him and pulled him gently towards her so that he reclined into her embrace. This time he did not object. His arm snaked around her waist and he laid there between her legs with his face buried in the crook of her neck. She held him to her tightly as he shook, every once in a while emitting a soft sob. She could feel his tears fall against the soft skin of her neck and collar bone, but not once did she say anything or object. He needed that comfort and she was there to give it to him.

The door between her room and his was still open and in that doorway sat Hermione's familiar who watched the scene unfold. Anyone could watch this and see that he was a man in pain, desperate for love even if he didn't know it and Hermione was a woman that was willing to give him everything. His mistress loved the dark man and wanted to help him. Crookshanks turned from the scene and walked out the secret cat door that his mistress had put on the door and made his way down the dark corridor, knowing exactly what he was in search of.


	22. Chapter 21

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 21**

Christmas break was almost over and although Hermione had spent most of her time with Severus, they had not done anything other than stay in each other's company and enjoy it. Nothing sexual came out and they had not even kissed since then, but Hermione knew when she got into this that it would take a lot of patience on her part. She had noticed that on many nights, he would come and spend time with until he absolutely couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and she wondered why that was until she heard him the other night. Nightmares. He tried to stay awake until he got to the point where he couldn't anymore because he didn't want to deal with the nightmares.

He probably didn't know that Hermione could hear him from her room and often cried for him. She knew that Dreamless Sleep was extremely addictive and that was probably why he didn't use it. Hermione glared at the pile of letters on her table and huffed as she realized that the students were coming back in just a couple of days. She did not want to see Ron. She had almost a letter a day from him, talking about how much he loved her and how they were meant to be together and then others with him angrily asking about the person she was in love with. Ginny had told her that she let it slip because she was so pissed off but she hadn't told anyone who it was except Harry, who to Hermione's surprise hadn't ripped her head off. She hadn't been thrilled about everyone knowing her business even if they didn't know the details, but she had felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders from at least knowing that she didn't have to hide that much from them, only the person she was with. However, it was the greatest relief to find out that Harry knew and accepted it because she had been more worried about his reaction than anyone else.

Sighing, she sat back and looked around her room. Severus was working on some potions that he did not need her assistance with and so she was catching up on some reading in her room, some of which was muggle books on Psychology and emotional problems stemmed from sexual abuse. He didn't know about those and she did not have the intention of telling him at the moment. She felt a bit lonely and actually wished that Crookshanks was there but he had disappeared a week ago, ever since Severus had flipped out. She wondered if her poor cat had been insulted at all. She knew he was fine, but it still didn't ease her mind much because he had been gone so long.

Harry was growing more and more uncomfortable around Ron as he kept declining into a person that Harry didn't recognize. He was obsessed and there was no way around that. It bothered him to know that Ron was pestering Ginny about who Hermione was in love with because he certainly wasn't going to tell him. In actuality, Ron was kind of scaring him. That wasn't something he needed right now with the war against Voldemort raging.

He often wondered if he was going to make it out of this alive. Would he ever have that family with Ginny that he wanted so badly? On some nights, the thought brought him to tears. He didn't ask for this life, but it was given to him and he had to deal with it. He knew that. However, he wished that it would just happen. Whether he lived or died, he just wanted to end to come. He was tired of having to be worried about whether or not he and the people he loved were safe. If he had to die for them then so be it. Harry kept thinking that there was something that had to give him an edge. There had to be a way to help him with this. He needed to become powerful enough to defeat Voldemort and he knew that right now, he wasn't the savior of the Wizarding world like everyone believed. He was just a student who didn't know half the spells he needed to know to get by in the Wizarding world.

Leaning his head back against the headboard of his bed, he looked up at the ceiling with a frown. He had been studying several curses and knew that he was going to have to use Dark Magic at some point. He would have to use the Unforgivables, but he didn't want to and that was what made it difficult. You had to mean it and it was hard for him to really mean it. He needed to learn how to summon that kind of hatred in order to do it. Unfortunately, he knew that he would have to learn how to do what Professor Snape had done. It had taken a huge amount of hatred for the Potions Master to kill Dumbledore against his will. Harry had to learn how to do that. His thoughts were interrupted when Ginny stormed in and slammed door, presumably in Ron's face because the red-head could be heard outside the door, yelling.

"What the hell is his problem?" Harry asked.

"He won't leave me alone about Hermione! He even tried to go through my things to get the letter she had sent. I had to burn it," Ginny said in frustration. Harry's eyes narrowed and he stood and walked past his girlfriend and wretched the door open before she could protest. Ron was red faced and angry, but surprised to see Harry looking at him furiously.

"Ron, this has got to stop! You are obsessed with Hermione and it is getting out of hand!" he yelled.

"I am not obsessed! She was supposed to be mine!"

"She is not someone's property!" he snapped back.

"SHE'S MINE!"

"NO SHE ISN'T! LEAVE HER ALONE!" Harry roared back.

"Alright, mate, if you wanna turn your back on me then why don't you leave? Some friend you are!" Ron snarled angrily and Harry stood up straight.

"Fine. I will." With that, Harry slammed the door in Ron's face again and began to pack his things.

"Harry? You're not really leaving are you?" Ginny asked softly.

"Yes. I am going back to Hogwarts. I don't want to deal with his childish bullshit. I have too much going on right now and for some reason he can't wrap his brain around the fact that Hermione doesn't want to be with him," he said coldly and then softened and looked at her. "I'm not mad at you, Gin."

"I know. I understand you're stressed. I wish I could come with you," she said softly and walked up to him and kissed him.

"I wish you could to, but Molly probably won't let you," he replied.

"No, she won't. It's alright though. I'll see you in a few days," Ginny said and smiled at him. "Tell Mione' I said hi." Harry smiled at her and pulled her into his embrace, kissing her deeply.

"I will. I will see you soon. Owl me anytime," he whispered against her lips. She nodded and kissed him again before he grabbed his trunk and walked out of the room.

Once downstairs, Molly was sitting in the kitchen with Ron trying to mollify him and Harry just walked out. The twins had overheard the commotion and gave him a nod as he left, knowing that Ron was wrong and not in his right frame of mind. Harry didn't give anyone time to say anything to him or stop him. Once he was just outside of the protective barrier, he apparated away and back to Hogwarts.

Hermione was had just finished doing some research on emotional disorders when someone knocked on her door. Her brows furrowed when she realized by the second knock that it wasn't coming from Severus's room and at this point, he usually didn't knock anyway…not that he ever really did to begin with. She stuffed her books back into her bag and got up to answer the door. When she opened it, her mouth fell slightly.

"Harry?"

"Hey, Hermione. I just wanted to let you know that I was back before dinner came around," he said tiredly.

"Oh! Come in, come in. What's going on? Why are you back and where is Ginny?" she asked curiously.

"Ron told me to leave. Ginny is still at the Burrow cause you know Molly would never let her leave."

"Why did Ron tell you to leave?" she asked hotly.

"He keeps trying to get Ginny to tell him who it is you're in love with. He tried to take the letters you had written from her…" Harry saw her eyes go wide and some of the color drain from her face. "He didn't get them. Ginny burned them." Relief filled her features and with the way Ron was acting, he couldn't say he blamed her. If Ron found out, there would be hell to pay.

"Harry…I don't know what to do. I've made myself clear to him. I don't love him like that."

"I know, you have. This isn't your fault, Mione'," Harry said but before she could reply, her other door opened.

"Hermione, I-" Severus went silent abruptly upon seeing Potter sitting next to his Hermione. His guard immediately went up and he had to fight to control his jealousy. He had to remember that Potter was not interested in Hermione in that way and that he was with Miss Weasley. "Forgive me, I will return later."

"No! Severus, please come here," Hermione said softly. Harry was surprised by the look of indecision on the man's face before he finally relented and walked stiffly over to the sofa. He sat down, rigidly, next to Hermione and eyed the young Gryffindor.

"Mr. Potter, I was under the impression you were at the Weasley's for the duration of the Christmas holidays," he said forcefully, obviously trying to be polite for Hermione's sake.

"Yeah, I was supposed to, but I got kicked out," Harry said tiredly. Severus's brows shot up.

"Excuse me?"

"Ron kicked me out," Harry clarified and then looked into the man's eyes. "Ron knows that Hermione has feelings for someone, but doesn't know who. He's angry because Ginny and I refused to tell him and he told me to leave."

"Then…you know of my relationship with Hermione," Severus said, unsure if he should be angry about that or not.

"Yes, I do. Ginny told me, but we are the only ones that know unless you two have told anyone else."

"I think the staff knows," Hermione said and shrugged. Harry nodded and looked back at the Potions Master.

"I hated you for a long time, Professor. I can't say I particularly like you, but then again I don't know you…but I've learned to trust Hermione's judgment."

"How honest of you," Severus replied, although he didn't have his usual bite. Harry gave him a roguish smirk that was so much like his father's but without the malice.

"I have no choice but to trust Hermione's judgment because she is always right and she's a bossy little swot," Harry said and promptly received a smack on the arm. "OWW!"

"I am not that bossy." That statement was followed by both men giving her a look that clearly meant they didn't agree with her. She simply huffed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It's time for dinner."

Harry watched as Hermione slipped her hand into Professor Snape's and then leaned over and kissed his cheek. He wasn't sure if he should laugh of just stay silently shocked when his teacher actually blushed. He opted on the ladder because that seemed the safest option. The three of them headed to the Great Hall and Harry eyed the two to see if they would continue to hold hands even with prying eyes, but just before they entered, the two separated but stayed close together.

"Mr. Potter? What are you doing here?" Minerva asked in surprised when the three walked up to the table.

"Ron kicked me out of the Burrow for not telling him who Hermione is with," he replied and sat down on one side of his best friend while Professor Snape sat on the other.

"Hmmm…Mr. Weasley is proving to be quite unstable," she said disapprovingly. Harry snorted.

"You should have seen how he has been since winter break started. Even his own family is a bit scared of him," Harry said and sipped his pumpkin juice.

Once dinner was finished, Hermione and Severus retired to his rooms. Hermione made it a point not to be too forward with him or invade his space, but he reached out and timidly touched her thigh. She saw him swallow as he cautiously moved it up to her hip and then to her waist. Hermione turned toward him and looked into his dark eyes and could see apprehension as well as desire.

"Severus…don't feel afraid to touch me," she told him softly and allowed him to move his hand up to gently touch her breast. She could feel the slight tremble in his hand, but he continued to run his thumb over her breast causing her to emit soft puffs of breath from pleasure. He felt her nipple harden under his touch and was fascinated by the power of such a simple touch.

"Do you…like that?" he asked uncertainly, slightly embarrassed that he had to ask.

"Yes," she said breathlessly and closed her eyes, savoring the feeling. His other hand came up and began to do the same to the other nipple, this time causing her to groan with pleasure. He noticed that she rarely ever wore a bra and he was finding that he didn't mind that at all. Then, the sweet familiar scent of hers caught his attention and caused him to grow hard.

Severus bent forward and cautiously placed his lips over hers and in gentle and somewhat uncertain kiss. He felt Hermione part her lips slightly and take his lower lip in between hers and suck gently. A small moan escaped him and he couldn't help but press his lips harder against his. Hermione reached up and slid her hand behind his neck, encouraging him. She then opened her mouth and let her tongue graze his lower lip, causing him to inhale sharply through his nose. Severus parted his lips and allowed her to slide her tongue inside his mouth against his. Pleasure shot through his body and he felt as though he were on fire. He pushed forward and crawled on top of her, placing his body between her legs. He was rubbing her breasts vigorously now and driving his tongue as far into her mouth as he could, trying to taste every bit of her.

Hermione had never felt so lust driven in her life. Her arms wrapped around him and she held him close to her, wrapping her legs around his waist. His hips involuntarily jerked against hers and she groaned into his mouth when she felt his rock hard cock rub against her core through the fabric of her clothes. They kissed passionately for several more minutes before Severus broke the kiss, gasping for air.

"I think we need to stop now," he said hoarsely. "It's too much."

Hermione was disappointed, but did not voice. Of course, with Severus's years of experience, he was able to see it on her face. He slowly removed himself from her and looked slightly ashamed as Hermione sat up.

"Severus?"

"Hermione…I'm sorry…I know you're upset," he told her, trying not to become angry. Hermione reached out and took his hand.

"It's difficult to be turned on and then not be able to complete what we started, but don't think that I am mad at you. It is my own selfish needs that are frustrating me, not you. I will wait as long as you want me to as long as you're with me," she said sincerely and kissed his cheek before moving her lips to his ear. "And you kiss divinely."

Severus couldn't help but smirk at that. He had to admit that it did wonders for his pride and it was nice to have someone stroke his ego a little bit, especially when it came to matters that he knew nothing about.

"Thank you…" he whispered and swallowed as he wondered what other things were to come. He wanted to experience everything with her, but damn if it was hard to get over his past. He would try though. For her…he would do anything.

Then they heard a knock on Hermione's door and Severus's lips thinned disapprovingly. Hermione looked at him for consent and after a moment of her pleading doe eyes, he rolled his own and nodded. She opened the door to reveal Harry Potter, just as Severus suspected.

"Um sorry…I hope you two weren't busy," he said when he noticed Hermione's slightly disheveled appearance and the flush on both their faces. His eyes widened slightly.

"It's alright, Harry. We were just talking before you knocked," she said, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh alright…"

"Did you need something, Mr. Potter? Or where you just looking for Hermione?" Severus asked, somewhat impatiently, grabbing a book and putting it over his lap to hide his erection.

"Actually, sir…I wanted to talk to you," he admitted and followed Hermione into the sitting room. He looked around and was surprised to see a lot of warm wood tones, rather than cold black. "Your quarters are actually quite nice."

"Hmmm…"

"Sir…I've been doing a lot of thinking lately…"

"Oh really?"

"Severus! Stop it!" Hermione snipped, causing the man to glare at her for a moment before looking back at the boy.

"Continue."

"Well…I've been wondering if there was something that could help me defeat Voldemort," he said and saw the man flinch slightly.

"I am at a loss as to what you mean. Are you talking about Dark Magic?" he replied with a furrowed brow.

"Well, I know I need to learn more advanced magic and most likely dark, but I was thinking somewhere along the lines of potions. I didn't know if there was anything that could help me to…I don't know…make me stronger…make me…more able to defeat him, because right now…I know I can't," Harry said.

There was a moment of silence as Severus seemed to think it over before he stood up and walked slowly to his shelves of books. There were a number of potions that had that effect, but he wasn't sure if they would be enough for Potter to defeat the Dark Lord. Severus knew of a few potions that required ingredients that were nearly impossible to obtain so he didn't know if any of his books would help Potter, but he figured he might as well let him have a look. Severus grabbed a couple of old Potions books as well as a spell books containing some more advanced curses and handed them to the boy.

"Mr. Potter, I am willing to loan these to you on the promise that they are returned to me unharmed. Do not permit anyone else to see these…well…I expect Miss Weasley will…and do not damage them," he said firmly. Harry nodded.

"Don't worry I'll take care of them. I learned the hard way the importance of books from the bookworm sitting across from me."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, I'll leave you guys to it," Harry said and smirked at Hermione as he carried the books out.

"Do you think he'll find anything useful in there? Do you know of anything?" she asked.

"Honestly, I hadn't given it much thought with everything going on. There are a few potions that will help him I suppose, but I do not know all of them contrary to popular belief," he said softly. Hermione gave a small smile and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thanks for loaning them to him. He will take care of them or else I will hex his bollocks off. Besides, it will give him something to do. He's been so distracted and pressured lately that he doesn't know what to do with himself."

Severus nodded and gave her a small smile. The war was weighing heavily on all of them, but he knew that Potter felt it more than anyone else. The entire Wizarding World was relying on him to save them and that was a burden that no one should have to bear.


	23. Chapter 22

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 22**

Hermione was not very thrilled when the students returned because she was unable to spend much time with Severus unless it was later at night when he was finished grading papers or she was done with homework. Ron had come back full force and instantly began badgering her for answers as to who she loved over him. Rumors were spread all over the school as people wondered with him, but she never gave in and told him that he was being ridiculous. She was now thankful that she no longer stayed in the Gryffindor common room with him. There was a soft meow and she looked up sharply to see her orange familiar sitting in front of her.

"Crookshanks!" she gasped and jumped off her sofa and scooped him up, hugging him to her. "Where have you been? I have been so worried." The cat purred loudly and then leapt to the floor and walked slowly to his cat door, meowing again. Hermione frowned for a moment before her brows shot up when another feline entered through the little door.

In front of her now was a little black kitten with a white tipped tail, a white underbelly, and four white paws. Hermione couldn't help but smile and scoop the little kitten up and pet it affectionately.

"Oh, Crooksy, she's adorable," Hermione said once she checked the sex of the kitten. Her cat meowed in acknowledgement and then pawed her leg. She looked down at him and watched as he went to Severus's door and meowed, looking at his mistress pointedly. Hermione frowned for a moment and then looked at the kitten and gasped. "You found her for Severus!" The orange cat purred loudly in response.

Severus was not in one of his best moods as he marked several essays with harsh red marks to indicate what was wrong with the student's answers. So far, there was more red ink on this particular essay than there was black ink. He mumbled several obscenities before looking up when he heard his office door open. He was about to snap when he saw it was Hermione and softened his gaze.

"Hey," she said softly and walked over to him, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"You look happy," he pointed out with a raised brow.

"Crookshanks came back," she said with a smile. He gave her a small smile and nodded.

"I am glad. So, where do you think your little puff ball was?" he asked and snickered.

"Actually, he was out getting something for you," she said.

"I am not interested in dead mice," he deadpanned. Hermione laughed.

"No, no…nothing like that…you know that he is half kneezle, right?" she asked.

"I was unaware of that," he replied with a frown. "Why?"

"Well…that night you were in my room and we spoke about Picasso…" She noticed that he stiffened and his gaze hardened a bit, but he remained silent. "…I think he understood what happened. He brought back a gift for you and he made it clear to me that it was for you." Severus furrowed his brows and waited as Hermione called Crookshanks to her.

Severus watched the orange cat strut inside his office and then leap onto the desk, sitting down on the papers he was grading and looking right at him. His eyes widened a tiny fraction until he heard scraping and looked to the corner of his desk to see two little white paws struggling to climb up. His brows lifted when a little black and white kitten finally managed to pull itself up and come to stand in front of him.

He stared in quiet disbelief at the little cat who approached him slowly, looking him over with large blue eyes. It gave a soft little meow before reaching out a little paw and patting his thumb gently as if asking for acceptance. Crookshanks meowed at him and he swallowed before looking at Hermione.

"He wants her to be your familiar. He went out in search of one for you and I imagine that he saw something in this kitten that he didn't see in any other he came across. That's probably what took him so long," she told him softly.

"You really think that?" he asked somewhat skeptically although his voice did sound a bit more choked. A loud purring came from the orange cat and Severus stared at him in shock. "Does he understand what we say?" The purring became louder.

"Yes, he does."

Severus then looked back at the little kitten who stared so openly at him, waiting for his response. Swallowing hard, he reached out and gently stroked the kitten's little head, causing her to instantly start purring. Hermione blinked back the tears as she watched Severus's gaze soften and his expression become open. His eyes glittered a little more than normal, but she didn't say anything about it. It was an emotional thing for him, she knew. She watched as he reached out and carefully picked up the little kitten who happily butted his chin affectionately.

"She likes you already," Hermione laughed quietly.

"That's a first," he replied sarcastically but with no bite to it. He blinked back his own tears as this little kitten snuggled up to him and purred contently.

"I hope you like her," Hermione said. Severus looked at her and gave a real smile, his eyes swimming with emotion.

"I do," he replied and then looked at Crookshanks who looked rather pleased with himself. "Thank you." The orange cat came over and butted his head against Severus's chin as well as if to say you're welcome before strolling across the desk to his mistress who picked him up and held him close.

"What are you going to name her?" she asked. He frowned.

"I do not know," he said.

"You could always name her after a potions ingredient," she suggested and heard the kitten growl. Severus couldn't help but let out a baritone laugh and shook his head. "Hmm…she might be part kneezle as well." The loud purring response from Crookshanks confirmed it.

"Yes and apparently, she and I will get along quite well," he said with a smirk and looked down at the kitten.

"Mittens?" Hermione suggested and got another growl causing the girl to give the cat a level look. "Really? You're difficult." Severus chuckled softly and watched as Hermione named off a few other names and got a growl with each of them. Severus even tried to throw in a few and received the same reaction. Crookshanks looked completely amused by the whole thing.

"Hermione, do you have a favorite flower or something?" Severus asked in slight annoyance at the kitten impertinence.

"I like Dahlias," she replied and instantly the kitten began purring. Severus looked up at his ceiling.

"Thank Merlin," he said. Hermione laughed and bent down to kiss his cheek again, but he had other plans and turned his head and captured her lips. She gave a contented moan against his mouth and smiled when they broke apart and looked at each other.

"Sneaky Slytherin," she whispered lovingly.

"Beautiful Gryffindor," he replied softly and her smile broadened and she kissed him again.

Little did they know, Ronald Weasley had snuck into Harry's things and grabbed the Marauders map and was glaring at the two dots hatefully. They were practically on top of each other and even though he didn't know exactly what that meant, it did prove that they were in close proximity to each other.

"It better not be the Greasy git you're with, Mione'," he snarled hatefully and looked at Harry's trunk. The two of them hadn't spoken since that argument and Harry seemed preoccupied with reading some texts that he wouldn't let anyone but Ginny near. Tightening his jaw, Ron got off of his bed and walked over to the trunk and pulled Harry's invisibility cloak from it.

Not caring if his friend got pissed off or not, he wrapped himself in the cloak and snuck out of the boy's room and down to the common room where Ginny and Harry were talking quietly. Silently, he snuck by and out of the common room, determined to see what was going on with Hermione and Professor Snape.

Ron made his way down to the dungeons and snuck into the Potions classroom and looked around. He noticed the light coming from the Snape's office and crept over and smirked evilly when he saw the door was cracked open. Usually, no one wandered about the dungeons at this hour so they probably weren't expecting anyone. Holding his breath, he peeked inside and saw Hermione leaning against the desk, looking at Professor Snape almost…tenderly. Ron's expression darkened. Why would she look at him like that? He was the ugly, greasy dungeon bat!

Ron felt his stomach plummet when he saw the Potions Master stand up and thought that he was going catch him, but he didn't. Instead, much to Ron's horror, the dour man bent down and gently kissed Hermione on the mouth. Ron felt his blood boil and his vision go red as he watched, _his_ Hermione wrap her arms around Snape and pull him closer. Grinding his teeth, he itched to pull his wand, but then suddenly a loud hissing caught his attention. Ron looked down and saw that the black kitten and Hermione's familiar were looking right at him as if they could see him through the Invisibility Cloak. When he saw Hermione and Snape jump apart, he darted out of the room and ran as fast as he could back to Gryffindor tower.

"Is anyone there?" Hermione asked fearfully.

"No…although I suspect someone might have been…" Severus said suspiciously with a hint of concern.

"Dammit…I am so sorry," she said.

"It is not your fault. I should have used more discretion. I suppose we shall see what happens," he said, but she could tell that he was uneasy about the situation. He didn't want other students to find out what was going on between him and his young apprentice. "Perhaps, we should adjourn to my rooms for the rest of the evening." Hermione nodded and walked with him out of the office through the hidden doorway that would lead to the corridor to their rooms.

Once they were safe inside his room, Hermione curled up on the sofa next to him and intertwined her fingers with his. She sighed in contentment and smiled up at him to see that his expression was slightly tensed.

"Severus?"

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

"What do you think?" he sneered slightly. Hermione sat up and looked at him to see his expression was guarded.

"Severus…eventually people will find out about us," she said softly.

"It is too soon for that," he snapped.

"You're not ashamed of me, are you?" she asked quietly. His brows rose.

"No, I am not. You should be ashamed of me," he replied evenly. Her expression darkened.

"Well, I am not! Anyone who has a problem with my feelings for you can kiss my ass," Hermione said waspishly, surprising the Professor.

"Such language…" he murmured before his expression softened. "Forgive me, Hermione… I am a very private man and to have people nosing around in my business is very unsettling."

"I know it is and I'm sorry," she whispered and kissed his mouth gently.

He reached up and touched her face tenderly, running his fingers along her cheek. His eyes burned into hers as he stared at her with such intensity that it left her breathless. He then pulled her closer and placed his lips tenderly over hers. It was better than any kiss that she had ever had.

"Don't apologize…I'll…deal with it…if people find out," he said with some effort. "It will make it easier…if you stayed by my side." His declaration warmed her heart and she smiled at him brightly. Hermione kissed him soundly and rested her forehead against his.

"So long as you have me, I will always be at your side," she said softly.

The next morning, Hermione went to breakfast and dreaded what she was going to find. She looked around at the students and noticed that none of them were looking at her funny nor were they whispering about her and Severus. Perhaps, they had been wrong. Maybe there hadn't been anyone there last night. She sat down and glanced up at the Head Table to see Severus sitting there with a slight frown on his face as he scanned the students. He was apparently thinking the same thing she was.

Hermione shrugged it off, feeling relief wash over her and began to eat her breakfast. Ginny began to talk to her about how difficult the transfiguration homework had been. It was a conversation that immediately caught her interest. She was not aware of the icy blue eyes watching her angrily, but with the smallest hint of a smirk on his face.

Ron listened to everything as he ate his breakfast. Most people thought that he didn't pay attention, but he did and he was making sure that he heard every single little thing Hermione had to say. That was also including the new password she gave to his sister so that Ginny could get into her personal rooms. He also listened to Hermione's schedule and felt himself smirk just a bit wider. Snape and Hermione would pay. She was supposed to be his and Snape should have kept his greasy hands off of her. He was going to expose the whole truth about them to the school and he was going to find a way to get any kind of dirt on Snape that he could.

The day flew by and toward the end, Ron had prepared himself. Inside his book bag was the Invisibility cloak and the Marauders map. When no one was around him, he cloaked himself and made his way down to the dungeons. He knew that Hermione and Snape were supposed to work in the lab tonight so he could probably get into her rooms and snoop around and with Snape's room right next to hers, there was no telling what he would find.

He saw Hermione turn the corner to the dungeons and followed her quietly, watching as she gave her password and slipped into her room. Before the door closed, he slipped inside behind her and watched as she walked into her bedroom and began to change her clothes. Ron felt himself grow hard as he watched her slip out of her school uniform and slip on a pair of jeans. He licked his lips as she wiggled her perfect round bottom into the tight material and then pulled off her shirt, revealing her naked breasts. His groin ached with need, but he felt a fury fill him like no other as he thought about Snape being the one to touch her. Hermione put a simple black shirt on and tied her hair back before leaving the room.

The red headed boy followed her quietly as she entered another door and he found that it was Snape's room and she did not ward it. Ron stayed by the door and watched as she walked over to the man and kissed him before the two walked out through his main door together. Ron didn't move a muscle as he watched Snape pause and frown, looking around his room for a moment before following Hermione out.

Ron wasn't completely stupid and he waited a few minutes before stepping into Snape's quarters. He walked around slowly and looked over everything. He had to begrudgingly admit that Snape's rooms were quite nice, but he was disappointed to see that there was nothing that he could use so far against the man. The rooms were lined with books and parchments, but there was not even a family photo. Gritting his teeth in determination he walked into Snape's bedroom and looked around. He opened a few drawers but didn't find anything out of the ordinary. Becoming frustrated, he dropped to his knees and peeked under the bed, feeling utterly stupid. However, he was surprised to see that it might have just paid off, for sitting under the bed was an old box.

He pulled it toward him and slowly opened it and after a moment of shock, an evil smile curved his lips. He sifted through the photographs and couldn't help but feel a little sick before putting them back and picking up a thick old journal. He flipped through it for a few seconds and skimmed over the contents before smirking and shutting the box, putting it back in its place, but keeping the journal tucked tightly under his arm. He had what he wanted and he quickly left the room, making sure nothing was out of place. People could think he was stupid all they wanted to, but he knew exactly how he was going to get back at them both.

Once he was in the confines of his room, he quickly pulled the journal out and began to flip through it, reading random things to get a better idea of what Snape's secrets were. Jealousy surged through him as he read about the man's feelings for Hermione. Oh how he was going to get them back.


	24. Chapter 23

**Love the Unloved**

**Chapter 23**

Almost a week went by and Ron had yet to make his move. However, it was time that he did something about the things he had discovered. Walking down the corridors, he saw a group of girls gossiping and slipped over to them. He listened for a minute as they talked about some of the other girls before he spoke up.

"Do you guys know Hermione Granger?" he asked the group of Hufflepuff girls.

"Yeah, I think everyone knows her," one girl said with a roll of her eyes.

"You know that she was bragging about her affair with Professor Snape the other night," he whispered and the girls goggled at him.

"What?"

"Yeah, she was talking about how his dad used to rape him when he was kid and how she was trying to make things all better by sleeping with him. She said she feels sorry for him," he said.

"No way! She is so not sleeping with the professor!" another girl exclaimed. Then they began to talk animatedly among each other as Ron slipped away. He made his way down the stairs to the second floor and found another group of girls and did the same thing, but told them a slightly different story, but making sure to tell them that it had come directly from Hermione's mouth.

Ron then walked to his first class, smirking all the way. The rumors were just too good to be true and pretty soon it would be spread all over the school before lunch and he would have accomplished his task of making their lives miserable.

Hermione was walking down the corridor toward the Great Hall for lunch with her nose in a book so she didn't notice some of the students staring at her and whispering to each other. Finally closing her book, she turned to walk into the Great Hall, but slowed down when she noticed almost every student staring at her with a look of contempt and disgust. Her eyes immediately went to the Head Table where Professor McGonagall and Severus were whispering angrily to each other before turning their nasty glares toward her. She felt her eyes go wide and looked at Ginny and Harry who got up from their seats and rushed toward her, practically dragging her out of the Great Hall.

"What's going on?" she asked softly.

"Mione! The whole school is talking about you and your affair with Professor Snape!" Ginny hissed.

"They know?!" she panicked.

"Yes! They are talking about how you said you got with him out of pity because of how his father raped him and that you were trying to show him love while at the same time keeping your grades up," Harry said angrily.

"I didn't…I would never…" she sputtered.

"I know that, Mione. I'm not mad at you…I am angry about how this all got out…" he said, but before he could say anything else, three Professors came up to them.

"Mr. Potter, we need a word with Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall said coldly, glaring at the Gryffindor girl. Hermione felt tears in her eyes as she looked up at Severus's stony face. Her heart nearly stopped when he saw the look of pure hatred in his eyes at that moment.

"Severus…"

"Don't you dare call me by my name you filthy wench," he hissed in a low deadly tone. The look of hurt on her face was indescribable as was the pain in her chest. Her watery eyes then landed on Remus Lupin who also had a cold expression on his usually gentle face, but there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite identify in her distress. Contemplation perhaps? Uncertainty? She was too upset to dwell on it.

Hermione was forced to follow her Professors to an unused classroom and once inside, she felt strong hands slam her into the hall. There were protests from Professor McGonagall and Professor Lupin, but it went on deaf ears as Severus pinned her to the wall and brought his face right up to hers.

"How dare you betray me, Granger!"

"I didn't!"

"THEN WHY DOES THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL KNOW ABOUT ME!? ABOUT US!?" he roared, scaring her. Remus finally stepped in and grabbed Severus, dragging him away from her.

"You cannot physically assault a student, Severus," he said, trying to make the man see reason, but the manic look of anger and malice in his eyes would have scared the Dark Lord himself.

"Miss Granger, I cannot believe you would do this!" Minerva snapped coldly.

"I didn't! Why does everyone think it was me?!"

"Because you are the only one that knows the details! Students say the source is you!" she replied icily.

"They know things that NO ONE but I or you knew!" Severus snarled.

"I don't see how-" she sobbed and was immediately cut off.

"YOU'RE WITH ME BECAUSE YOU PITY ME!" Severus yelled angrily.

"I am not!" she cried.

"I want you to stay the fuck away from me! The only reason you are still my apprentice is because of the magical contract in place, but my rooms are forbidden to you now! I don't need your pity you fucking bitch!" he snarled and stormed out of the classroom leaving a shocked Hermione behind.

"I am more disappointed in you than I even have words for. You are a disgrace!" Minerva said coldly and walked out as well.

Hermione couldn't even begin to describe the emotions she felt as she slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. To her surprise, Professor Lupin didn't say anything to her, but instead took one last look and walked out of the room. Harry and Ginny rushed in and knelt down beside Hermione as the girl finally broke down completely and sobbed her heart out.

"I…I d-didn't d-d-do t-this!" she sobbed.

"I know you didn't," Ginny said softly and hugged her. "I know you better than anyone...and I know you didn't do this."

Severus had never been more furious in his life. He was beyond embarrassed and felt a total loss of control. He hurried into his personal rooms and shut the door as tears of anger and mortification streamed down his cheeks. He felt ultimately betrayed. Nothing, not even his father's misdeeds had cut him to the core like this. Blindingly, he ran to his desk and began rummaging through his drawers until he came across what he was looking for and before he even stopped to think about it, he slashed angrily at his arms.

Blood streamed down onto his clothes and carpet but he didn't care. He wanted the thoughts of Hermione Granger to be gone from his memory. He clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to punch the little Gryffindor in face, but at the same time his heart ached for her. How he hated it.

Sobbing in grief over everything that happened, he fell to his knees and cried in anguish. His fists angrily punched the floor as he tried to use the physical pain to take away his emotional, but it just wasn't working. Everyone knew his most protected and dirty secret. No one would have known if it wasn't for Hermione Granger. His eyes narrowed through his tears and he glared coldly at his bloodied arms and hands.

"I'll make you sorry, little girl," he hissed cruelly.

Hermione didn't attend any of her other classes and she skipped potions as well. When she had walked down the hall, there were several students who would giggle and point at her as they whispered to each other. She felt more humiliated than ever before as she heard the names that had been called after her.

"Teacher's whore!"

"Little bookworm bitch!"

"Ugly bint!"

"Snape's sex toy!"

It was more than she could bear so she locked herself away in her room and refused to come out. She couldn't stop crying and she couldn't face anyone. She could feel the wards on Severus's door radiating off the wall and it only made her feel worse. As she lay curled up on her bed, she held in her hand, the earrings that Severus had given her.

Crookshanks and Dahlia jumped onto her bed and padded over to her. Her familiar meowed softly, trying to console her, but his mistress was beyond consoling. Her heart wrenching sobs echoed throughout the room as she buried her face in the pillow. How could this have happened? Everything had been going so well.

"I didn't do it…" she sobbed as she looked at the orange cat and black cat. "I love him! I really love him! I would never do this! I never even told Ginny and I tell her everything!" Her cries became even louder. Her face was red and splotchy and her eyes were swollen and red.

Not knowing what to do, Crookshanks and Dahlia scooted closer and cuddled next to her, trying their best to give her some kind of comfort in any way they could, but Hermione's hand was wrapped around her Christmas gift from Severus and her face was once again buried into her pillow.

Harry couldn't focus on any of his school work or even his personal research as he thought about his best friend. Ginny sat with him with one of the loaned potions books and flipped through it, but had a hard time concentrating as well. She wanted to know how this had happened, but everyone they had talked to said that it was Hermione that started the rumors. It wasn't right. She knew it wasn't, because she knew Hermione would never do such a thing.

"I can't do this," Harry said in frustration. Ginny looked at him solemnly.

"I can't focus either. I can't stop thinking about Hermione," she said quietly.

"Neither can I…did you see her face?" Harry asked softly and blinked back his own tears for his friend. "I have never in all my years knowing her seen her so heartbroken. Never. She looked so…lost…" Ginny felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"She loves him…she really loves him…and everyone is making this out to be some kind of scandal…"

"When I find out how this started…someone is going to pay…" Harry growled. Ginny nodded and looked back down at the book she was looking through.

"Hun, look at this…"

Remus Lupin walked down to the dungeons and headed for Hermione's room. He had listened to the rest of the staff rant about her betrayal to Severus and he couldn't stand it any longer. Something wasn't right. Minerva and Severus might have been too angry to notice, but the utter despair on that girl's face made him question whether or not she had really said anything. It was a difficult case to solve because some of the rumors that were going around, Severus had said that absolutely no one could have known but him and Hermione.

Remus stood in front of her door and asked the portrait to let him through. Since he was a Professor, the request was granted and he walked into the room and heard her desperate cries. His chest tightened at the sound and he strode across the room and opened the door to see the fiery young Gryffindor curled up on her bed and crying harder than anyone he had ever heard cry before.

"Hermione?" He kept his voice soft as he approached the bed and sat down on the edge. She looked at him with large tearful eyes and trembling lips. "Hey…" he said softly and felt his heart break for the girl. There was no way it was her.

"I didn't do it…I s-swear. I l-love h-him," she croaked and then suddenly burst into tears again.

Remus immediately grabbed her and held her close to him, hugging her tightly. He rocked her back and forth and let her cry. He smoothed out her hair as he rocked her and whispered soothingly to her and eventually, her sobs died down but she clung to him desperately.

"Hermione…who else would know these things?" he asked softly. She sat up and looked at him miserably.

"No one…from…what I've heard…it makes perfect sense…that they would blame me…" she choked out. "But…it wasn't me…I swear. I don't know who…could have done this…it wasn't me…it wasn't me…"

"I know, Hermione. I'm sorry I didn't believe you before but I realized my error after Severus confronted you. Oh Hermione…I am so so sorry," he said as he held her.

"I can't believe this is happening…" she sniffed, physically unable to cry anymore. "I worked so hard to get his trust...and now it's gone…"

"Hermione, we will figure this out, alright. Something will give and Severus will see that it wasn't you. Whoever started this will make a mistake," Remus told her.

"So what? The damage is done. The secret that he kept for so many years is out," she said desolately.

Remus wanted to say something, but there was nothing that he really could say. She was right. Severus's most guarded secret was out. He closed his eyes and held her closer, stroking her hair absently. It was a shame really. Hermione and Severus were perfect for each other and she genuinely loved him.

Severus sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. He had heard Miss Granger's crying and put up silencing charm so he didn't have to listen to it anymore. He was angry, resentful and full of hate and he wanted to make her pay. Lying down in his bed, he stared up at the dark ceiling and wondered what he was thinking when he gave his trust to her. His mind was swimming with memories that seemed to hurt all the more now.

_ Fourteen year old Severus walked slowly toward his front door with his trunk dragging behind him. It was summer and he had to come back home…a place he hated with a passion. He walked inside and looked straight at his father who was sitting on the sofa with a vodka in his hands. _

"_Well, well. Look who decided to come home," he sneered. "It's a good thing because your mother hasn't been very satisfying lately." _

_ Severus knew exactly what that meant and sighed as he walked down the hall to the basement door. He brought his things down stairs and set his trunk next to his bed. His eyes scanned the toys that his father used to torture him with and dreaded his summer. _

_ Hours past and his father never came down and for that he was grateful. Biting his lower lip, he reached into his trunk and pulled out a magazine and began sifting through the pictures. He stopped when he came to a curly haired brunette and after a moment of staring at her, he reached into his pants and touched his semi-hard cock. It took a few minutes to get it hardened, but when he finally got it, he began to stroke himself carefully. This was a practice that he just did not do, but he was going by what felt right. _

_ Severus had finally gotten a rhythm and was getting closer and closer until he heard his basement door open. He could have cried in frustration. He scrambled to cover himself and hide the magazine but his father was already in his room and had seen enough to know what he was doing._

"_Wanking off, are we?" he laughed darkly. "Well, let's see if I can help you finish the job." _

_ Severus didn't have the time to button his pants as his father grabbed him and yanked his trousers down. The magazine had fallen to the floor and had flipped to a busty blond woman with bright blue eyes. He heard his father spit in his hand and knew what was coming. _

_ When Severus felt the intrusion, he tried to keep his emotions at bay. He was getting better at it, but he still wasn't as good as he wanted to be. He felt the bile rise in his throat as his father began to thrust into him while reaching around to grab Severus's deflating member. _

"_Why don't you look down at that pretty blond girl, boy? I bet you'd love to stick you cock into her tight wet cunt wouldn't you?" Tobias sneered. _

_ Severus didn't agree and the more his father abused him while looking at this photograph, the more turned off from the type he became. His father stroked him fast and hard, causing Severus's body to unwillingly respond. He gritted his teeth and tried to fight it, but it was becoming harder. It hadn't helped that he had already been aroused by his own private ministrations earlier. _

"_That's right, look at her!" his father growled, thrusting brutally. Severus looked down in horror at the smiling woman and his own stiff cock being pumped viciously. He did everything he could to fight it, but he couldn't. Severus gasped in despair and shame as he felt himself erupt and the thick fluid shot out and landed on the image of the blond woman. _

"_No!" he cried in shame._

"_Ha! Yes!" Tobias laughed and released deep inside Severus, bruising the boy's hips as he gripped him tightly. _

_ Once his father left, Severus crumbled to the floor and angrily balled up the magazine. Tears streamed down his face as he sat, naked on the stone floor crying. How he hated his life. Severus couldn't help but feel utterly disgusted with himself and vouched not to masturbate again after that. He would never trust anyone. Severus could never open his heart to anyone again after all of this. He had tried to be friends with Lily but she was so easily tempted by Potter and Black and left him alone. Severus never wanted to open himself to anyone. Not mentally…not physically…not at all._

Severus worked as hard as he could to put up his Occulmency shields and after some effort, they began to put themselves back into place. He felt his heart harden. It was what he needed. He did well when he was serving Dumbledore and the Dark Lord; there was no reason why he couldn't do it again. He would block them all out. Hermione would be sorry for betraying him and the rest of the students with regret ever laughing at him.


End file.
